Die early or watch them deteriorate?

[McLovin32]

Wow. Sorry.

Did she smoke?

She did regularly in college, then in our mid-late 20's she became just a "social smoker."

Fairly certain she didn't smoke at all after she got married.

 

[HawkeyeShawn]

Sorry you are going through this.

Both my parents died of cancer. Both ended up in hospice care. One went in about 4 weeks, the other in 9. Both periods seemed like forever.

I don’t know how you are handling 4 years.

I would pick fast. Watching them deteriorate was tough. Worst part is when they lost the power of speech but wanted to say something. Horrible.

The only favorable thing I would say about going slow is that I got to have some pretty cool conversations with them while their minds were still sharp and they could still speak.

And a good memory I have is on a shift change between my sister, and me, my Dad was sleeping. My sister nudges him to say she was leaving and I was here to take care of him - he looked over at me and just smiled.

I will take that smile with me to my grave.

4 years. Some days feels like a nightmare. Scheduling caregivers for 13 hours a day, 7 days a week. We then payroll them. I also manage his excavation business on the side which we keep going to earn enough to pay for his care. It’s exhausting. It’s even more exhausting taking care of someone who doesn’t want to live. Add to that I hated that man for a majority of my life. I’ve found forgiveness through many years of therapy.

 

[St. Louis Hawk]

4 years. Some days feels like a nightmare. Scheduling caregivers for 13 hours a day, 7 days a week. We then payroll them. I also manage his excavation business on the side which we keep going to earn enough to pay for his care. It’s exhausting. It’s even more exhausting taking care of someone who doesn’t want to live. Add to that I hated that man for a majority of my life. I’ve found forgiveness through many years of therapy.

You’re a good man. Best wishes.

 

[coorsoriginal02]

It's not about you. It's about those that are left behind. Death is easy on those doing the dying

For those that are watching the “dying” happen…

…it’s “easier” to have it be quicker as opposed to watching the deterioration play out. Easier on everyone.

 

[seminole97]

I've mentioned before, I unintentionally exposed myself to carbon monoxide poisoning due to a rusted out muffler in a Datsun 510. It was winter, so the windows were rolled up, but the drive home from school just over two miles. I was passing out tired when I got home. Went up the stairs to my room to take a nap and caught my face in the mirror on the landing. Cheeks were rosy red, and then it clicked (honestly, due to the scene in Christine where it shows up with Arnie's dad dead, and Stephen King's description of his pallor) that I was poisoned.

Let me tell you. there can't be an easier way to go. Like dozing off while watching football on a lazy Saturday afternoon.

When I'm done here I'll get a dryer vent tube and take a permanent nap before suffering for years.