Get rid of your crap before you die so you aren't a pain in the ass to your family...
- Thread starter Nole Lou
- Start date
Yep, we were fortunate. Lived in the CR metro as did both parents. My sister lives in Dubuque so she wasn't there nearly as much, but come sale time she spent the entire last two weeks getting the piles organized and tabled/tagged to where we had our "storefront" ready to go.
All situations are different, and I get why some people have to do it the easiest way possible. I do know a couple people that were in exactly the same situation as you and they both did a blended approach. Went down for a week to see what was actually there, since they were the beneficiaries took what they wanted to keep...then one check sold everything off to someone to haul away.
My grandma died a few weeks back. We found a love letter from a (married) man talking about how much he enjoyed making love to her and couldn’t resist wanting to grab her and run away with her. That was pretty fuggin weird. So maybe get rid of your kinky stuff when you’re old.
Missing FW: FW: FW: FW: from the post title, but otherwise A+Other thread about estate planning reminded me of this.
I have been going through this and seeing others go through this several times in the last couple years. For the most part, your kids don't want all the crap you've stored. Also, all that stuff you think is worth something...it probably isn't any more.
Listen, when you die, your kids/grandkids are going to be upset and mourning (God willing). Unfortunately, they also might have just finished painstakingly nursing you through a months long if not years long terminal illness. AND NOW...they have to get rid of 3 decades of National Geographic you saved, 8 rooms of "antique" furntiture, and boxes upon boxes of china and glassware that have been packed away since the Carter administration.
It absolutely sucks. It's emotional, but it's also damn hard work, very expensive, and delays the ability to settle your estate. Frankly, its a shitty thing to do to your kids in what will already be a shitty time.
1. Ask your kids what they want. With the exception of some extremely important family heirlooms like a great grandfather's civil war medal or something that you might insist they keep, if they don't specifically want it, trash it. Even if it's important to you. Nobody wants autographs of the guy that played the uncle on the Patty Duke Show, even if it was a huge deal to you when you met him. They never met your grandmother, what do you want them to do with her wedding dress...are they supposed to store it for years indefinite?
There are plenty of things that have great sentimental value to you, and that's why you've kept them. It will be painful to throw them out, for sure. But if you don't, all you are doing is transferring that pain to your kids, forcing them to feel terrible about getting rid of (or having to make room for) something that "obviously meant so much to mom" shortly after you've kicked the bucket.
2. That stuff that you're sure is valuable? Unless you've had it appraised in the last few years...it's probably not. No, don't throw out a Mickey Mantle rookie card, but older people from the pre-Ebay era are convinced that tons and tons of stuff is "valuable", and most of it isn't. It probably was at one time. If you needed to find the gravy boat to complete a 1940's set of Sears dishware in 1989, that might mean scouring estate and garage sales for years, and you might well have been willing to pay $100 once you found it. Now, you can find hundreds of them shipped free from from all over the world, and they cost like $9.
Most of that old crap isn't really worth the hassle it takes to liquidate it. I went through this with my mother and the "depression glass" she lugged from house to house for 60 years. I had boxes of the stuff...and when I took it to a dealer, they bought one candlestick for $10. I went straight next door and dropped it off at Goodwill.
Here's the tip I was told...if it wasn't really valuable in it's time, it's probably not very valuable today. If you've got Swarovsky cristal or Tiffany in the attic...that's probably well worth something today...but if middle-class ass folks like my parents could afford it in 1960, it's not worth shit today for the most part.
If you really think you've got something valuable, get it appraised, and unless your kids are specifically opposed, sell it now. You're the one who used to be into classic fishing lure collecting, you know what you've got, so you sell it. Otherwise you're turning it over to your kids to learn how they are supposed to price and sell antique fishing lures. The vague "that is supposed to be worth something" applied to half your household just leads to way more crap, and way more work to get rid of it.
3. Nobody is going to want your old furniture. Unless you know for a fact you have some special turn of the (last) century piece, make piece with the fact that it's functionally worthless. Nobody wants a china cabinet any more. If you paid $1500 for a big china cabinet in 1965, it is currently worth -$100 that your kids will pay a hauler to take away. Same for fancy dining tables, buffets, big chandelliers. Most of that stuff they will not be able to actually, literally give away for free. There is a good chance that "Amvets will pick it up" is not at all true either.
Now, I'm not in this case saying you should get rid of the furniture you are using on a daily basis, and live your last 20 years out in an empty room. But when you downsize, or move into active adult housing or whatever...don't store that stuff. And give your kids permission, if not instruction, to just get rid of it in the easiest and cheapest manner possible.
TLR: If it's not something you currently use, and it's not something your kids specifically want, don't burden them with having to get rid of it all when you're dead.
I declined. It was funny that he asked, though. Like anyone would say, yeah, I could use that!
I bet he has some good stuff, but glad I don't have to deal with that. Let me know if you find a GTO or Chevelle, I might be interested.
The best thing is that if the head gasket ever needs replacing, y’all have the bolts.
The other thing is, if the head gasket never needs replacing, y’all have the bolts.
Oh, the engine is currently in two pieces...but...yeah, I still don't know if we'll ever need the bolts.
Bolts at the ready.It's actually a pretty cool, and relatively rare tractor. An orange John Deere with belly mounted sickle mower.
This isn't it, but same model.
Since I settle estates for a living, I’ve seen some things. Found a porn stash, dildos, ball gags, various other toys. And that’s not just from one. Various estates for folks between 50 and 70 usually.
Truer words never spoken. Farm heirs in particular are the absolute worst because they usually have the money to pay lawyers to fight about stupid sh!t.
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I worked for an auctioneer in my spare time for a few years. They were also realtors and agreed to clear out the house just to get the real estate listing from the family on numerous occasions.
Half the time we were dealing with families who thought their stuff was priceless & end up pissed when no one else at the auction gave a crap about grandma’s cup and saucer collection.
You try to explain to these people that strangers have no sentimental connection to the items like you do. Then on the other end of the spectrum I’ve seen people come to blows over quilts and blankets, all sorts of stupid things.
Half the time we were dealing with families who thought their stuff was priceless & end up pissed when no one else at the auction gave a crap about grandma’s cup and saucer collection.
You try to explain to these people that strangers have no sentimental connection to the items like you do. Then on the other end of the spectrum I’ve seen people come to blows over quilts and blankets, all sorts of stupid things.
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