How do you know

[Kinnick 4 Prez]

when you're ready for a kid?

Been married for 3 years to my wife and neither one of us are sure we even want kids. We enjoy our free time together with travel and sporting events.

How do you know when you're ready?

Oh and no pic of wife.

 

[TexMichFan]

when you're ready for a kid?

Been married for 3 years to my wife and neither one of us are sure we even want kids. We enjoy our free time together with travel and sporting events.

How do you know when you're ready?

Oh and no pic of wife.

I think your answer is in your OP.

No harm in not having kids if you don't think they are going to add more to your life than enjoy life without going there.

 

[iCRUNCH]

Who's going to take care of you when you're crapping your pants?

 

[Hawkeyes94]

We didn't have kids until we had been married for 14 years. Didn't want anyone to think we HAD to get married. ;-)

Enjoyed traveling, put away some cash early, glad we did it that way. Nothing wrong with having kids early and enjoying life later either.

Bottom line, you'll know. No need to rush it.

 

[Kinnick 4 Prez]

Who's going to take care of you when you're crapping your pants?

 

[Mountain Man Hawk]

Kids are tons of work. Once you have kids, seemingly your entire life revolves around your kids. Don't get me wrong, my kids are the best thing in my life. It's hard to understand until you have them how kids can simultaneously be both the hardest thing in your life and the best, but that's how I feel (I have a toddler and a newborn and I'm not sleeping well right now...I'm hoping it eventually gets easier). Anyway, the reason I say all of this is to point out that this isn't a decision to just jump into on a whim. You want to wait until you are really ready. Both for your sake and the kids.

 

[iCRUNCH]

My son is the best thing to ever happen to me. Gives me a purpose in this world. I do everything I can to make his life better than mine, and it feels great.

 

[Mountain Man Hawk]

And to better answer the question about how you know it's time, that's obviously going to vary from person to person. For me, I always knew I wanted kids so that part was easy, after that it was just a matter of timing. I waited until I felt financially secure and until I felt like I got all of my partying out of my system. I was in my mid-30s and all of my friends started settling down and having kids so that made it easier because I didn't have to feel like all of my friends were still going out having a bunch of fun without me. And of course if you wait too much longer after you're in your 30s then your wife's fertility drops and it's harder to get pregnant and it becomes a high risk pregnancy. Nowadays I know more people are having babies at the age of 40 but infertility does become a risk as you age.

 

[LuteHawk]

IF you have to ask the question, then you are not ready.
Children are a bonus and blessing and you will want to
have them when the time is right.

 

[pocha444444]

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/reliable-source/2010/12/16/owenwilson.jpg

When you're in love?

 

[pocha444444]

God dammit how do you post a pic on this new format?

 

[iCRUNCH]

 

[KennyPowers_96]

How old are the two of you? If she's 35 it's one scenario, if she's 25 it's another.

 

[Kinnick 4 Prez]

How old are the two of you? If she's 35 it's one scenario, if she's 25 it's another.

34 & 33

 

[swagsurfer02]

I wasn't ready, buts kids just come when you have sex without a rubber!


She's great and will be 12 in November!

 

[Honda Hawk]

I have three little crumb creatorz. Its a lot of work but you'll get more gratification out of parenting rather than having another boring ass brunch. Trust me. I wasn't supposed to have any kids, liked my time, and be the forever bachelor|. Now I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[BABiscuit]

You may never feel like it is time. Kids are a huge deal and you may always feel like you need a little more money in the bank or a little more time to do your own thing. If you want kids, sometimes you just have to do it. I have three kids. I want to punch my 7 year old and 5 year old in the face about five times per day, but I am glad I have them.

 

[curt26]

when you're ready for a kid?

Been married for 3 years to my wife and neither one of us are sure we even want kids. We enjoy our free time together with travel and sporting events.

How do you know when you're ready?

Oh and no pic of wife.

Being a GOOD parent requires selflessness. I don't mean making your kids the center of the universe... I mean, good parenting is hard to do and you will have to make sacrifices to your "wants" if you want to be a dedicated, involved parent.

If the thought of kids just makes you think of all the fun you'll be missing out on, I'd steer clear of having kids for now. I personally LOVE being a dad and wouldn't change it for anything... but I really wanted to be a dad.

 

[andrewrayhons]

Wife (pic in avatar) and I are 32 / 31 and we are having our first in July. We both were not sure if we wanted to have kids, but we are both very excited now and are ready for it. We didn't want to wait too much longer anyway as after 35 or so, women have tougher times with pregnancy.

You really don't know how you will feel until that test says positive!

 

[OC_Hawk]

I say go for it. What's the worst that can happen if you decide later it's not for you?

 

[jellyfish10]

I knew I was ready when Mrs. Jelly was a senior in high school.

 

[hawkfan_03]

I have three little crumb creatorz. Its a lot of work but you'll get more gratification out of parenting rather than having another boring ass brunch. Trust me. I wasn't supposed to have any kids, liked my time, and be the forever bachelor|. Now I wouldn't have it any other way.

I don't know what boring brunches you were going to, but my brunches are amazing. I will say that it's a much easier decision for me and my partner to not have kids but that doesn't mean we're not trying.

 

[swagsurfer02]

I knew I was ready when Mrs. Jelly was a senior in high school.

I concur

 

[Honda Hawk]

I don't know what boring brunches you were going to, but my brunches are amazing. I will say that it's a much easier decision for me and my partner to not have kids but that doesn't mean we're not trying.

If and when you become a parent you will understand.

I would have had a similar response 10 or so years ago.

 

[theIowaHawk]

It's not up to you, it's up to God.

Curious: what was your reason for getting married?

 

[Hy_dro]

I always knew having a kid is something my wife and I wanted. After having my first I wouldn't trade it for anything. As you noted, you enjoy your independence and I commend that. There are times where I would love to simply take off for some type of event but again, kids change all of that.

I don't think one is ever truly ready until their child arrives. If you and the mrs. Want kids don't rush into the procedure but remember women giving birth after 40 is much harder on them ( if you plan on having a larger family)

 

[tarheelbybirth]

Same as everything else...she told me.

 

[hexumhawk]

No parent is ever fully ready for a child. It is a learning process for everyone no matter how prepared you think you are.

Basically it is the best thing you will ever do and the hardest at the same time.

 

[Hawkeyemc]

You may never feel like it is time. Kids are a huge deal and you may always feel like you need a little more money in the bank or a little more time to do your own thing. If you want kids, sometimes you just have to do it. I have three kids. I want to punch my 7 year old and 5 year old in the face about five times per day, but I am glad I have them.

This. If you wait until you are fully "ready" then you probably won't ever have kids. At the end of the day, you need to decide if you want kids at all. Once you decide that, the rest gets easier. Sounds like you haven't passed that step yet. However, based on your ages, you probably need to be moving things along in the next few years. If you wait until you're 40 to have your first kid, you will be the "grandparents" that come to your kid's activities in High School. I've got two teenage boys....greatest two people/things in my life. No question about it.

 

[naturalmwa]

It's not up to you, it's up to God.

Curious: what was your reason for getting married?

 

[Lone Clone]

when you're ready for a kid?

Been married for 3 years to my wife and neither one of us are sure we even want kids. We enjoy our free time together with travel and sporting events.

How do you know when you're ready?

Oh and no pic of wife.

First of all, this is a fairly big decision that probably shouldn't depend upon the opinions of people on internet message boards

Second, my perspective is from a person who chose not to have children. My feeling was -- and is -- in line with what a respected friend and parent once told me, which basically is that if you don't know for sure that you want kids, you probably shouldn't have them.

This school of thought says that the decision is so incredibly important, and the responsibility so huge, that it has to be something you really, really want to do.

The other side of the coin, which I've heard from people who are really glad they have children, is that if you wait until you're sure you're ready, you'll never have any.

I hope that clears it up for you

 

[Smalls4IA]

I would just like to add that you don't just magically get pregnant when you want to. Sometimes it happens right away, sometimes it takes over a year to happen. Wife and I tried for over a year before we got pregnant the 1st time. Then we had 4 miscarriages, a child, 2 more miscarriages, and now we're about to push out our 4th kid. We've had every test imaginable in that time and nothing was out of the ordinary they just said those things happen. Just saying you might want to keep that in mind.

 

[Hawkeyemc]

I would just like to add that you don't just magically get pregnant when you want to. Sometimes it happens right away, sometimes it takes over a year to happen. Wife and I tried for over a year before we got pregnant the 1st time. Then we had 4 miscarriages, a child, 2 more miscarriages, and now we're about to push out our 4th kid. We've had every test imaginable in that time and nothing was out of the ordinary they just said those things happen. Just saying you might want to keep that in mind.

Agreed. Took almost two years to get pregnant the first time (and some fertility meds). The second one happened on the first unprotected sex after having the first.

 

[theIowaHawk]

This may be a hi-jacking, but I am curious:

If any of you are a) married and b) consciously not having children............what was your reason for getting married?

Personally, I got married to begin the process of having children. I did not expect it to occur immediately, but that was up to God.

 

[at4iowa]

This may be a hi-jacking, but I am curious:

If any of you are a) married and b) consciously not having children............what was your reason for getting married?

Personally, I got married to begin the process of having children. I did not expect it to occur immediately, but that was up to God.

Did God bang your wife? I did notice that she calls me by that name alot!

 

[thewop]

when you're ready for a kid?

Been married for 3 years to my wife and neither one of us are sure we even want kids. We enjoy our free time together with travel and sporting events.

How do you know when you're ready?

Oh and no pic of wife.

We were married 8 years and lived in 3 countries before we had them. No regrets. We got to learn what we liked and didn't like about parenting styles from all our siblings and friends who had kids first. At three years, you're probably still learning how to be married in some ways, just enjoy it and don't be in a hurry. There are other advantages to waiting, like being more financially settled, as kids are not bank account friendly.

 

[jaffarosenfels]

Only have kids if you REALLY want them. It's kinda that simple IMHO.

 

[gojojo]

If you realize down the road you can't handle kids you can always get divorced. This way you still get the enjoyment of having kids, but have every other weekend off to still act like a 20 year old. lots of people are doing it that way these days.

 

[3boysmom]

Agree that you shouldn't have them unless you are 100% sure you want them. If you're sure you can generally make it work even if the timing is not perfect.

 

[ping72]

When you start accumulating pets to fill the void.