Okay, so reading through this I thought maybe you lost mind or were trolling, but knowing I have liked a lot of your past posts, thought maybe I was missing something so I decided to go back and watch it again.
I get what you're saying about a potential reversal, with the angle it's hard to tell if he had it or not, since the ref didn't call it (and since most are assuming he is biased, he certainly would have called it given the chance) it must not have been.
So my issue is awarding an escape point after the whistle. You can certainly have an escape during the process of a reversal and that point not be awarded until the reversal fails and their is separation, but I don't think I've ever seen a situation where a point is awarded for an escape when guys are on the mat in a scramble for control. This is usually either a reversal, continuation of control or there is separation. Control in this situation always favors the person who last had it. Now if they were on their feet, I can see this being called after the buzzer, but not locked in contact on the mat.
More than likely, imo, the ref was momentarily confused and made the motion that both guys are on their feet. I really don't see any other explanation, no way could he actually be giving an escape.
The wrestler does not have a right to question the ref, everyone knows that, so that's an issue, can't really be argued. If you want to complain, talk to your coach. I don't know enough about the personal history to say if the flex/yell was out of bound or as the kid says, but a warning would have been nice, especially knowing the stakes, but this official was still upset about being questioned (or embarrassed by his mistake) and enforced a subjecting rule I guess he has a right to enforce. There should always be an appeals process, especially for HS wrestlers, these aren't paid athletes or even scholarship athletes, these school are there to serve them, that's their job. But with or without an appeals process, I don't think he has a chance to get this overturned.
Every wrestlers knows you don't confront or question the ref, even if they are 100% wrong.