My Neighbor is Dating Crazy

[jasonrann]

I dated a beautiful redhead once. She was close to a ten and bat shit insane. Other men used to come up to me and shake my hands at my err conquest. Hell, we even conquered a female barista at Java House. Apparently, this chick I dated went through a "bi" phase. Regardless, totally NOT worth it. We broke up mainly because she was nutso. She'd buy items at local stores and tell the merchant to use my credit card by telling them she was my wife. They actually believed that nonsense. It gets worse (doesn't it). I was moving from Iowa to Maryland and since my parents live in the IC area, had told my mother, under no circumstances, tell her where I'm going or how to reach me. My poor mother, now gone to the other side, was kind and naive. This girl, after I had moved, apparently worked at Zales in the mall. My mom used to mall walk and sure enough succubus made contact. She sweet talked my mom and told her she had a free item to give me and her, no questions asked, just for friendship. Sure enough, my mom broke down and gave her my landline, which was unlisted (for obvious reasons). One fine night, at about 1:30am, my phone rings in my Baltimore apartment. I figure it's a wrong number and don't answer it. Then it rings again. And again. And I'm like wtf is it? And on the other end is a drunk coed, "Hey, it's me Sarah." I was like you got to be f'ing kidding me. And she's trashed and I said how much have you drunk? She said "A lot of whiskey." I said how did you get my number? She goes your mom was so sweet and gave it to me. I was furious but cat's out of the bag. She goes, hey can I have some of your sperm? I'm like wtf are you talking about? She's like I don't want you in a relationship but I think you have good genes so I want to have your baby. I was like hell no. I flashed back to the times we did it and I was like this chick could have screwed me over. She used to claim she was pregnant every two weeks and go to student health and take those piss tests. In reality, I didn't realize what a bullet I had dodged. She finally lost touch with me but I do keep tabs on her. In my entire life, of all of the nutjobs, she's the one who frightens me. And trust me, I've been doxxed. Lots of weirdos out there. Beauty is fun but be careful...

I hope you played Powerball after this. Wowzers.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

My neighbor, who by all accounts seems to be a pretty decent guy, sends me a text yesterday asking if he can come over. This isn’t out of the ordinary, as him and I will grab a beer or hangout from time-to-time.

As soon as he gets in the door, I can tell he’s been through the ringer. He just looks exhausted. I ask him what’s going on and if everything is ok, then he unloads this on me…

The girl he’s been seeing off and on for over a year now is pregnant and they are now engaged. The thing is, the girl (no pics but probably an 8/10) is batshi* crazy. We’re talking punching walls, pounding on windows, screaming at the top of her lungs…you get the picture. Just the other night, she was throwing their patio furniture at their back door at 2:00am. I live in a nice area where this sort of behavior is very much looked down on, but this kind of craziness has no boundaries.

He tells me they are going to the court house to get hitched quick and then maybe have a real wedding next Spring. Part of me thinks it’s possible she could be making the pregnancy up but I don’t know her well enough outside of the occasional “hello” greeting. I did ask if she needed help bringing groceries in one time but that was more so to be polite while hoping she said, “no thank you” which she did.

I just can’t help but to think how he’s now going to be tied to this woman for a minimum of 18 years. 18 freaking years man. God damn that sounds like a whole new level of miserable.

Let this be a lesson to you fellow HORTers. If you’re going to sleep with crazy, dial up the protection.

Worst thing he can possibly do is marry her. Just an idiotic decision. Plus, if she is crazy, who knows if it is really his child. Why marry someone that is going to make you miserable. Men of HROT: get a vasectomy.

Anyone who goes bareback with a nutjob is too dumb for words - and they are thinking with the wrong head,

Amen.

 

[SoDakHawk]

Your neighbor is doubling down on stupid. He is an idiot for marrying this girl.

 

[jasonrann]

She'll get better after they're married.

Not gonna lie, I laughed out loud upon reading this. My wife just asked WTF I was doing. Classic.

 

[IowaPackFan]

I don’t know why, but this popped into my head as I read post 1…

 

[RollingBallofButcherKnives]

While all these posts are spot on and valuable advice given, we sure aren’t helping easing the stigma on mental health….😳

 

[torbee]

Edited to add another I remembered: my very first *real* girlfriend broke up with me when we were 15yo because I wouldn't get her pregnant. 15 years old.

You have to admire someone who knows what they want to do with their life and works hard to make it happen at such a young age!

Now that is the kind of spunk missing from today's youth!

 

[NDallasRuss]

You have to admire someone who knows what they want to do with their life and works hard to make it happen at such a young age!

Now that is the kind of spunk missing from today's youth!

I think she got all the spunk she needed.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

You have to admire someone who knows what they want to do with their life and works hard to make it happen at such a young age!

Now that is the kind of spunk missing from today's youth!

LOL, well in the 90's girls could get free birth control from PP. Only the trashy whoooores got knocked up in h.s.

 

[GOHOX69]

I hope you played Powerball after this. Wowzers.

I hope you're doing better my friend.

 

[gojojo]

Never get married just because someone is pregnant; kids grow up better in single family homes than a home with chaos and fighting.

Go be a weekend dad and provide for them but don't force a relationship with someone you aren't in love with.

Sincerely,

Successful Single Dad

 

[thewop]

Absolutely this. Marrying her will be the biggest mistake of his life. I married crazy. Personality disorder--years after the divorce diagnosed bipolar. Those 20 years were hell for me and for our children. I'll never fully recover. He needs to run away from any notion of marriage to her. Then he can be a stable father in the hopefully 50% of the time he has his kid. They don't get less crazy as the years pass by.

This. This is exactly what my brother in law is in the middle of right now. Get out while you can!!

 

[jasonrann]

I hope you're doing better my friend.

51 days sober today, brother, doing great! Job interviews tomorrow and Friday and the family is good too!

 

[GOHOX69]

51 days sober today, brother, doing great! Job interviews tomorrow and Friday and the family is good too!

That makes me happy man. Wishing you and your family the very best.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Trust me OP, I had a terrible first marriage. Luckily no kids out of it. But moreover I have done hundreds of family law cases. A baby is not going to salvage a marriage. I'd happily tell your neighbor all the nightmare scenarios I've seen. DM me if he is open to it. Won't charge a dime

 

[Masterprime]

 

[Gonolz]

I've played a lot of Crazy Eights. The key to winning is never play long enough that you get left holding cards.

 

[OutbackBowl2017]

Ain't it though?

As long as she swallows each and every time to prevent becoming prego!

 

[3 and Out on D]

Absolutely this. Marrying her will be the biggest mistake of his life. I married crazy. Personality disorder--years after the divorce diagnosed bipolar. Those 20 years were hell for me and for our children. I'll never fully recover. He needs to run away from any notion of marriage to her. Then he can be a stable father in the hopefully 50% of the time he has his kid. They don't get less crazy as the years pass by.

He needs to convince her to have a medical procedure first before they marry. Then after the medical procedure, run like hell.

 

[GOHOX69]

As long as she swallows each and every time to prevent becoming prego!

Funny you mention this. The only redeeming factor was that the sex was non-stop, kinky as hell and nothing was taboo. Well, some things but very few. I am glad I was in my 20's then. I'd have died of a viagra overdose nowadays.

 

[ping72]

LOL, well in the 90's girls could get free birth control from PP. Only the trashy whoooores got knocked up in h.s.

I was a graduating class of about 60. So about 30 girls. I think 4 or 5 of them had kids in HS.

We graduated high school 25 years ago this spring. A few of them are already grandmothers. Weirds me out. My oldest hasn’t even hit puberty yet.

 

[On Iowa]

He needs to convince her to have a medical procedure first before they marry. Then after the medical procedure, run like hell.

This. Drive her to the nearest abortion clinic, write a check, then head for the hills while she's still under sedation.

 

[Derekd3408]

I was a graduating class of about 60. So about 30 girls. I think 4 or 5 of them had kids in HS.

We graduated high school 25 years ago this spring. A few of them are already grandmothers. Weirds me out. My oldest hasn’t even hit puberty yet.

I have a friend that's 30 with a 15 year old. He did it right if you ask me.

The first min of this is good.

 

[SF HAWKEYE]

At my 30 year reunion half the people there were grandparents. I still have a 2nd grader...

 

[drew_hawk]

 

[Jimmy McGill]

This. Drive her to the nearest abortion clinic, write a check, then head for the hills while she's still under sedation.

The Herschel Walker play