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True love at the Birch house

Thanks to Facebook memories, this status update gem from 2014 comes back to mind once a year...

"Some husbands say "I love you" but not mine. My husband sees a commercial and says "Hey, I could have you cremated for $800."
Wait until the burial and cremation crap starts coming in the mail!:rolleyes:
 
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Reactions: 3 and Out on D
Wait until the burial and cremation crap starts coming in the mail!:rolleyes:

My dad died in 2002, my mom died several years before my dad. I was the executor of my dad's estate. I had his address changed to mine to close out his business. A couple years later I moved and changed my address but not my dad's as his estate had been closed. 13 years later I'm still getting cremation and funeral mail under his name. It seemingly never ends.
 
I’m an organ donor, though I feel sorry for anyone that has to settle for my abused parts.

Then save the cost and microwave me until I’m gone.
 
That's what I told my wife to do. Have me cremated, don't even bother with some urn. Take the life insurance, go on a vac, scatter me on some beach.

That is kind of how I am leaning too. The wife (pic in another thread) and I go to our favorite spot in Southern California each year. I am thinking part of the ashes there and some at a couple other places. The older I get, the creeper it sounds to be buried in the ground for however long.
 
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Pic of your body so we can vote on whether or not you should be cremated?
 
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
 
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