You know he isn't hearing this from others. Its just his huge dumps that he cant get to flush and he wants somebody else to blame.
Trump blames the EPA for his huge poops not going down with one flush
- Thread starter BABiscuit
- Start date
More like 4-5 flushes because it's better to flush early and often than to deal with the issue.
Trade deals and a nuclear N. Korea are too difficult. This is the kind of shit that’s in his wheel house.
I'm fine with this dimwit wasting his time on stuff like this for another year. Christ, how can anyone support this fool?
I can really see him standing over the toilet flushing 15 times and wondering why the twinkee wrapper still hasn't gone down.
We live in the dumbest possible simulation.
- Sep 13, 2002
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He makes sure that he flushes his condoms to avoid future parental lawsuits.
Well… He used to. They won’t go down anymore.
We have to seriously consider the possiblity that Trump has some faucets that he doesnt know how to work.
This is probably the most frequent reaction among meeting participants when Trump speaks:
If this is truly The Matrix, someone give me a red pill ASAP.
No doubt that he has huge turds, given his dietary choices. He is Example #1 I was talking about in the British reaction thread when I mentioned we need to push health as a preventative, not a reaction.
Someone needs to start a gofundme thing where the accumulated sum of money is gifted to whoever in a situation, like this one here with Trump pontificating on water pressure, simply blurts out something like "good god you are a fücking idiot!"
Maybe HROT offers a gratuity if this person uses the word "moran" in place of "idiot".
Maybe HROT offers a gratuity if this person uses the word "moran" in place of "idiot".
Our creators in a science lab somewhere are trying to figure out our breaking point.
When I take a massive monstrosity of a dump I'll sometimes give it a "courtesy flush" halfway through to be safe.
Folks like us are an advanced life form, us preemptive-slash-courtesy flushers.
My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.
Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"?
I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.
Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife.
"My what?"
Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.
"Wtf is a poop knife?"
Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.
He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my ****ed up family with their ****ed up bowels. FML.
I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes.
She will be getting her own utility knife now.
[Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.]
Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"?
I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.
Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife.
"My what?"
Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.
"Wtf is a poop knife?"
Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.
He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my ****ed up family with their ****ed up bowels. FML.
I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes.
She will be getting her own utility knife now.
[Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.]
That's so beautiful. I wonder if the mods have a running bet on the day of each month that a new poop thread is created. Seems like every month we have one. I'm not sure, to be honest, how HROT got its hook in me, but I like to think it was a poop thread.
- Sep 13, 2002
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If something comes out of you that requires 10 to 15 flushes, you need to call 911 immediately.
You’re also trying too hard.
First, let me commend you for starting a thread about poop, even if the intention was to diss our president. Poop is what HROT is all about. Good for you.
Second, no matter whose poop was being referenced, this is the absolute truth. They save money by requiring people to use half the water, even though they have to flush it three times.
Third, there ARE some stools that meet the guidelines and still would take a bowling ball. They just cost more.
I think he’s parodying his parody account
Do you have GIF where you could substitute bemusement with rapt attention and vigorous nods of agreement?This is probably the most frequent reaction among meeting participants when Trump speaks:
A real man doesn't flush and hover over the toilet hoping it disappears. You crap, flush and expect the toilet to do its job. You think John Wayne fretted the poop went down? NO.
You don’t hide the poop knife under the toilet tank lid like the gun in The Godfather?
The only time I could imagine flushing 10 or 15 times is if he fell in.
I’m a conservative but I actually enjoy my low flow modern toilets. My toilets have a standard low flow flush but if I press and hold then a power flush is instituted.
When I take a king shit I like to announce to the house in a loud but low baritone voice “NOW INITIATING POWER FLUSH!!!”
Let’s Mrs. Dragon (no pics) and the kids know who is boss.
When I take a king shit I like to announce to the house in a loud but low baritone voice “NOW INITIATING POWER FLUSH!!!”
Let’s Mrs. Dragon (no pics) and the kids know who is boss.
