Thanks. Young people, two toddler boys really close in age. Lots of stress. I was tell daughter last night that there are sometimes in marriage and life that you have to grit your teeth and muddle through, but it usually all works out on the other side. Kids get older and start becoming more independent, less stress. Husband and wives better figure out pressure points and when to be cool....
Man, isn't that the truth. Assuming you're not talking about abuse or something like that, that's about right on. At least one person has to just give. I see so many people, when they're dating, and everything is an argument or a debate. What movie to watch, where to eat, what to do on a weekend. And whoever doesn't get their way stews and keeps score.
Man, the most useful tools in a marriage are "Whatever you want is fine" and "Yes dear." I'm not saying that you have to get used to getting walked over, or you never get you're preferred way, or that's going to cause resentment. It's not a matter of never getting what you care about...it's coming to the soul-searching realization that at the end of the day "Wait, I don't really give a shit about all that much."
Especially men. Most guys have barely a handful of things they really, truly give a shit about. Coming to that realization, that in most cases you care about getting your way, not the actual thing, does wonders for your mental health and a peaceful marriage. I truly think the best recipe for a peaceful and happy marriage is the husband letting the wife just get her preference about 85% of the time, and then planting your flag on the 15% that actually matters to you. Making everything a 50/50 battle just grinds everyone down.
Obviously, not trying to be sexist, there are obviously relationships where the man is the more anxious party and the wife is more mentally prepared to let things most things go.
Sometimes it takes kids. For me having kids in my life put everything else so far down the list. Maybe they'll get there.
