1 in 16 Women's first experience was rape
- Thread starter gohawks50
- Start date
If she is suspected of being under the influence then the man’s job is to confirm first. I keep my breathalyzer just behind my zipper for this reason.
Some of these rapes on teenage girls were committed
by their step-fathers, uncles, or brothers. It was done
by family relatives who thought they had the authority
to get away with it. We have a sick society where there
is this notion of entitlement when it comes to sex with
relatives.
by their step-fathers, uncles, or brothers. It was done
by family relatives who thought they had the authority
to get away with it. We have a sick society where there
is this notion of entitlement when it comes to sex with
relatives.
I'm going to remind everyone that Trad is an HR professional.
Coercion: the practice of persuading someone to do something by using force or threats.
You are operating by the wrong definition of coercion.
If you are using force or threats to get sex, that is rape.
sounds like we got a few rapists among us.
Force isn't "verbal".
Threats are verbal and I agree that threatening some sort of harm is a form a rape.
I'm going to disagree with the prevailing "liberal" sentiment here. I would like to see details about the study, because what is published here gives me a feeling that the authors of the study are the ones parsing the definition of "consent" and "rape" in a manner that I would consider to be disingenuous.
It sounds as if they asked women to describe their first sexual experience, and then they decided whether or not to consider it to be "rape" regardless of the feelings of the women questioned. So if a woman indicates she didn't really want to have sex, but her boyfriend cajoled her into consenting, the authors of the study labeled that as non-consensual, and therefore rape. But if the woman herself did not consider it to be rape, I don't believe it's valid for an outside party to tell her she's mistaken; that regardless of what the girl and her partner think, she was raped. That smacks not just of condescension, but bias that discredits the findings of the study.
Now, if I'm wrong and 1-in-16 actually believe their first experience was rape, then I would freely change my opinion. But it doesn't sound to me as if that's the case.
Belem and UCLA...honest question, hopefully you know me well enough to know I'm not trolling.
Can a woman consent to sex if she's been had any alcohol?
Like, if you have a boy going off to college, is that what you would tell them? Do not engage in any physical touch with a woman unless you are sure she has not had anything to drink or any drugs?
Can a woman consent to sex if she's been had any alcohol?
Like, if you have a boy going off to college, is that what you would tell them? Do not engage in any physical touch with a woman unless you are sure she has not had anything to drink or any drugs?
If sex under the influence of alcohol is considered rape, then I’m a rapist.
And have been raped.
If feelings of regret and “things went too far” are considered rape, then I’m a rapist and have been raped.
We’re in such a hurry to label actions or justify them with some sort of term, that the lines have become so blurry and what truly IS or IS NOT.
And have been raped.
If feelings of regret and “things went too far” are considered rape, then I’m a rapist and have been raped.
We’re in such a hurry to label actions or justify them with some sort of term, that the lines have become so blurry and what truly IS or IS NOT.
It doesn't. I wasn't the one claiming that "talked me into it" constituted coercion
I believe his point was that the study might have used a more broad definition than what some of us might use.
That's plausible, it's been done before. I would be sort of curious about their methods.
The use of the term “coerced” over and over makes me question the accuracy as it’s subjective.
Man: You want to have sex?
Woman: I don’t know.
Man: What do you mean you don’t know? It’s a yes or no question.
Woman: Sure.
Woman later: I felt pressured to have sex!
I lead consent discussions on-campus, and one of the key points is “do not have sex with anybody if you are under the influence or if they are.” The gender doesn’t matter; the message is just don’t do it.
You can label it anyway you need to to fit your agenda.
I call it, not putting yourself in bad situations.
I also don’t recommend people drive down Logan Avenue in Waterloo Iowa at night in a convertible waving around money and screaming. You are not doing anything illegal but that isn’t going to mean much when you are robbed, beaten, or worse.
Of course. The point is, you're taking a risk once alcohol is involved. That risk increases with the amount of alcohol each of you drinks and with how well you know that person. At some level of drinking, one or more of you will no longer be able to legally give consent. If you're both drunk the chances are that the other won't recognize that fact.
So, are all drunken hook up with randos rape? No. Are they risky behavior? Absolutely. Will people still engage in them? Yep. Will hrot misogynists blame the women and the system and everyone but the man when things do go wrong? You're got damned right they will.
No, I get it. People like you are why women have to wear burkas in some countries. It's the exact same thinking.
I never raped anyone or even remotely considered it.
But you need your agenda talking points about being a victim so carry on.
Reading comprehension isn't a strong point huh? You said that women should cover up because men can't control themselves. That's the same thinking that's led to women covered from head to foot. Congrats on joining the US Taliban.
I don’t give a shit what anybody wears. I am just saying if you put yourself in bad situations sooner or later bad things will happen.
Dressing half naked getting drunk and being alone with people that shouldn’t be trusted is about three mistakes individually and when you combine them that is really bad.
I preach to my kids all the time about knowing your situations and your surroundings. I tell them right and wrong, illegal and legal doesn’t mean much sometimes.
And yet you focus on the women’s clothing, rather than the men’s being drunk or being alone around people who shouldn’t be trusted.
You're not say, you're just saying....
I can only hope that you don't end up in the jury box on any sexual assault case.
Of course threats in a relationship might consist of the emotional variety.
We don't know if they delineated. I don't know enough about their selection criteria to have good confidence in their work.
They are wrong also but I am talking about controlling the things you can control.
I can’t control other people’s actions.
I think they're really different things.
1) Sexual assault is sexual assault -- this regardless of item 2
2) There is self preservation and good decisions or bad decisions according to it. From the perspective of self-preservation women can make foolish decisions.
Not unlike leaving your car-doors unlocked with valuables inside.
You weren't culpable in the theft -- but from the perspective of self interest, you did something stupid.
Thanks for your honesty UCLA. This does seem to be where this discussion has been going for some time now, but people seem loathe to come out and say it like you have. If that is the new standard, I wish more advocates would be more forthcoming about that position. That any time the other party has had any alcohol, you are potentially engaging in rape to have sex with them.
Appreciate the response. How does this translate this if you are sending a son off to college though exactly? If you have any physical contact with a female who is who has had drinks, you are at risk of being a rapist, and her of being raped. Is that correct?
I believe in all these things in a macro sense...but translating them into actual "rules for living" is pretty damn hard.
