As someone who was alive in the '80s, I can confirm my generation got wayyyyyyy more participation trophies and ribbons than my kids' have. Was it not a phenomenon in the 1940s when you were a growing up?
60% of parents provide financial help to their adult kids
- Thread starter General Tso
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My parents provided zero financial help for me but that's basically because I went into the military at age 18. I didn't need it. They helped my 4 other siblings with school etc.
Personally I've helped my kids with cosigning on a car loan and some financial help but overall have been lucky in that regard as my oldest joined the military and youngest went to nursing school in Germany so I only had to help with housing/car costs.
Personally I've helped my kids with cosigning on a car loan and some financial help but overall have been lucky in that regard as my oldest joined the military and youngest went to nursing school in Germany so I only had to help with housing/car costs.
I asked my parents for help from time to time, but not in the last 25 years or so.
This was the first few years out of law school. With my student loan repayments, I has less money as a 1st and 2nd year lawyer than as a law student.
Both my parents said their parents helped them occasionally. And I have helped family members since then.
This was the first few years out of law school. With my student loan repayments, I has less money as a 1st and 2nd year lawyer than as a law student.
Both my parents said their parents helped them occasionally. And I have helped family members since then.
I have friends who still get like 2k or 3k cash from their parents at Christmas. Not really how my family operates but I don't think there is a problem with it.
Personally I would like to pay for vacations for my kids once they have families so that we can go on trips and get that time together. My parents don't do that for me but we've been some pretty fun places with them and it's been awesome to see my own kids spending just heaps of time with my parents.
Personally I would like to pay for vacations for my kids once they have families so that we can go on trips and get that time together. My parents don't do that for me but we've been some pretty fun places with them and it's been awesome to see my own kids spending just heaps of time with my parents.
Smart and an HSA absolutely can be used to pay for health insurance premiums. Not too mention the tax benefits of an HSA are even greater than a 401k or IRA.
No offense, but I'd say you're more that noun for not being able to interpret the bigger meaning of his statement.
Without required minimum distributions and other tax benefits.
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Same. I know a guy who gets $12k from his folks ever christmas and his wife gets another $12k.
Pretty common with older parents, especially. Gifting that money while alive instead of it being a part of taxable estate.
Yep. Would you rather give that money to your kids, or the nursing home? If we even live that long.
I'd probably be totally lame and just put that money in my kids' 529's or something but many I couldn't imagine just getting 24k at one time. It'd be like winning the lottery every year.
When I get to that point, I'll probably gift money to my kids too. But I would put verbal conditions on it. Like, downpayment on a house, build your savings, use to payoff a car loan, etc.
Maybe put in a savings account that I am able to monitor. This thread now has me thinking ahead . . .
@Funky Bunch better not pull any of that shit with his son Sharika.
It's smart. I just wish I had parents like that. Mine provided a roof and food as a kid, not much else, and then expected me out after high school.
April 25 - mark it on your calendar. Take your kids to work day.
It generally takes me around four years to save up that amount. I wish I got that every year.
My kids both had jobs starting in high school and both have had a little help from me from time to time, but nothing serious.
Both did land in a spare bedroom at various times while going through a divorce but they were employed.
One was without health insurance for a bit and needed help when they got a kidney stone and went to the ER. I was glad to help with that.
My Mom and Dad were able to pay for my college but I always had jobs for spending money and clothes, etc.
Never asked them for financial help once I was married. That would have been embarrassing.
Both did land in a spare bedroom at various times while going through a divorce but they were employed.
One was without health insurance for a bit and needed help when they got a kidney stone and went to the ER. I was glad to help with that.
My Mom and Dad were able to pay for my college but I always had jobs for spending money and clothes, etc.
Never asked them for financial help once I was married. That would have been embarrassing.
It seems OK as long as the kids aren't addicts or irresponsible.
It's extremely expensive to have a family these days.
If I had kids, I'd go bankrupt in a year or two.
It's extremely expensive to have a family these days.
If I had kids, I'd go bankrupt in a year or two.
Probably tied to the IRS annual gift tax exclusion,.. Used to be $12,000 years ago, I believe it's now $18,000 in 2024,.. Tell your friends to tell their parents.
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Which is a joke as well.
I know a few people who have been married and having kids and are still on mom and dad’s health insurance.
If they are doing this because some kids are still in school and don’t know how to work, why don’t they do it on the opposite end. Allow parents to retire a bit earlier and be on their kids insurance plan and allow them to enjoy life a bit more.
Or is it causing prices of things to be higher because they essentially have a duel income and it causes more harm to the people that have been weened from their parents tit.
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Its just a guideline. 2 of my kids are in grad school, so I dont mind helping them. My oldest is on his last phone with me. He knows that when he upgrades or replaces this time, its on him. He is 24. Its a process that starts at 18 when they move out and ends around 24-25.
I think 24 or so is the age when someone really is an adult. I know 18 is the legal age, but I think 24 is it in all functional ways really.
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Never needed help from my parents but have been given quite a bit. College was paid for and we get maybe $1k-$2k/year for Christmas and birthdays. They are well off so I’m sure they’d step in if ever needed and may or may not have had to do so for siblings.
For my three kids, I plan to help create generational wealth. Their college will be paid for. Then I plan on taking two additional steps:
1. For their jobs worked in high school and college, I plan to contribute to IRAs on their behalf so they have a solid nest egg that will compound tremendously for their retirement.
2. Any inheritance received, I’d like to split into 4ths. Each kid gets a quarter and so do my wife and I. The idea behind this is that if I receive an inheritance at 50, it doesn’t help me a ton but could be extremely helpful to my kids at 20 or 30. I’ll probably do this through a trust but I have time to figure that out. My grandparents were pretty well off too and the grandkids got nothing. I would like my kids to be the benefactors of my parents and then my grandchildren to be my benefactors (with guars rails obviously) if at all possible.
For my three kids, I plan to help create generational wealth. Their college will be paid for. Then I plan on taking two additional steps:
1. For their jobs worked in high school and college, I plan to contribute to IRAs on their behalf so they have a solid nest egg that will compound tremendously for their retirement.
2. Any inheritance received, I’d like to split into 4ths. Each kid gets a quarter and so do my wife and I. The idea behind this is that if I receive an inheritance at 50, it doesn’t help me a ton but could be extremely helpful to my kids at 20 or 30. I’ll probably do this through a trust but I have time to figure that out. My grandparents were pretty well off too and the grandkids got nothing. I would like my kids to be the benefactors of my parents and then my grandchildren to be my benefactors (with guars rails obviously) if at all possible.
It sure is. We have two kids, 4 and toddler. It cost over $10k for each of them for prenatal care and the hospital birth. First one was a January baby, so the deductible reset right before the birth, ended up closer to $15k total.
That's with a high deductible plan, but I went back and crunched the numbers as close as I could, and even with a more traditional plan, the much higher premiums would have made it close to a wash. The tax deduction made it better than the traditional plan net. My mom thought I was joking until she saw the bills, and she worked in healthcare for decades until recently.
We had saved up quite a bit beforehand to pay the medical bills and got rid of all debt except the mortgage before they were born, but that stung. Would love to have that money for something else about now.
Then daycare is just crazy expensive, looks like a mortgage payment on the budget line item. Food and clothes, etc. aren't cheap either, but these big ticket things hurt way more than the everyday prices with inflation.
I do have 529s going slowly for both of them and hope to be able to help them as adults when in a pinch as others have stated. But the plan of three kids is on hold if not canceled with how stupid expensive it is up front.
Man, I can't imagine this. I've basically been on my own since I moved out after high school. Had to take out student loans, no help on down payment, furnished my house with furniture I got for free. I get Christmas and birthday gifts buts it's usually a few shirts and socks or a pan. One year I got boxes of pasta as my Christmas gift from my folks. It's such a mind fvck to me that people get actual valuable stuff as gifts. This thread makes me feel so bad about myself.
Nothing like raising a generation that can't stand on their own 2 feet and need to have mommy and daddy take care of their grown children because the kids have shit for brains.
What a group of worthless adults.
What a group of worthless adults.
The key point is understanding how fortunate I am. I know many others in a similar or much better position and they can be complete selfish dicks. My family has done well for several generations and it is my mission to continue that and instill it upon my children. Plenty of others out there are willing to blow up and piss away everything that those before them built up.
People who don’t help their kids out with things like college are either super poor / bad at managing money, massive assholes, or have super smart kids.
It's so terrible that this is even a thing that has to be done. The amount of resources medical care is consuming and holding people back is ridiculous.
You read the actual polls from pew and I don’t see much wrong with this and it was how I was as a Gen X person along with most of my friends. It focused only on 18-36.
I and most of my friends had help getting through college 18-22. Had help with healthcare. Had help with bundled car insurance to save money. As I got my first job, I too leaned on my parents, mainly my dad for career and financial advice. Even in late 20s as I approached fatherhood they gave us one of their cars, nicer than the one we had, as a gift.
I totally want to be there for my kids too in that transition period from a high school senior to full adult and get them positioned as best as possible to have a wonderful adult life.
And my grandparents born in 1914-1918 did the same to their baby boomer kids, paying for my Dad’s college and even helping them get their grandson (me) braces in the 1980s when my parents were in their 30s.
This is way different than the crowd still on the parents tit and very dependent on them their entire adult life.
www.pewresearch.org
I and most of my friends had help getting through college 18-22. Had help with healthcare. Had help with bundled car insurance to save money. As I got my first job, I too leaned on my parents, mainly my dad for career and financial advice. Even in late 20s as I approached fatherhood they gave us one of their cars, nicer than the one we had, as a gift.
I totally want to be there for my kids too in that transition period from a high school senior to full adult and get them positioned as best as possible to have a wonderful adult life.
And my grandparents born in 1914-1918 did the same to their baby boomer kids, paying for my Dad’s college and even helping them get their grandson (me) braces in the 1980s when my parents were in their 30s.
This is way different than the crowd still on the parents tit and very dependent on them their entire adult life.
Parents, Young Adult Children and the Transition to Adulthood
Most U.S. young adults are at least mostly financially independent and happy with their parents' involvement in their lives. Parent-child relationships are mostly strong.
www.pewresearch.org
My Mom is dead. My Dad is worth a couple million. For the last 30+ years we get $100 for Christmas. Nothing for birthdays. No help from them/him after high school. I paid for my tuition myself. My sister did receive some financial help from my dad. Some for house repairs a few years ago and then again after her cancer diagnosis. I had to be the one to tell my Dad that he should help her. Talked him into the IRS max for 2023 at $17k. So while the old miser hordes his cash, I do know that if I found myself in hard times, I’d just have to ask.
As for me and the Mrs. My oldest is 23, with Doen Syndrome. He lives at home, works part time at Fareway and is on disability SS. He pays us $300 for rent and food. We don’t need it, but he has to keep his bank account balance under $2k or something close to that number. We actually have to force him to spend money. Middle son, we are paying for his college. Youngest son we will do the same. My plan is, after my Dad passes, he’s 83, we will use a portion of that inheritance to pay off any student loan debt they may have. After that, I hope that they would be ok on their own, but I know we’d help them if they were ever in need.
As for me and the Mrs. My oldest is 23, with Doen Syndrome. He lives at home, works part time at Fareway and is on disability SS. He pays us $300 for rent and food. We don’t need it, but he has to keep his bank account balance under $2k or something close to that number. We actually have to force him to spend money. Middle son, we are paying for his college. Youngest son we will do the same. My plan is, after my Dad passes, he’s 83, we will use a portion of that inheritance to pay off any student loan debt they may have. After that, I hope that they would be ok on their own, but I know we’d help them if they were ever in need.
I know someone who has to do the $2000 thing too. Sounds like it's a pain to always keep it under. Every few weeks she has to go into the bank and juggle the money around.
The $2000 ceiling is an SSI and MedicAid rule. Yes, it is a hassle at times. My bride had clients who would have to go on spending bins to keep their assets (usually cash) under the ceiling. My wife’s clients all had pre-paid burial accounts!
College is one thing... getting an allowance in your 20s and 30s is another.
I had a family member who lived in Iowa that had some mental illness and after researching, we found Iowa was the worst state for dealing with mental illness.
Him having a job makes things more difficult. We have to report monthly and the state then adjusts his SS payment each month. We then get 2 copies of the adjustment notice in the mail, one to him, one to us. Seems like a waste of paper and postage. I’m sure there are people who scam the system or scam those vulnerable, so having a checks and balance is the reason why.
