At what age did you no longer fear death?

[ping72]

I was listening to a song by the Red Clay Strays (solid band at the crux of rock/country/blues with a lead singer akin to Elvis)… and he was singing about how he doesn’t care if he dies.

I started thinking about it, and realized that I would be completely at peace with it. That’s a recent development for me. I’m in my mid-40s.

I’m certainly not saying that I want to die, but I’m no longer terrified of it, and wouldn’t feel like I’m being robbed of a good/full life.

 

[ping72]

And here’s the song in case any of you were more interested about that:

 

[bagdropper]

Never really. Meaning, I haven't really thought about myself dying ever other than "everybody dies, so why even think about it".

And that's it, that's as far as it goes. I suppose if I had kids or a wife I'd think differently about it - but I don't, so I don't.

 

[mustang_hawk]

I’ll let know when I get tthere.

 

[alaskanseminole]

Mid 30s when I read this book:

 

[BrianNole777]

I'm 40 and don't really fear dying but I have a healthy fear of eternal damnation.

 

[THE_DEVIL]

A 6.9 years after getting married

 

[Urohawk]

Great tune. I'm 47 now. I fear a slow death (cancer, neurodegenerative disorder). If I walked out and got hit by bus it wouldn't bother me. I've had a good run. My kids are set up to be good people. All I ever cared about in life.

That being said, I haven't reached the time where it catches up- Health poor so you're in daily pain, can't do the things that brought you joy, and friends/loved ones gone. At that point I would welcome death.

 

[CarolinaHawkeye]

Given my driving record in my teens, 16.

 

[beanerhawk]

I'm 48, I've never been worried about death. My mind just doesn't work that way. Can't imagine it ever will.

 

[SF HAWKEYE]

Turned 50 in August. I've lost 5 good friends in their 40's over the past 6 years. It really struck home for me. I have 3 school aged kids so that part scares me that they would be ok, but I think I'm good with god so I've got that going for me.

CSB 2 days after my birthday I was witness to a man beating the shit out of his GF in a parking lot of a park. I was about 100 yards away but I yelled at the top of my lungs and started sprinting towards them. He was body slamming her on the concrete, I kept yelling as I ran towards him and he looked at me then walked around to the passenger side of the car and reached under the seat.

I thought well this is how I go out. Some tweaker is going to blast me in front of my wife and kids. He ended up stuffing something in his pants and taking off.

 

[soybean]

I'm 73. I guess it just started coming on gradually after my parents both passed. I no longer fear dying, but I do fear how I will die. Everybody wants to go painlessly in their sleep when they are 99, but few actually get to do so.

There is another factor as you get older. I have lost many friends and family over my lifetime. I still have many good relatives and friends around me, but the number is dwindling. You reach a point where you start to feel a bit of aloneness start to creep in.

Another factor is the distance you begin to feel between you and the popular culture. I recently started watch a young couple as the experienced the music of the 50's, 60's and 70's...and it was a bit jarring to hear them say things like "I think I've heard of the Rolling Stones(or Beatles, Led Zepplin, Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, Kinks, etc.) but I never heard their music".

It also seems like every other day some actor or artist of my era has died. Not to mention all of the babes of my youth are either very old or dead.

This life is just temporary for all of us, but I still have things to do.

 

[TarponSpringsNole]

Never. I’m petrified.


Wish I wasn’t.

 

[BrianNole777]

Turned 50 in August. I've lost 5 good friends in their 40's over the past 6 years. It really struck home for me. I have 3 school aged kids so that part scares me that they would be ok, but I think I'm good with god so I've got that going for me.

CSB 2 days after my birthday I was witness to a man beating the shit out of his GF in a parking lot of a park. I was about 100 yards away but I yelled at the top of my lungs and started sprinting towards them. He was body slamming her on the concrete, I kept yelling as I ran towards him and he looked at me then walked around to the passenger side of the car and reached under the seat.

I thought well this is how I go out. Some tweaker is going to blast me in front of my wife and kids. He ended up stuffing something in his pants and taking off.

Did you call 911?

What happened to the woman?

 

[Obviously Oblivious]

I haven't feared death since my late teen years, now my only concern regarding death is the people I will leave behind.

 

[NDallasRuss]

I haven't feared death since my late teen years, now my only concern regarding death is the people I will leave behind.

I think it's the same for me. I haven't been worried about dying for a long time. The "fear" or "regret" that I feel now is around the "when" of dying, and the things in my daughter's life that I'd miss. The older I get, and the older she gets, the more I'd love to be around to see her reach/achieve all these milestones.

 

[JupiterHawk]

 

[Hawkeyenuts66]

Living is fear of death is not living.

 

[BrianNole777]

Everything depends on life after death, in my judgment. If there's no life after death, life is pointless.

If there's a bad life after death, that's even worse. If there's a good life after death, that changes the calculation.

 

[Old_wrestling_fan]

Turned 50 in August. I've lost 5 good friends in their 40's over the past 6 years. It really struck home for me. I have 3 school aged kids so that part scares me that they would be ok, but I think I'm good with god so I've got that going for me.

...

Although I am older than you by about 10 years...very similarly, I too have lost too many friends and family members to not think about my own mortality too. (I spent probably the first 45 years or so not really ever thinking about it. I was just always in "full speed ahead" mode I guess.)

But once I could see that others around me were no longer there...yeah, I had to slow down and think about it too. After processing things...I just doubled down on being the best dad, husband, grandfather, boss, etc, etc, that I could and made sure that no matter when I go that others are taken care of, etc, in my absence.

I don't fear death...but I hope for many more good years to watch my kids and grandchildren...and go fishing more too.

 

[unsubstantiated]

Great tune. I'm 47 now. I fear a slow death (cancer, neurodegenerative disorder). If I walked out and got hit by bus it wouldn't bother me. I've had a good run. My kids are set up to be good people. All I ever cared about in life.

That being said, I haven't reached the time where it catches up- Health poor so you're in daily pain, can't do the things that brought you joy, and friends/loved ones gone. At that point I would welcome death.

This and this.

I’m not at all worried about death, it’s the lead-up to it that I fear. A plane going down, even that last second before a car crash or seeing that bus coming toward you. You know it’s coming and you know there is going to be pain, even if it is just a fraction of a second.

My Dad is in the stage you described above. Every day is painful. He can’t do even the simplest things he did back in the day. He is to that point, but doesn’t want to leave his wife. She is the only thing keeping him going.

 

[Mountain Man Hawk]

I don’t think about it much but if the thought ever passes my mind, my first thought is my elementary school aged kids. Once they are old enough to not need me anymore I would be a lot more at ease with the idea of dying.

 

[Mountain Man Hawk]

And here’s the song in case any of you were more interested about that:

View embedded media

BTW, I dig this song. I agree with your description that the dude has sort of a folk-Elvis vibe going on.

 

[Hawki97]

When my kids got old enough that they’d be ok without me and I got the mega life insurance policy.

 

[BrianNole777]

When my kids got old enough that they’d be ok without me and I got the mega life insurance policy.

You have kids?

How many?

 

[artradley]

I don’t think about it much but if the thought ever passes my mind, my first thought is my elementary school aged kids. Once they are old enough to not need me anymore I would be a lot more at ease with the idea of dying.

Yeah, when I was younger I feared death. Mainly, I simply had not come to terms with my mortality. As I got older I feared it less, until I had children. Now I’m 66 and my kids are grown, so I am at peace with my mortality again. Still, I would definitely prefer to stick around for some time!

 

[pink shizzle]

I guess I never started fearing death. Doesn't cross my mind often and when it does it's not a fear or worry thing.

 

[stillh8unlv]

Echo everyone's non-fear of the actual being dead part, just a fear of:

1. Not enough time to do and see all I want to
2. Kids (and Grandkids) not having their one stable parent/grandparent around - assuming I go before their mother.
3. No slow, painful death. I'm skydiving without a chute if that's the case

 

[hawkmart]

Great tune. I'm 47 now. I fear a slow death (cancer, neurodegenerative disorder). If I walked out and got hit by bus it wouldn't bother me. I've had a good run. My kids are set up to be good people. All I ever cared about in life.

That being said, I haven't reached the time where it catches up- Health poor so you're in daily pain, can't do the things that brought you joy, and friends/loved ones gone. At that point I would welcome death.

Yup exactly this. I'm 49 and if I go tomorrow, it's been a good run. We just became empty nesters in the past 3 years and have really started checking things off bucket lists. Same fear of a slow death and being a burden, keep joking with wife to think of a way to have me put down should that day ever come. She works with enough doctor's and nurses that could surely find a way

 

[SSG T]

Considering the times I've been in actual life/death situations and what was going through my head, that would be I haven't feared death. It is what it is.

Have a friend whose unarmored Humvee took an IED to the right front in Iraq. He drug himself, sans legs, out of it when it landed. I can honestly say I feared something like that far more than death.

 

[seminole97]

Everything depends on life after death, in my judgment. If there's no life after death, life is pointless.

Taylor Swift concert seems pointless to me, but I can tell those folks are having fun, and that to me is the point of our time through.

If there's a bad life after death, that's even worse. If there's a good life after death, that changes the calculation.

“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.”​

― Bill Hicks

 

[GOHOX69]

Death is part of life. Nothing to fear.

 

[desihawk]

most posters saying they have no fear of death are saying that as a result of having no worries (of say leaving behind struggling dependents) and/or no regrets (ie already had fantastic life experiences). but how is that sufficient to truly erase fear of death? as an analogy, a young ukranian does a great job in college (ie learns all kinds of shit, good grades etc) but upon graduating is ordered to report to bakhmut front line, how can he have no fear? his former experience has nothing to do with the latter, which he knows nothing about. it's a discontinuous leap. otoh, if he's truly prepped and trained and prepared for what bakhmut brings, i could see him having no fear.

 

[QChawks]

as a devote Christian I am ready to meet my maker whenever he comes calling for me

hopefully I get a few good years of retirement first though

 

[goldmom]

I'm 73. I guess it just started coming on gradually after my parents both passed. I no longer fear dying, but I do fear how I will die. Everybody wants to go painlessly in their sleep when they are 99, but few actually get to do so.

There is another factor as you get older. I have lost many friends and family over my lifetime. I still have many good relatives and friends around me, but the number is dwindling. You reach a point where you start to feel a bit of aloneness start to creep in.

Another factor is the distance you begin to feel between you and the popular culture. I recently started watch a young couple as the experienced the music of the 50's, 60's and 70's...and it was a bit jarring to hear them say things like "I think I've heard of the Rolling Stones(or Beatles, Led Zepplin, Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, Kinks, etc.) but I never heard their music".

It also seems like every other day some actor or artist of my era has died. Not to mention all of the babes of my youth are either very old or dead.

This life is just temporary for all of us, but I still have things to do.

I just turned 74 and I’m struck by the similarity of my feelings and yours.
It’s a realization that we’re in the 4th quarter and no one gets out alive.

 

[BrianNole777]

I just turned 74 and I’m struck by the similarity of my feelings and yours.
It’s a realization that we’re in the 4th quarter and no one gets out alive.

First, Happy Belated Birthday!

Second, what do you think will happen after you die?

 

[SoProudNole]

If there's no life after death, life is pointless.

I don't understand this point of view in the least.

 

[JWolf74]

I don't fear death. It's lights out. There is no heaven/hell. I fear leaving my kids and wife too early as the kids are still fairly young.

 

[h-hawk]

When trump got elected-take me now! What kind of F'd up world is this?!

 

[jonesy5960]

Lost my twin brother who was also my college roommate and my best friend at age 20. All I felt was pain and I would have traded places with him in a second. I guess that was it for me.