Ever had constipation and diarrhea at the same time? A thread.

[FAUlty Gator]

Chalk up another medical miracle for the big guy! What a wild ride!

Here’s how it goes:

You haven’t pooped for 4 days so the ones you have in the chamber are now gluey rocks.

You literally eat nothing but watermelon and coffee for 48 hours (only because you like it) and your entire body starts gurgling, warning you about the bumpy road ahead.

You hit the John and the aperture (the anus for you science people) opens, but not big amount for the rocks. But the coffee and watermelon sludge sitting behind the rocks MUST come out.

So now our ass hole becomes a sort of chocolate fountain, with the liquidy goodness spewing around the rocks and out of the periphery of the hole.

After about 18 minutes of hanging onto the towel rack and pushing, the sludge is out of you. But somehow, you’re still constipated because the rocks just aren’t ready. However, osmosis from the coffee and watermelon may have had a softening effect.

Didn’t even bother to wipe as that would have been a never ending chore. Yada yada yada, a detachable shower head and two thrown out wash rags later and I’m as good as new.

Stay tuned!

 

[bagdropper]

Kinda sounds like diverticulitis?

 

[Lindemann]

Hair balls.

 

[FAUlty Gator]

Kinda sounds like diverticulitis?

I thought of that but there’s no pain or blood or anything. Still could be it though I’m sure.

Just sent off my poop box. Wonder if that would pick up on anything.

 

[Hawki97]

Sounds like a fat guy problem.

 

[bagdropper]

I thought of that but there’s no pain or blood or anything. Still could be it though I’m sure.

Just sent off my poop box. Wonder if that would pick up on anything.

I never had blood in my stools with it. But the alternating BM's/content descriptions you gave read right out of something similar to my experience.

If your left abdomen gets sore with the other symptoms, that's also a pretty good sign. My first attack of this a few months back...VERY painful, and led to an emergency room visit and hospital stay. So...more exercise, more fiber in diet, stool softener med - those have helped, but I really have to watch what I eat even more than ever.

My best advice is do things that keep the plumbing flowing.

 

[seminoleed]

Chalk up another medical miracle for the big guy! What a wild ride!

Here’s how it goes:

You haven’t pooped for 4 days so the ones you have in the chamber are now gluey rocks.

You literally eat nothing but watermelon and coffee for 48 hours (only because you like it) and your entire body starts gurgling, warning you about the bumpy road ahead.

You hit the John and the aperture (the anus for you science people) opens, but not big amount for the rocks. But the coffee and watermelon sludge sitting behind the rocks MUST come out.

So now our ass hole becomes a sort of chocolate fountain, with the liquidy goodness spewing around the rocks and out of the periphery of the hole.

After about 18 minutes of hanging onto the towel rack and pushing, the sludge is out of you. But somehow, you’re still constipated because the rocks just aren’t ready. However, osmosis from the coffee and watermelon may have had a softening effect.

Didn’t even bother to wipe as that would have been a never ending chore. Yada yada yada, a detachable shower head and two thrown out wash rags later and I’m as good as new.

Stay tuned!

Dude! I'd say that was a classic definition of TMI right there!

 

[TJ8869]

This might help limber up the aperture enough to let the big rocks out.

 

[HawkBall23]

 

[win4jj]

What you described isn’t normal? Well I’ll be damned.

 

[Tenacious E]

Chalk up another medical miracle for the big guy! What a wild ride!

Here’s how it goes:

You haven’t pooped for 4 days so the ones you have in the chamber are now gluey rocks.

You literally eat nothing but watermelon and coffee for 48 hours (only because you like it) and your entire body starts gurgling, warning you about the bumpy road ahead.

You hit the John and the aperture (the anus for you science people) opens, but not big amount for the rocks. But the coffee and watermelon sludge sitting behind the rocks MUST come out.

So now our ass hole becomes a sort of chocolate fountain, with the liquidy goodness spewing around the rocks and out of the periphery of the hole.

After about 18 minutes of hanging onto the towel rack and pushing, the sludge is out of you. But somehow, you’re still constipated because the rocks just aren’t ready. However, osmosis from the coffee and watermelon may have had a softening effect.

Didn’t even bother to wipe as that would have been a never ending chore. Yada yada yada, a detachable shower head and two thrown out wash rags later and I’m as good as new.

Stay tuned!

Did this happen at a Ryan’s steakhouse?

 

[Jerome Silberman]

 

[Hans81]

Chalk up another medical miracle for the big guy! What a wild ride!

Here’s how it goes:

You haven’t pooped for 4 days so the ones you have in the chamber are now gluey rocks.

You literally eat nothing but watermelon and coffee for 48 hours (only because you like it) and your entire body starts gurgling, warning you about the bumpy road ahead.

You hit the John and the aperture (the anus for you science people) opens, but not big amount for the rocks. But the coffee and watermelon sludge sitting behind the rocks MUST come out.

So now our ass hole becomes a sort of chocolate fountain, with the liquidy goodness spewing around the rocks and out of the periphery of the hole.

After about 18 minutes of hanging onto the towel rack and pushing, the sludge is out of you. But somehow, you’re still constipated because the rocks just aren’t ready. However, osmosis from the coffee and watermelon may have had a softening effect.

Didn’t even bother to wipe as that would have been a never ending chore. Yada yada yada, a detachable shower head and two thrown out wash rags later and I’m as good as new.

Stay tuned!

This is what happens to Kamala supporters. 😉

 

[Randon]

In medical terms this condition is known as "constirrhea." It's very common in goats under 27 months old!

 

[Scott559]

Miracle cure

 

[fredjr82]

I'm thinking about pulling the trigger on a Squatty Potty. Anyone got one?