Dealing with a narcissist is trying. Best to greyrock them if they are in your family.
Ferrari clan
- Thread starter iowahawkschamps111
- Start date
I guess that depends on who is doing the Labeling and who is in for guidance and direction.
Lots of people here want throw stones, maybe look at your own past or if you were a perfect teenager/20something then possibly someone close to you.
I personally can admit that I did some stupid things when I was in school and early twenties, with that said.
How about we keep our trust in our staff and school itself!
I would say that It's impossible. I had huge one in my family and have dealt with several professionally over the years. They're devious, manipulative and completely untrustworthy. If they think that you are trying to change them, they will shut you down. It's impossible to have a normal relationship with them and they will screw you over without hesitation anytime it serves their purpose.
The only thing you can do is learn to identify them and try to avoid them...if you can.
while i think it is fantastic that she is doing well, the highlighed part confuses me a bit.
I never heard of the term "grey rock." Thanks. Just looked it up.
"For example, using the grey rock method involves deliberate actions like avoiding eye contact or not showing emotions during a conversation."
Maybe this explains why I rarely look at someone during a confrontational discussion. Pretty much raised by an undiagnosed toxic narcissist, God rest his soul, so I could still be a bit gun shy. I could've developed the technique through trial and error.
Most times I don't even look directly at my screen when I type on the wrestling boards!!! 😉
One of my friends son in high school was down with the wrestling team on a visit and was locked in a closet with another wrestler and forced to drink a bottle of liquor to get out.
Yeah, just cut off their supply. They will find someone else who wants to play their games. As always, watch your back. Very vengeful.
I think Chittum is the only person who would do something as drastic as leaving over them. Others in the room may not like them (or some subset of them), but Chittum specifically has a history of conflict with them/Anthony dating back to Blair that is very concerning. I can understand why he would want to remove himself from them.
I would not be surprised if we lose these guys to VA tech, the amount of estrogen coming from this board lately is disturbing.
I developed people pleasing behaviors (fawning) to avoid abuse. I’m all about gray rocking now.
Thank you, I'm so happy that they patched it up so we could have a good relationship with her now. She had a baby girl last Friday and everyone couldn't be happier.
The nature of my life allows me to avoid toxic people overall. I have a fairly large social circle with a bunch decent people in it, but a there's group of friends and relatives that I spend most of my time around.
Maybe we're eating too much soy!!!
Respectfully disagree Grip.
There's nothing weak or effeminate about wanting to avoid individuals of questionable character.
I'm amazed that you may think over the years there hasn't been a number of real douchebags with sketchy pasts on the roster. Most every team and sport that involves a level of physicality and "violence" as a means of success has them. Until they receive a sentence through a court of law and not the court of opinion, I'll reserve too much judgement.
Agree we have our own opinions. Neither you nor I can control what happens … so is it worth it to exert your mental energy on something you CAN’T control? I say let’s give them a fair shake and if they wear the black and gold all the power to them to be good representatives of the school on and off the mat.
Hahaha, agree. We have many amateur psychologists making serious diagnosis without ever meeting them and working them up. Some are even calling them psychopaths, which is the extreme end of narcissistic personality, which gives us serial killers. Maybe they are just cocky Jersey boy type Italian kids who got In minor trouble, maybe more with AJ, but we shall see. We are not marrying these guy, just wrestling for us for 3-4 years.
Honest question and hope to not be called out as 'anti mental illness.'
Do any of you feel all of the attention to mental 'illness' has brought some bad along with the good? The good being raising awareness and getting help to those in need, possibly without realizing it. The bad being it is an easy thing for people to cast blame on and seek medication/help.
I think it's great it has been a topic of importance since it has been ignored for so long. I also can't help but think there are many cases where 'mental illness' is attached to someone/something when pushing through and dealing with adversity would have sufficed. I guess I just see kids who have so much trouble dealing with tough times and it makes me wonder.
Do any of you feel all of the attention to mental 'illness' has brought some bad along with the good? The good being raising awareness and getting help to those in need, possibly without realizing it. The bad being it is an easy thing for people to cast blame on and seek medication/help.
I think it's great it has been a topic of importance since it has been ignored for so long. I also can't help but think there are many cases where 'mental illness' is attached to someone/something when pushing through and dealing with adversity would have sufficed. I guess I just see kids who have so much trouble dealing with tough times and it makes me wonder.
Doing stupid things due to impulsiveness or lack of experience is different than what many of us have dealt with.
One example of doing stupid stuff as a kid is my friend's son. The kid couldn't quite get together with what he wanted to do in his life, he just wanted to hunt and hang out with his buddies.
Mom and dad got on him pretty much because he seem to Slack around the house, and give them an attitude. However, when he worked with his grandfather or myself, he was the best kid. He'd work hard , he get it done and it was pretty smart.
He just didn't want to be told what to do. When hockey came to an end, (he was very skilled teenage player), but not quite enough for a full scholarship, he had to think of something to do. He decided on Lineman school..
The work requires a certain degree of athleticism, and he took to it immediately. He graduated from the program and won the award for best attitude. His family was shocked at this, but it didn't surprise me much.
Now his dumb stuff was minor dumb stuff, not criminal stuff. He just needed some guidance and direction.
Edit, I really need to be careful with voice texting
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There is no we. You think you can log on to a message board and tell strangers who they can trust? AJ isn't the only narcissist.
I'm not naive. I really like T and T. Because of that, I honestly hope that the Ferraris straighten up, fly right and don't cause any problems. Based on the history of the family, I'm not optimistic. But time will tell.
Who ever said at about AJ, I Cleary stated support for the two younger brothers. Guess I struck a nerve
I trust the fact the TNT will make the proper decisions. Nobody here knows them personally and I do believe the staff and teammates will do everything they can to keep them on the right track if they get accepted.
Hey if them not coming to Iowa helps us win national championships instead of Penn State, then so be it........
If these guys are making college decisions based on message boards, then they aren't as smart as I've been giving them credit for.
(Hint: They aren't.)
I hope it works out. I truly do because I really like T and T. They are good and genuine people in an environment filled with grifters and hypocrites.
When we won the title two years ago (and had the best team the year before) all any of us talked about were how great the guys on the team were, how much better our culture had gotten from the "darker days" and how this was our model going forward. Now we're speeding toward Ferrariville.
Anthony Ferrari seems as different from Michael Kemerer as anyone I can imagine.
Seems they got tired of trying to be the hero that dethroned Penn State, and now believe that becoming an even bigger villain than them is the way to go if we wanna truly end their reign of terror!!
And you ain’t been throwing much credit their way, either. So, maybe you’re the problem? Lol
PS It’s a joke, folks..
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The fact that you cannot comprehend that social media plays a roll makes it seem that what credit you give is absolutely irrelevant.
You get that Hint.
I stand by what I said. And if it's some huge factor...in this case...good. But I'd think the number of blind faith bootlickers would tilt the scales in our direction.
Just hope they aren't smart enough to search for 2 or so year old messages, tweets, etc.
Yet Tom specifically has pointed to a focus on targeting high character guys in our recruiting the past handful of years and that being what's landed us some big recruits. We nearly lost Kem after his visit because he wasn't impressed with the "douchebags" around the team at the time.
You beat me to it.
