Hawkeye Haiku Contest - What's Your Best One?

[SanMateoHawk]

The University is running a Hawkeye haiku contest: https://www.foriowa.org/write-now/

The haikus don't need to be about anything Hawkeye-related, but I thought it would be fun to come up with a few Hawkeye football haikus, for example:

We're Last in Offense
But First in Nepotism
Oh Well, That's Football

I Miss Nate Stanley
Petras Misses Many Throws
We'll Miss the Bowl Game

We Won 10 Last Year
I'm Not Sure If You Knew That
So Get Off My Back

Alex Padilla
Let's Try Alex Padilla
Alex Padilla

Who else has some good ones?

 

[LuciousBDragon]

Kirk’s old boss Hayden
Told Bo not punting today
Punting is winning

Receivers have fled
O-Line always shits the bed
I feel bad for Spence

Just create a hole
Running backs can do the rest
Sack, loss of five yards

A wet paper bag
A really wet paper bag
Offense stuck in this

 

[Gonzo Bloor]

We love ebbs and flows
Ebbs and flows and ebbs and flows
Because that's football


We'll just clean things up
Try to get better each week
Spencer's our best chance


I'll start who I want
Don't like it? Suck a phat one
Because I'm the coach


There'll be ups and downs
I've confidence in Brian
Two thousand fifteen

 

[shrinkhawk]

Iowa known for its

Developmental program.

Yet QBs regress.

 

[Hawk-A-Doodle-Doo]

We are relevant
For all of the wrong reasons
And f*** Wisconsin

 

[Hawk-A-Doodle-Doo]

Does anyone have
OP's mom's address and phone
Asking for a friend

 

[MadDogC]

(Not mine but here goes)


I had your back Coach

I was an apologist

Now I'm just sorry

 

[Hawkfan_08]

Someone needs to let Fritzy of the DP show know this.

 

[DougFHawkeye]

We are relevant
For all of the wrong reasons
And f*** Wisconsin

Someone hacked an Evil Monkeys account

 

[spiderland]

That one old picture
The one of Hayden Fry’s staff
They’ve stopped showing it

 

[spiderland]

Pick up more Wrigley’s
Ask Mary steamed or fried rice
Try blue ink next week

 

[lettheparamedicssortemout]

haikus be boring
but compared to our offense
they da greatest show

 

[spiderland]

Watch the ball sail high
Watch the ball bounce three yards short
Go get ‘em Tory

 

[Crazy Hawk]

Hawks used to be tough
Hawks used to be the bullies
Go to hell Brian

 

[Thunderlips71]

Offense is awful
Smells like rank bowel movement
Nepotism bad

 

[93hawkeye]

Football be like Life
Win or lose or get laughed at
Pain, joy then more pain

 

[grayhair81]

8 mil dad and son
Can't buy offense but lots of
Brylcreem, notepads, gum.

 

[shrinkhawk]

Dad got me this job.
I worked with Bill Belichick.
Don't be a hater.

 

[hawkisak]

cats in the cradle
silver spoon little boy Brian
and no offense soon

 

[SanMateoHawk]

cats in the cradle
silver spoon little boy Brian
and no offense soon

I think you should get bonus points for rhyming!

 

[BC Hawk]

Punt punt punt punt punt
Punt punt punt punt punt punt punt
Punt punt punt punt punt

 

[Hawk-A-Doodle-Doo]

What kind of ice cream?
What kind of football offense?
Vanilla of course!

 

[shrinkhawk]

Thanks for breakfast Kirk.
Courtyard Marriott is nice.
What?...I'm too sexy?

Any new ones to recap events of the last year or so?
(Format: 1st line 5 syllables, 2nd line 7 syllables, 3rd line 5 syllables)

 

[the notorious r.d.m.]

It's a team effort
Need to execute better
It's complicated

 

[hawkdave007]

No twenty five per
Beth did what Gary couldn't
Welcome to Tim L.

 

[eyesofhawk]

Iowa football
Respectable as it gets
Wins a lot of games

Over twenty years
Iowa football has won
Still fans have no clue

Iowa will lose
The offense can't score enough
Yet they win again

Now the fans will say
But that opponent was bad
Say that before game

Got lucky again
Yet eyesofhawk cashed again
On the money line

Open your eyes fans
Predictable formula
Predictable wins

Punting IS winning
That's why it is called "foot"ball
Funny how that works

Always defense first
That's how you control a game
Quite predictable

Physicality
Teammates that never give up
A beautiful thing

Fans are annoying
This team deserves some credit
But fans are clueless

Devotion to state
Win another two decades
Fans will still complain

I'll still love you Hawks
Respectable as it gets
Iowa football

 

[eyesofhawk]

The University is running a Hawkeye haiku contest: https://www.foriowa.org/write-now/

The haikus don't need to be about anything Hawkeye-related, but I thought it would be fun to come up with a few Hawkeye football haikus, for example:

We're Last in Offense
But First in Nepotism
Oh Well, That's Football

I Miss Nate Stanley
Petras Misses Many Throws
We'll Miss the Bowl Game

We Won 10 Last Year
I'm Not Sure If You Knew That
So Get Off My Back

Alex Padilla
Let's Try Alex Padilla
Alex Padilla

Who else has some good ones?

This one sure didn't age well

 

[desihawk]

unsexy iowa
impotent so cannot score
but still many wins

 

[nck24]

The University is running a Hawkeye haiku contest: https://www.foriowa.org/write-now/

The haikus don't need to be about anything Hawkeye-related, but I thought it would be fun to come up with a few Hawkeye football haikus, for example:

We're Last in Offense
But First in Nepotism
Oh Well, That's Football

I Miss Nate Stanley
Petras Misses Many Throws
We'll Miss the Bowl Game

We Won 10 Last Year
I'm Not Sure If You Knew That
So Get Off My Back

Alex Padilla
Let's Try Alex Padilla
Alex Padilla

Who else has some good ones?

The first down pass fails
Must run it on second down
Ev'ry single time.

Throw to the Tight End
Throw to the Tight End Again
No other can catch.

 

[Hawk-A-Doodle-Doo]

New receivers coach
Is a gift straight from Heaven
Fall's gonna be hell

 

[shrinkhawk]

QB Deacon Hill
We stole him from Fordham U.
Thank you Jon Budmayr?

 

[TailgateTom]

Lester and Jon Bud
Is this really our best chance?
Shoot me in the head.

 

[Tenacious E]

Hawk Cooper DeJean
Will he become a Lion?
Jack and Sam hope so.

 

[Tenacious E]

QB Deacon Hill
Did you have noodz of Ferentz?
Lainez wants to know

​

 

[LarryMullenJr.]

As a little boy
We scored a bundle of points
I just can't watch this

 

[nck24]

The University is running a Hawkeye haiku contest: https://www.foriowa.org/write-now/

The haikus don't need to be about anything Hawkeye-related, but I thought it would be fun to come up with a few Hawkeye football haikus, for example:

We're Last in Offense
But First in Nepotism
Oh Well, That's Football

I Miss Nate Stanley
Petras Misses Many Throws
We'll Miss the Bowl Game

We Won 10 Last Year
I'm Not Sure If You Knew That
So Get Off My Back

Alex Padilla
Let's Try Alex Padilla
Alex Padilla

Who else has some good ones?

Crazy win record
Scoring 30 points per game
Lets just score thirteen.

 

[LuciousBDragon]

Post-game interview
Need to clean up a few things
But not Deacon’s plate

 

[MeetTheFerentzes]

New Big Ten is tough
Great modern playoff system
Anyone tell Kirk?

 

[CRWash63]

Kadyn what is next
Spring practice and on to fall
success is assured