How do you deal with radical and politically extreme friends and family members?

[BrianNole777]

Have any of you encountered this situation? How did you deal?

We live in an age of political extremism on the right wing. Politics is the new religion and many Americans are very devout.

I had an old acquaintance from high school that moved from California to Idaho. We kept in touch via email. Over the last few years, his emails got more and more extreme. This past spring, he was emailing me about how Biden sexually abused his daughter so I emailed my friend stating I think it would be better if we stopped communicating and we haven't spoken with each other since.

My younger brother has also become very extreme and right wing the past 3 years. It's so strange because he never was interested in politics and all of a sudden became MAGA at age 35, although he's not a huge fan of Trump. Two years ago, he sent a group text about how there was vast voter fraud in the 2020 election and I got in a 2 hour debate showing the 60 lawsuits that failed to show voter fraud. It didn't convince him.

This morning, he was sending texts to family with walls of text about how Biden is a "pedophile communist" and the USA is "over."

Total madness.

I learned a year ago that arguing is pointless and I can't change anyone's mind about anything.

So, I basically think I can only "tolerate" or "detach" from extreme friends and family members. I don't know what else to do.

What about you?

 

[Whiskeydeltadeltatango]

Be a man and tell them to knock it the **** off.

 

[binsfeldcyhawk2]

Ummm…just role your eyes and move on. Not hard….

 

[unsubstantiated]

I’ve done it. Luckily, no close family members have gone off the deep end.

I walked away from a 50 year friendship. We agreed on Clinton, Bush Jr., and Obama, for sure, then, he went off the rails.

 

[BrianNole777]

Be a man and tell them to knock it the **** off.

It doesn't work.

It just devolves into debates.

 

[BrianNole777]

Ummm…just role your eyes and move on. Not hard….

What do you mean by "move on?"

 

[binsfeldcyhawk2]

What do you mean by "move on?"

From the conversation.

 

[Whiskeydeltadeltatango]

It doesn't work.

It just devolves into debates.

Don't engage.

 

[NorthernHawkeye]

Have any of you encountered this situation? How did you deal?

We live in an age of political extremism on the right wing. Politics is the new religion and many Americans are very devout.

Apparently lacking awareness isn’t your strong suit. They're nuts on both sides.

 

[BrianNole777]

Don't engage.

Yep.

 

[Scruddy]

I’ve done it. Luckily, no close family members have gone off the deep end.

I walked away from a 50 year friendship. We agreed on Clinton, Bush Jr., and Obama, for sure, then, he went off the rails.

I think you may want to look in a mirror as far as the rails are concerned.

Seriously, it's not that hard to talk about anything other than politics IRL

 

[unsubstantiated]

I think you may want to look in a mirror as far as the rails are concerned.

Seriously, it's not that hard to talk about anything other than politics IRL

Their slant on politics taints everything else. I no longer trust his judgement. I no longer feel like he is the generous and compassionate man that I knew previously.

 

[Scruddy]

Their slant on politics taints everything else. I no longer trust his judgement. I no longer feel like he is the generous and compassionate man that I knew previously.

Based on a high number of your posts here I'd argue that you're probably not the generous or compassionate person he thought you were either. Sword cuts both ways, but I don't know the guy so I'm not going out of my way to defend him. Just imagine this may be a pot and kettle moment.

 

[Tom Paris]

Apparently lacking awareness isn’t your strong suit. They're nuts on both sides.

Yep the far left, which makes up about 5% of the party, are nuts. YOUR party has more loons, including yourself, and that number expands by the week. You're most definitely part of the far right "nuts".

 

[Funky Bunch]

Ummm…just role your eyes and move on. Not hard….

 

[NorthernHawkeye]

Yep the far left, which makes up about 5% of the party, are nuts. YOUR party has more loons, including yourself, and that number expands by the week. You're most definitely part of the far right "nuts".

How did you quantify the 5%?

 

[What Would Jesus Do?]

Have any of you encountered this situation? How did you deal?

We live in an age of political extremism on the right wing. Politics is the new religion and many Americans are very devout.

I had an old acquaintance from high school that moved from California to Idaho. We kept in touch via email. Over the last few years, his emails got more and more extreme. This past spring, he was emailing me about how Biden sexually abused his daughter so I emailed my friend stating I think it would be better if we stopped communicating and we haven't spoken with each other since.

My younger brother has also become very extreme and right wing the past 3 years. It's so strange because he never was interested in politics and all of a sudden became MAGA at age 35, although he's not a huge fan of Trump. Two years ago, he sent a group text about how there was vast voter fraud in the 2020 election and I got in a 2 hour debate showing the 60 lawsuits that failed to show voter fraud. It didn't convince him.

This morning, he was sending texts to family with walls of text about how Biden is a "pedophile communist" and the USA is "over."

Total madness.

I learned a year ago that arguing is pointless and I can't change anyone's mind about anything.

So, I basically think I can only "tolerate" or "detach" from extreme friends and family members. I don't know what else to do.

What about you?

I suggest that you each read a book of the other's choosing, that you each think is a convincing presentation of your position. Could be on a specific topic (immigration, politics, climate change, economics or whatever).

And then each of you has to promise to read a meaningful chunk, keeping your mind as open as possible. Maybe a 50 page minimum.

The idea is that each of you will figure the other guy will either be persuaded, or at least start to question.

Might not happen, but if you each honor the 50-pages-with-open-mind agreement, at least you might have a better feel for where the other is coming from, and may see other ways to bridge the divide.

For example, if I could get a climate denier to read one of many books on climate change, I might choose The Uninhabitable Earth by David Wallace-Wells.

 

[BC Hawk]

The leftists won't let you get a word in, so I usually politely just sneak out of the situation. I just use big words with the righties and they can't keep up, so they usually change the subject.

 

[What Would Jesus Do?]

Yep the far left, which makes up about 5% of the party, are nuts.

I always worry when reasonable liberals make concessions like this. Who are you thinking of? And given that you can find some loonies in both parties, what makes the ones you are thinking about "far left"?

I ask this because I'm used to people applying the "far left" and "extremist" labels to those of us who favor Medicare for All, or think that Climate Change is a genuine crisis. Whereas to me, those positions are simply good policy and sensible science.

What do you mean by the "far left" who "are nuts"?

 

[TC Nole OX]

Apparently lacking awareness isn’t your strong suit. They're nuts on both sides.

bOTh siDeS

 

[unsubstantiated]

Based on a high number of your posts here I'd argue that you're probably not the generous or compassionate person he thought you were either. Sword cuts both ways, but I don't know the guy so I'm not going out of my way to defend him. Just imagine this may be a pot and kettle moment.

Ummmmm…. He’s the one who wants to shoot Mexicans, not me.

Lol, he’s also a hypocrite. He aborted his second child because it tested positive for Downs Syndrome.

 

[runkpanole]

Like any good Irish man, I grab a couple of drinks and we tell each other to GFY and then have another drink together.

 

[Derekd3408]

Wouldn't know, I don't live in a trash family.

 

[NorthernHawkeye]

bOTh siDeS

View embedded media

Exhibit A of a leftwing nutter.

 

[hawkdave007]

I usually go with "respectful disengagement".

My family all visited my house for Easter this year. When my siblings left, my parents had stayed afterwards to spend the night. My mom, who is a conservative battle axe, started in on trans-women athletes over evening coffee. I politely said that we just finished a nice family Easter Sunday together, and please no politics. She kept going and I said "no, please, no". She stopped but was very upset and went upstairs to our guest room to sulk. She got over it, and I'm glad I put a stop to it.

Note, your polite requests for disengagement may not always be well-received.

 

[unsubstantiated]

Wouldn't know, I don't live in a trash family.

I don’t have trash in my immediate family, but Aunts, uncles, cousins? Dozens.

Also , I live in rural Iowa. I’m surrounded by trash, politically.

 

[What Would Jesus Do?]

Exhibit A of a leftwing nutter.

What do you object to in that depiction? Serious question.

 

[NorthernHawkeye]

What do you object to in that depiction? Serious question.

Attributing the KKK to the conservative side.

 

[fsu1jreed]

Attributing the KKK to the conservative side.

They are NOW

 

[billanole]

How d

Have any of you encountered this situation? How did you deal?

We live in an age of political extremism on the right wing. Politics is the new religion and many Americans are very devout.

I had an old acquaintance from high school that moved from California to Idaho. We kept in touch via email. Over the last few years, his emails got more and more extreme. This past spring, he was emailing me about how Biden sexually abused his daughter so I emailed my friend stating I think it would be better if we stopped communicating and we haven't spoken with each other since.

My younger brother has also become very extreme and right wing the past 3 years. It's so strange because he never was interested in politics and all of a sudden became MAGA at age 35, although he's not a huge fan of Trump. Two years ago, he sent a group text about how there was vast voter fraud in the 2020 election and I got in a 2 hour debate showing the 60 lawsuits that failed to show voter fraud. It didn't convince him.

This morning, he was sending texts to family with walls of text about how Biden is a "pedophile communist" and the USA is "over."

Total madness.

I learned a year ago that arguing is pointless and I can't change anyone's mind about anything.

So, I basically think I can only "tolerate" or "detach" from extreme friends and family members. I don't know what else to do.

What about you?

How do I deal with them? Talk about friend and family stuff.

 

[Scruddy]

Ummmmm…. He’s the one who wants to shoot Mexicans, not me.

Lol, he’s also a hypocrite. He aborted his second child because it tested positive for Downs Syndrome.

What do you mean he wants to shoot Mexicans? Does he want our southern border defended at gun point from illegal migrants because that's something else entirely from what you framed it as if so.

As for aborting a child with downs it is very sad, but I am pro choice in this matter. I think it's important to state how sad of an action it is but sometimes it makes sense based on the situation of the living. I imagine there are a massive number of hypocrites out there who would denounce this until they were in the position to make that choice.

They are NOW

But the most prominent white supremacist in the US endorsed joe biden? The nazis in Florida are vocally pro biden. I think you're confused, comrade.

 

[fsu1jreed]

But the most prominent white supremacist in the US endorsed joe biden? The nazis in Florida are vocally pro biden. I think you're confused, comrade.

Then why are they flying DeSantis and Trump flags?

 

[bhawk24bob]

You don’t have to see or associate with them just because they’re family. A good chunk of my family went off on immigrants around 5 years ago, not connecting the dots that my wife is an immigrant. I got up, grabbed the kids, and never spoke to them again. Their loss

 

[HawkeyeHitman]

If a family member is a supporter of Bernie Sanders or The Squad I will cut them out of my life.

 

[BrianNole777]

You don’t have to see or associate with them just because they’re family. A good chunk of my family went off on immigrants around 5 years ago, not connecting the dots that my wife is an immigrant. I got up, grabbed the kids, and never spoke to them again. Their loss

That reaction seems a bit extreme, IMHO.

How were your family relationships before that?

 

[runkpanole]

If a family member is a supporter of Bernie Sanders or The Squad I will cut them out of my life.

And everybody in his family suddenly started supporting Bernie.

 

[bhawk24bob]

That reaction seems a bit extreme, IMHO.

How were your family relationships before that?

I don't think it's extreme when you start associating immigrants with disease, crime, etc. They certainly never associated immigrants with that when their kids opened the birthday and Christmas gifts that we gave or sent.

Our relationships were fine, they just lost their minds when Trump got in office - strange one on one comments like are you with us? and turning their garages into shrines to Trump. I'm not the kind of person that's going to talk politics with family but it was relentless

 

[Bro D]

Have thicker skin

 

[unsubstantiated]

What do you mean he wants to shoot Mexicans? Does he want our southern border defended at gun point from illegal migrants because that's something else entirely from what you framed it as if so.

As for aborting a child with downs it is very sad, but I am pro choice in this matter. I think it's important to state how sad of an action it is but sometimes it makes sense based on the situation of the living. I imagine there are a massive number of hypocrites out there who would denounce this until they were in the position to make that choice.

But the most prominent white supremacist in the US endorsed joe biden? The nazis in Florida are vocally pro biden. I think you're confused, comrade.

Lol, he wants a wall and whatever number of troops it takes to kill anyone who may dare to try to breach it.

He believes that undocumented people should be deported, and if they try to come back a second time, they should be executed. He also believes that If an accident happens involving an undocumented person, the other party is automatically free of any accountability or blame. Even police shootings.

He aborted his child because he didn’t want to face a lifetime of inconvenience and responsibility. Her life was not in danger. Now he votes for and verbally promotes politicians that would deny them that right, even if she were on the hospital bed, dying.

 

[jamesvanderwulf]

bOTh siDeS

View embedded media

Hey, today's KKK is nothing like the one you father grew up with. We've got midnight basketball, bake sales on Friday, Sunday pancake breakfasts, using only Mrs. Butterworth's, no aunt Jemima, ( or should we be serving aunt Jemima, I'm not sure ), we have our annual Koats for Kids drive coming up, smores for the kids at every cross burning, very inclusive...