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Kids - sorry it isn’t a political thread

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Brian_Fantana

HR All-American
Feb 9, 2006
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No aids and no pics of wife. Sort of a vent.


So, the wife and I have been trying for a little sucker for a year now. Anyone else have issues trying? It’s fun as shit for me; but honestly we are getting a little concerned. Went and beat off in a cup a couple times and apparently the boys and gals are swimming. Lovely wife had some low counts on things and is taking some pills to hopefully help make things happen. Honestly starting to concern me that we can’t for one reason or another. Her sister is an OBGYN in DM so giving her all the timing tips and whatnot.
Anyway
. Just venting. I know it doesn’t fit the political narrative of the board but just wanted to vent. For what it’s worth, she is 100% Biden and left whereas I’m more “Trump Sucks” but lean right. I know that is probably the problem for you idiots that make this political
 
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NKSHawk said:
4 years and $20k later our first IVF baby is on the way in a few months. It’s tough, feel for ya. Talking with some others it’s way more common than many people think.
Click to expand...
Congrats man. Seriously. Congrats.

We have some friends that went through the IV. Respect the shit out of it; but she isn’t sure she wants any part of that. Not so much cause of the cost; more so because she watched them go through a few failures.
 
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lucas80 said:
You know that it isn’t the butt you put it in, right?
Also, I’m before any of the other fathers here offers to step in with their good sperm.
Also, good luck. Parenthood is a ride.
Click to expand...
Fair point on the latter! On the former; trust me, if it slips out and almost in, I am told
 
Brian_Fantana said:
Congrats man. Seriously. Congrats.

We have some friends that went through the IV. Respect the shit out of it; but she isn’t sure she wants any part of that. Not so much cause of the cost; more so because she watched them go through a few failures.
Click to expand...
Thank you! It’s a process but the clinic did a great job of explaining how it would greatly improve the odds. It’s definitely a big commitment but wouldn't hesitate to recommend it if everything else has been tried.
 
I've been more about preventing them than gaining them, but from my personal experience having a fair amount of friends, plus a sister and a sister-in-law all desperate for kids, what I've seen is that once you give up trying to have them and just relax and have sex normally.....that's when the babies come. Both my sister and sister-in-law had surgeries to try to help, plus both had some tissue masses implanted which failed. Both my sister and SIL ended up giving up after a couple of years and then tried to adopt. All without success. Then boom....magically, my sister has healthy baby boy and my SIL has healthy male twins essentially out of the blue. There's similar stories with a couple of my wife's friends. One had FAR more surgeries and failed implants than that and was 44 o5 45 when she stopped trying....and blammo....kid. Another one of my wife's friends was younger as she was only 33 when she had her FIRST miracle baby....but due to cancer she only had one half of one ovary and half of a uterus. She was told that she would never have kids, but now she's literally pregnant with her FOURTH kid. I had a friend who was 46 or 47, I believe..something roughly around that as she was older than my wife's friend by a couple of years, and she also had a kid late in life and after she and her husband had officially stopped trying after two years of dedicated "work". There really seems to be something about the stress of "trying to have a kid" that seems to stop it from happening. Once they give up and just let nature take its course....blammo...kids.

I only know one couple that tried to have kids via surgery and implants and after giving up tried adoption and then they literally got their infant within two months of applying. I don't mean they started the adoption process in two months, I mean like literally one day later they were notified of a potential mother eight months pregnant and then blammo.....two months later they have a cute adopted infant. And who knows, maybe they'll have a natural kid at some point now that the stress is off them.
 
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Brian_Fantana said:
No aids and no pics of wife. Sort of a vent.


So, the wife and I have been trying for a little sucker for a year now. Anyone else have issues trying? It’s fun as shit for me; but honestly we are getting a little concerned. Went and beat off in a cup a couple times and apparently the boys and gals are swimming. Lovely wife had some low counts on things and is taking some pills to hopefully help make things happen. Honestly starting to concern me that we can’t for one reason or another. Her sister is an OBGYN in DM so giving her all the timing tips and whatnot.
Anyway
. Just venting. I know it doesn’t fit the political narrative of the board but just wanted to vent. For what it’s worth, she is 100% Biden and left whereas I’m more “Trump Sucks” but lean right. I know that is probably the problem for you idiots that make this political
Click to expand...
Just keep at it. When we first tried (2001), she got knocked up quickly, but miscarried around 8 weeks. We took a break and then got back to it and it took FOREVER. By spring/summer of 2002, it was really rough on her psyche. We both got checked out and, like you, mine were swimming and she had some minor, manageable issues. We ultimately tried some insemination. Not sure what finally took, but she got pregnant and we had our oldest in Dec. 2003. She did have one other miscarriage, but now we have very healthy 17, 14 and 10 yo boys.

As with so many other areas of life, stress is not your friend. When we did insemination, the doc told us to also go have some fun that night so that we’d never know if it happened naturally or not.
 
Thanks all. Easy for me to say as I am admittedly laid back about it, maybe too much. I al 40 (took me a while to grow up enough to think I am ready for children) and she is 35 so may be part of the issue. I am all for just banging every night! Also understand her checking to see when “it’s time” based off some shit she checks. It’s just a bit odd that one of my older brothers can fall on someone and she’s pregnant. Other brother and wife had to go though IV. They did end up having a beautiful son and daughter though, so zero regrets

again - just venting here as I don’t believe my wife reads this board. Unless of course she is Chis
 
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Brian_Fantana said:
Thanks all. Easy for me to say as I am admittedly laid back about it, maybe too much. I al 40 (took me a while to grow up enough to think I am ready for children) and she is 35 so may be part of the issue. I am all for just banging every night! Also understand her checking to see when “it’s time” based off some shit she checks. It’s just a bit odd that one of my older brothers can fall on someone and she’s pregnant. Other brother and wife had to go though IV. They did end up having a beautiful son and daughter though, so zero regrets

again - just venting here as I don’t believe my wife reads this board. Unless of course she is Chis
Click to expand...
Chis is a defender of the Republic. Best wishes as I've been blessed to be a Dad the last 14 years.
 
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Before we had kids I talked to a bunch of people (probably some that weren’t appropriate to ask) and every one of them had a story like this (either struggled to have a kid or were currently struggling). I was a little on the fence, but figured we should start trying if it was going to take a year….

But god damnit both freaking kids happened in the first month. The 2nd was actually only 1 time (long story). One time!!!!

But that’s not the point. It’s really common was all I was saying….
 
Brian_Fantana said:
Thanks all. Easy for me to say as I am admittedly laid back about it, maybe too much. I al 40 (took me a while to grow up enough to think I am ready for children) and she is 35 so may be part of the issue. I am all for just banging every night! Also understand her checking to see when “it’s time” based off some shit she checks. It’s just a bit odd that one of my older brothers can fall on someone and she’s pregnant. Other brother and wife had to go though IV. They did end up having a beautiful son and daughter though, so zero regrets

again - just venting here as I don’t believe my wife reads this board. Unless of course she is Chis
Click to expand...
What happens if you sire a Chis?
 
Brian_Fantana said:
No aids and no pics of wife. Sort of a vent.


So, the wife and I have been trying for a little sucker for a year now. Anyone else have issues trying? It’s fun as shit for me; but honestly we are getting a little concerned. Went and beat off in a cup a couple times and apparently the boys and gals are swimming. Lovely wife had some low counts on things and is taking some pills to hopefully help make things happen. Honestly starting to concern me that we can’t for one reason or another. Her sister is an OBGYN in DM so giving her all the timing tips and whatnot.
Anyway
. Just venting. I know it doesn’t fit the political narrative of the board but just wanted to vent. For what it’s worth, she is 100% Biden and left whereas I’m more “Trump Sucks” but lean right. I know that is probably the problem for you idiots that make this political
Click to expand...

We had the same issues. Went on meds and ended up with twins (now 9). 2 1/2 years later and a night of tequila we also have an almost 7 year old now.

It will happen if it's meant to be. If not, I'm a little envious of those DINK couples
 
FSUTribe76 said:
I've been more about preventing them than gaining them, but from my personal experience having a fair amount of friends, plus a sister and a sister-in-law all desperate for kids, what I've seen is that once you give up trying to have them and just relax and have sex normally.....that's when the babies come. Both my sister and sister-in-law had surgeries to try to help, plus both had some tissue masses implanted which failed. Both my sister and SIL ended up giving up after a couple of years and then tried to adopt. All without success. Then boom....magically, my sister has healthy baby boy and my SIL has healthy male twins essentially out of the blue. There's similar stories with a couple of my wife's friends. One had FAR more surgeries and failed implants than that and was 44 o5 45 when she stopped trying....and blammo....kid. Another one of my wife's friends was younger as she was only 33 when she had her FIRST miracle baby....but due to cancer she only had one half of one ovary and half of a uterus. She was told that she would never have kids, but now she's literally pregnant with her FOURTH kid. I had a friend who was 46 or 47, I believe..something roughly around that as she was older than my wife's friend by a couple of years, and she also had a kid late in life and after she and her husband had officially stopped trying after two years of dedicated "work". There really seems to be something about the stress of "trying to have a kid" that seems to stop it from happening. Once they give up and just let nature take its course....blammo...kids.

I only know one couple that tried to have kids via surgery and implants and after giving up tried adoption and then they literally got their infant within two months of applying. I don't mean they started the adoption process in two months, I mean like literally one day later they were notified of a potential mother eight months pregnant and then blammo.....two months later they have a cute adopted infant. And who knows, maybe they'll have a natural kid at some point now that the stress is off them.
Click to expand...
This exact story with about 5 other couples I know. In fact, now that I think about it, it holds for every couple I know that struggled to get pregnant.
 
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Brian_Fantana said:
Thanks all. Easy for me to say as I am admittedly laid back about it, maybe too much. I al 40 (took me a while to grow up enough to think I am ready for children) and she is 35 so may be part of the issue. I am all for just banging every night! Also understand her checking to see when “it’s time” based off some shit she checks. It’s just a bit odd that one of my older brothers can fall on someone and she’s pregnant. Other brother and wife had to go though IV. They did end up having a beautiful son and daughter though, so zero regrets

again - just venting here as I don’t believe my wife reads this board. Unless of course she is Chis
Click to expand...
You also might think about going every other night or every third night. You do tend to build up swimmers…the best ones get to the front of the line so to speak. If you’re blowing them out every day that doesn’t happen.
 
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My advice. Accept the fact it may never happen and enjoy your freedom as a couple.

Then it will happen. Worked for us.
 
The wife and I have been trying for over 5 years now. The wife and I are both in my terms “damaged goods”.
we’ve been through 3 IVF cycles and have selected an egg donor that apparently was worse off then what my wife is so we are back to selecting a new egg donor.
I hope to you have better luck then what we have so far as it’s not much fun and not cheap at all.
mid say the only enjoyable part is when people start to complain about how expensive kids are and I can shut them up pretty quickly.
 
Brian_Fantana said:
Thanks all. Easy for me to say as I am admittedly laid back about it, maybe too much. I al 40 (took me a while to grow up enough to think I am ready for children) and she is 35 so may be part of the issue. I am all for just banging every night! Also understand her checking to see when “it’s time” based off some shit she checks. It’s just a bit odd that one of my older brothers can fall on someone and she’s pregnant. Other brother and wife had to go though IV. They did end up having a beautiful son and daughter though, so zero regrets

again - just venting here as I don’t believe my wife reads this board. Unless of course she is Chis
Click to expand...
Chis is a father of…four is it, @Chishawk1425?

I think Chis-bombs are quite potent and may be the missing ingredient in your baby-making pudding. And center-right, “Trump sucks” is a great place to be.

I’ll leave you with this. When you pray for fertilization, pray in a language the universe recognizes: with gratitude and visualization of a baby in your wife’s womb. In other words, pray like you have already received it.

Best wishes to you and your wife.
 
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I have 2. We expected to take a while, but we actually got pregnant on the very first month that we tried.

A couple years later we tried again. It took 2 months that time.

So let me know if you need me to pinch hit. I’m 6’2”, college athlete, good looking, 130+ IQ. But apparently can only sire boys (fun fact: me and my brothers are 6/6 producing boys).
 
Brian_Fantana said:
No aids and no pics of wife. Sort of a vent.


So, the wife and I have been trying for a little sucker for a year now. Anyone else have issues trying? It’s fun as shit for me; but honestly we are getting a little concerned. Went and beat off in a cup a couple times and apparently the boys and gals are swimming. Lovely wife had some low counts on things and is taking some pills to hopefully help make things happen. Honestly starting to concern me that we can’t for one reason or another. Her sister is an OBGYN in DM so giving her all the timing tips and whatnot.
Anyway
. Just venting. I know it doesn’t fit the political narrative of the board but just wanted to vent. For what it’s worth, she is 100% Biden and left whereas I’m more “Trump Sucks” but lean right. I know that is probably the problem for you idiots that make this political
Click to expand...

It took us about a year before my wife got pregnant. But it happened.

Than the next two took pretty much nothing at all.
 
Marcust5 said:
The wife and I have been trying for over 5 years now. The wife and I are both in my terms “damaged goods”.
we’ve been through 3 IVF cycles and have selected an egg donor that apparently was worse off then what my wife is so we are back to selecting a new egg donor.
I hope to you have better luck then what we have so far as it’s not much fun and not cheap at all.
mid say the only enjoyable part is when people start to complain about how expensive kids are and I can shut them up pretty quickly.
Click to expand...

I see you got the thread about your wife deleted. That was a start... but if you’re going to tell people who you are IRL, you should prob stop mentioning your wife when her Facebook page is not set to private... especially when you’re saying some dumb things on here to people.

You’re welcome.
 
Brian_Fantana said:
No aids and no pics of wife. Sort of a vent.


So, the wife and I have been trying for a little sucker for a year now. Anyone else have issues trying? It’s fun as shit for me; but honestly we are getting a little concerned. Went and beat off in a cup a couple times and apparently the boys and gals are swimming. Lovely wife had some low counts on things and is taking some pills to hopefully help make things happen. Honestly starting to concern me that we can’t for one reason or another. Her sister is an OBGYN in DM so giving her all the timing tips and whatnot.
Anyway
. Just venting. I know it doesn’t fit the political narrative of the board but just wanted to vent. For what it’s worth, she is 100% Biden and left whereas I’m more “Trump Sucks” but lean right. I know that is probably the problem for you idiots that make this political
Click to expand...
Like some other replies here, we were in the same boat. We tried, failed and worried. After a while we kind of relaxed and accepted what would be would be. Then pregnancy happened, and again 3 years later. We have 2 great boys that are worth the wait.

It 's like going to sleep. You can't try to make yourself sleep, it will come when it comes.

Good luck.
 
ping72 said:
I see you got the thread about your wife deleted. That was a start... but if you’re going to tell people who you are IRL, you should prob stop mentioning your wife when her Facebook page is not set to private... especially when you’re saying some dumb things on here to people.

You’re welcome.
Click to expand...
Youve got issues dude if you’re creeping that hard and you found me and my wife from my first name?
 
lucas80 said:
You know that it isn’t the butt you put it in, right?
Also, I’m before any of the other fathers here offers to step in with their good sperm.
Also, good luck. Parenthood is a ride.
Click to expand...
Reminds me of a story about a couple I believe in China. Tried for years and couldn’t get pregnant. Went to get help and found out WRONG HOLE.
 
Brian_Fantana said:
Thanks all. Easy for me to say as I am admittedly laid back about it, maybe too much. I al 40 (took me a while to grow up enough to think I am ready for children) and she is 35 so may be part of the issue. I am all for just banging every night! Also understand her checking to see when “it’s time” based off some shit she checks. It’s just a bit odd that one of my older brothers can fall on someone and she’s pregnant. Other brother and wife had to go though IV. They did end up having a beautiful son and daughter though, so zero regrets

again - just venting here as I don’t believe my wife reads this board. Unless of course she is Chis
Click to expand...

when my ex and i were trying to have a kid, i was like “cool, because now i am going to get it consistently”. She had the days lined up. After the first two months of not being successful during those days, she was talking about me getting things checked out if it didnt happen ln the third time. The third month was successful.

i love my boy, but damn i missed some huge red flags that wouldve saved me a ton of headaches and cash if we didnt Have any kids. I am glad i stopped at 1
 
I'm sure you've heard all of the different positions by now but my wife would do a kind of head stand after secks to let it soak in if you will. We've been pregnant 7 times got 3 healthy boys out of it. Lots of heartache in between. Last one she was 38.

I have a buddy with unlimited funds. Him and his wife tried everything for years. She was in her 40's and they had spent well over $100K. Finally they just accepted that it wasn't going to happen and stopped all the procedures and 3 months later she got pregnant!

I'm not into magic or anything but my group of friends had this little stone pyramid they would put under their bed and it worked for every single one of them. They would just pass it around to the next couple.
 
Marcust5 said:
Youve got issues dude if you’re creeping that hard and you found me and my wife from my first name?
Click to expand...

You posted elsewhere that you were letting everyone know who you are and that you weren’t hiding… I was curious to see if that was true. FYI, it was very easy.
 
Wife was pregnant 6 times and we have 3 kids. One thing I learned is that you have to accept you aren’t in control of it and whatever is going to happen, will happen. There were some hard times and some sadness, but I wouldn’t change any of it because the kids I have are awesome (most of the time, ha). Go through the process, take advantage of the resources you have available to you, and if you believe in a higher power, just know that there’s a plan and it will all make sense someday.
 
Took the wife and I 3 years and 5 IUIs to finally get pregnant. Ya, the "fun" eventually fades; especially on those nights where you can't stand your spouse, but it's "time".
 
Brian_Fantana said:
No aids and no pics of wife. Sort of a vent.


So, the wife and I have been trying for a little sucker for a year now. Anyone else have issues trying? It’s fun as shit for me; but honestly we are getting a little concerned. Went and beat off in a cup a couple times and apparently the boys and gals are swimming. Lovely wife had some low counts on things and is taking some pills to hopefully help make things happen. Honestly starting to concern me that we can’t for one reason or another. Her sister is an OBGYN in DM so giving her all the timing tips and whatnot.
Anyway
. Just venting. I know it doesn’t fit the political narrative of the board but just wanted to vent. For what it’s worth, she is 100% Biden and left whereas I’m more “Trump Sucks” but lean right. I know that is probably the problem for you idiots that make this political
Click to expand...

I'm not sure where you live OP, but if you're in Iowa, UIHC has one of the best Human Infertility/IVF clinics in the country if not the entire world as far as success rates go, but few people actually realize it. They're better than Mayo, Johns Hopkins, and many others. There's likely only a handful in the world that have better success than UIHC.

I worked in the UIHC IVF clinic for 14 years from the mid-1980s up until 1999, so I was there when they were just getting started. They've consistently had high success rates and the UIHC is committed to the program so they have available the best and most beneficial technologies in that specialty. There's also a clinic in Clive that is very good and their success rates are just a bit lower than UIHC.

Since you've only been seeking a pregnancy for about a year, it would be premature to jump into the IVF world at this point in time IMO unless there's an underlying health issue that makes natural success highly unlikely, and IVF is IMO the last option you should consider after more traditional treatments have failed. And yes, it is not out of the question that once you (and the wife) quit stressing over it, you will unexpectedly have a successful pregnancy without any assistance at all. I saw that happen several times in my tenure there.

That being said, IVF success is highly dependent on the mother's age so putting it off isn't sage advice if you continue to not achieve pregnancy and the years start flying by. I found this CDC report below which has all of the assisted reproductive centers in the US and their most recently published (2018) results. If you do go that route, make sure to do your due diligence and look at success rates and how many cycles a clinic is doing before making a decision. There are a lot of these clinics IMO that should not be operating so caveat emptor.

https://www.cdc.gov/art/pdf/2018-report/ART-2018-Clinic-Report-Full.pdf

Good luck to you and your wife!
 
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