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True life AITH incident from this weekend

torbee

torbee

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Sep 13, 2002
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Sunday afternoon golf at a course down by Monmouth, Illinois.

I am in a stellar mood and having my best front 9 of the season. On pace for about a 40-42 on front.

The foursome in front of us has been playing REALLY slowly, but not egregiously. Until hole 7.

We had to wait about 5 minutes on the tee box while these jackholes criss-crossed the fairway looking for balls an inordinate amount of time. OK, they aren't playing "ready golf" but it happens.

After we hit our drives (and mine is stellar, lands center fairway about 155 yards from green - they are STILL jackassing around in and around the green, inexplicably shanking and topping chips. We wait about 3 minutes for our second shots. Finally, they get ON the green. And now they are lining up putts, plumb-bobbing their putters and missing, badly. This goes on, I'm not shitting you, another FIVE MINUTES. It's obvious these guys are betting (which is fine by me) because they are lining up the shortest putts and taking time and not conceding ANY gimmes. Last guy on misses like a two footer and then - again, not shitting you - walks back to where he'd missed like a 9-footer and takes A PRACTiCE PUTT (while we are obviously standing 150ish yards out waiting) He of course misses that one, then proceeds TWICE to try and put short two-footers like the one he just missed. And he misses both of those. They finally trundle - painfully slowly - off the green, a full 8 or so minutes after we got to our drives and they were on the green.

Now I'm starting to get steamed (how steamed I was not initially aware of, but as you will see, a LOT!)

I go to hit a nice easy 155 yard 7 iron. And completely toe it, sending it at a 90 degree angle directly into the woods to my right, ruining my good front 9 score.

At this point, a hot red rage engulfs my body and I yell, extremely loudly and I should note in a sort of a canyon-like, reverberating area "THANKS A LOT F--KERS! I JUST SHANKED BY SHOT BECAUSE OF YOUR SLOW ASSES!"

I then drop a ball, take my penalty stroke, and attempt a second approach shot that hits the green, but rolls off the back.

As we roll up to the green, these guys are still off to the side. Clearly vexed. A fat, redneck-y looking one is all puffed up and as I'm looking for where my second ball landed, gets all aggressive "WHO YELLED? Which one of you assholes yelled?"

I ignore him, figuring they will eventually STFU and go away.

Now he starts geting even angrier and inexplicably says "What's your problem, Judy? Who yelled, ya ******?"

I look him in the eye and say "I did."

"What's your f----ing problem, Judy?" he says.

"You're slow-ass play, " I repsond.

Then he gets all pissed off yelling at me about how I need to "find a different game to play" and "What the hell are you in a hurry for" etc., etc., hurling insults, etc.

I actually keep my cool pretty well (for someone who often runs his mouth when provoked.)

Finally, he goes "Maybe you should play a different sport"

At which I can't resist saying "ME? I should play a different sport? You're the f---k face that missed three two-foot putts."

Then one of my partners gets between us so things don't escalate and we - believe it or not - actually did play through, lol. So in the end, my outburst worked I guess.

So here's the question - I know I violated golf etiquette by cursing and yelling on the course (and I suppose "directing" it at the group ahead). And I really didn't think it would reverberate and be quite as loud as it ended up, lol. But that said, who do you think was the bigger a-hole in this situation?

I will hang up and listen to your answers.
 
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Public course. Bogey golfer. Beautiful weather this weekend.

You're wound to tight. I'm afraid you are the asshole. Order another drink from the cart girl next time. And if you want to really work on your game, get some private lessons and join a club so you won't feel inclined to yell at the riff-raff.

Edit to add: I feel your pain though. I was 1 over through nine at Pebble once. Slow play on the back nine by a group of touristy douches killed my round. Oh well.
 
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Hawki97 said:
Public course. Bogey golfer. Beautiful weather this weekend.

You're wound to tight. I'm afraid you are the asshole. Order another drink from the cart girl next time. And if you want to really work on your game, get some private lessons and join a club so you won't feel inclined to yell at the riff-raff.
Click to expand...
The crazy thing is I'm not wound too tight typically!

I was chilling, having a good time, etc., etc. It's just something about the jackass practicing putts while we waited then me immediately shanking it that literally made me temporarily go insane.

I ended up with an 88 on the day, which is below my usual mid-90s score, so in the end, NBD.
 
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Is the OP a parody of an existing thread I missed? Or just another example of exceptionally piss poor storytelling?
 
torbee said:
The crazy thing is I'm not wound too tight typically!

I was chilling, having a good time, etc., etc. It's just something about the jackass practicing putts while we waited then me immediately shanking it that literally made me temporarily go insane.

I ended up with an 88 on the day, which is below my usual mid-90s score, so in the end, NBD.
Click to expand...

I get it. See my edit above. That one hurt. In the end, I've got to the point with my game where it's just fun golf.
 
torbee said:
Sunday afternoon golf at a course down by Monmouth, Illinois.

I am in a stellar mood and having my best front 9 of the season. On pace for about a 40-42 on front.

The foursome in front of us has been playing REALLY slowly, but not egregiously. Until hole 7.

We had to wait about 5 minutes on the tee box while these jackholes criss-crossed the fairway looking for balls an inordinate amount of time. OK, they aren't playing "ready golf" but it happens.

After we hit our drives (and mine is stellar, lands center fairway about 155 yards from green - they are STILL jackassing around in and around the green, inexplicably shanking and topping chips. We wait about 3 minutes for our second shots. Finally, they get ON the green. And now they are lining up putts, plumb-bobbing their putters and missing, badly. This goes on, I'm not shitting you, another FIVE MINUTES. It's obvious these guys are betting (which is fine by me) because they are lining up the shortest putts and taking time and not conceding ANY gimmes. Last guy on misses like a two footer and then - again, not shitting you - walks back to where he'd missed like a 9-footer and takes A PRACTiCE PUTT (while we are obviously standing 150ish yards out waiting) He of course misses that one, then proceeds TWICE to try and put short two-footers like the one he just missed. And he misses both of those. They finally trundle - painfully slowly - off the green, a full 8 or so minutes after we got to our drives and they were on the green.

Now I'm starting to get steamed (how steamed I was not initially aware of, but as you will see, a LOT!)

I go to hit a nice easy 155 yard 7 iron. And completely toe it, sending it at a 90 degree angle directly into the woods to my right, ruining my good front 9 score.

At this point, a hot red rage engulfs my body and I yell, extremely loudly and I should note in a sort of a canyon-like, reverberating area "THANKS A LOT F--KERS! I JUST SHANKED BY SHOT BECAUSE OF YOUR SLOW ASSES!"

I then drop a ball, take my penalty stroke, and attempt a second approach shot that hits the green, but rolls off the back.

As we roll up to the green, these guys are still off to the side. Clearly vexed. A fat, redneck-y looking one is all puffed up and as I'm looking for where my second ball landed, gets all aggressive "WHO YELLED? Which one of you assholes yelled?"

I ignore him, figuring they will eventually STFU and go away.

Now he starts geting even angrier and inexplicably says "What's your problem, Judy? Who yelled, ya ******?"

I look him in the eye and say "I did."

"What's your f----ing problem, Judy?" he says.

"You're slow-ass play, " I repsond.

Then he gets all pissed off yelling at me about how I need to "find a different game to play" and "What the hell are you in a hurry for" etc., etc., hurling insults, etc.

I actually keep my cool pretty well (for someone who often runs his mouth when provoked.)

Finally, he goes "Maybe you should play a different sport"

At which I can't resist saying "ME? I should play a different sport? You're the f---k face that missed three two-foot putts."

Then one of my partners gets between us so things don't escalate and we - believe it or not - actually did play through, lol. So in the end, my outburst worked I guess.

So here's the question - I know I violated golf etiquette by cursing and yelling on the course (and I suppose "directing" it at the group ahead). And I really didn't think it would reverberate and be quite as loud as it ended up, lol. But that said, who do you think was the bigger a-hole in this situation?

I will hang up and listen to your answers.
Click to expand...
you are the douche. It wasn’t their fault you bladed your 7 iron. Be upset about the slow play, but the shank shot was on you. The better way to handle it would have been to approach them and ask if, when someone is waiting behind them, to not take practice shots/putts. The fact that they missed hit shots, zig zagged, 3 putted, etc. that happens. Obviously you shanked one too.

Why ruin a good day of golf by being a dick?
 
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torbee said:
To be semi-serious for a moment, it really wasn't even a conscious choice - it's like I was temporarily possessed!

I'd say I need anger management, but that's only like the third time in 50-years of living that's happened to me.
Click to expand...
Trust me, I’ve been there. But then I realize I was the dick and usually de-escalate the situation by apologizing. You choose the escalate the situation further. Any chance it was because he looked like a redneck?
 
HawkeyeShawn said:
Trust me, I’ve been there. But then I realize I was the dick and usually de-escalate the situation by apologizing. You choose the escalate the situation further. Any chance it was because he looked like a redneck?
Click to expand...
Well, I did have a good faith effort to NOT de-escalate. I ignored the guy at first, but he INSISTED on continuing the dialogue and insulting me.

I will admit, though, I have trouble not responding when directly challenged.
 
torbee said:
Sunday afternoon golf at a course down by Monmouth, Illinois.

I am in a stellar mood and having my best front 9 of the season. On pace for about a 40-42 on front.

The foursome in front of us has been playing REALLY slowly, but not egregiously. Until hole 7.

We had to wait about 5 minutes on the tee box while these jackholes criss-crossed the fairway looking for balls an inordinate amount of time. OK, they aren't playing "ready golf" but it happens.

After we hit our drives (and mine is stellar, lands center fairway about 155 yards from green - they are STILL jackassing around in and around the green, inexplicably shanking and topping chips. We wait about 3 minutes for our second shots. Finally, they get ON the green. And now they are lining up putts, plumb-bobbing their putters and missing, badly. This goes on, I'm not shitting you, another FIVE MINUTES. It's obvious these guys are betting (which is fine by me) because they are lining up the shortest putts and taking time and not conceding ANY gimmes. Last guy on misses like a two footer and then - again, not shitting you - walks back to where he'd missed like a 9-footer and takes A PRACTiCE PUTT (while we are obviously standing 150ish yards out waiting) He of course misses that one, then proceeds TWICE to try and put short two-footers like the one he just missed. And he misses both of those. They finally trundle - painfully slowly - off the green, a full 8 or so minutes after we got to our drives and they were on the green.

Now I'm starting to get steamed (how steamed I was not initially aware of, but as you will see, a LOT!)

I go to hit a nice easy 155 yard 7 iron. And completely toe it, sending it at a 90 degree angle directly into the woods to my right, ruining my good front 9 score.

At this point, a hot red rage engulfs my body and I yell, extremely loudly and I should note in a sort of a canyon-like, reverberating area "THANKS A LOT F--KERS! I JUST SHANKED BY SHOT BECAUSE OF YOUR SLOW ASSES!"

I then drop a ball, take my penalty stroke, and attempt a second approach shot that hits the green, but rolls off the back.

As we roll up to the green, these guys are still off to the side. Clearly vexed. A fat, redneck-y looking one is all puffed up and as I'm looking for where my second ball landed, gets all aggressive "WHO YELLED? Which one of you assholes yelled?"

I ignore him, figuring they will eventually STFU and go away.

Now he starts geting even angrier and inexplicably says "What's your problem, Judy? Who yelled, ya ******?"

I look him in the eye and say "I did."

"What's your f----ing problem, Judy?" he says.

"You're slow-ass play, " I repsond.

Then he gets all pissed off yelling at me about how I need to "find a different game to play" and "What the hell are you in a hurry for" etc., etc., hurling insults, etc.

I actually keep my cool pretty well (for someone who often runs his mouth when provoked.)

Finally, he goes "Maybe you should play a different sport"

At which I can't resist saying "ME? I should play a different sport? You're the f---k face that missed three two-foot putts."

Then one of my partners gets between us so things don't escalate and we - believe it or not - actually did play through, lol. So in the end, my outburst worked I guess.

So here's the question - I know I violated golf etiquette by cursing and yelling on the course (and I suppose "directing" it at the group ahead). And I really didn't think it would reverberate and be quite as loud as it ended up, lol. But that said, who do you think was the bigger a-hole in this situation?

I will hang up and listen to your answers.
Click to expand...
How did he know your name was Judy?
 
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If the story was exactly how you described it, I think your frustration was understandable. I think you would have been better off yelling something at them, however, before your shank, rather than after. Practice putting after you've had a 25 minute hole is hot garbage.

However, if you use the word stellar one more time, violence may truly ensue.
 
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Oh, and, would have really like to be on that tee box for your play-through tee shot. Talk about awkward...
 
torbee said:
Sunday afternoon golf at a course down by Monmouth, Illinois.

I am in a stellar mood and having my best front 9 of the season. On pace for about a 40-42 on front.

The foursome in front of us has been playing REALLY slowly, but not egregiously. Until hole 7.

We had to wait about 5 minutes on the tee box while these jackholes criss-crossed the fairway looking for balls an inordinate amount of time. OK, they aren't playing "ready golf" but it happens.

After we hit our drives (and mine is stellar, lands center fairway about 155 yards from green - they are STILL jackassing around in and around the green, inexplicably shanking and topping chips. We wait about 3 minutes for our second shots. Finally, they get ON the green. And now they are lining up putts, plumb-bobbing their putters and missing, badly. This goes on, I'm not shitting you, another FIVE MINUTES. It's obvious these guys are betting (which is fine by me) because they are lining up the shortest putts and taking time and not conceding ANY gimmes. Last guy on misses like a two footer and then - again, not shitting you - walks back to where he'd missed like a 9-footer and takes A PRACTiCE PUTT (while we are obviously standing 150ish yards out waiting) He of course misses that one, then proceeds TWICE to try and put short two-footers like the one he just missed. And he misses both of those. They finally trundle - painfully slowly - off the green, a full 8 or so minutes after we got to our drives and they were on the green.

Now I'm starting to get steamed (how steamed I was not initially aware of, but as you will see, a LOT!)

I go to hit a nice easy 155 yard 7 iron. And completely toe it, sending it at a 90 degree angle directly into the woods to my right, ruining my good front 9 score.

At this point, a hot red rage engulfs my body and I yell, extremely loudly and I should note in a sort of a canyon-like, reverberating area "THANKS A LOT F--KERS! I JUST SHANKED BY SHOT BECAUSE OF YOUR SLOW ASSES!"

I then drop a ball, take my penalty stroke, and attempt a second approach shot that hits the green, but rolls off the back.

As we roll up to the green, these guys are still off to the side. Clearly vexed. A fat, redneck-y looking one is all puffed up and as I'm looking for where my second ball landed, gets all aggressive "WHO YELLED? Which one of you assholes yelled?"

I ignore him, figuring they will eventually STFU and go away.

Now he starts geting even angrier and inexplicably says "What's your problem, Judy? Who yelled, ya ******?"

I look him in the eye and say "I did."

"What's your f----ing problem, Judy?" he says.

"You're slow-ass play, " I repsond.

Then he gets all pissed off yelling at me about how I need to "find a different game to play" and "What the hell are you in a hurry for" etc., etc., hurling insults, etc.

I actually keep my cool pretty well (for someone who often runs his mouth when provoked.)

Finally, he goes "Maybe you should play a different sport"

At which I can't resist saying "ME? I should play a different sport? You're the f---k face that missed three two-foot putts."

Then one of my partners gets between us so things don't escalate and we - believe it or not - actually did play through, lol. So in the end, my outburst worked I guess.

So here's the question - I know I violated golf etiquette by cursing and yelling on the course (and I suppose "directing" it at the group ahead). And I really didn't think it would reverberate and be quite as loud as it ended up, lol. But that said, who do you think was the bigger a-hole in this situation?

I will hang up and listen to your answers.
Click to expand...
You can't curse on a golf course? No wonder I gave up the game.
 
Crafty Beaver said:
Oh, and, would have really like to be on that tee box for your play-through tee shot. Talk about awkward...
Click to expand...
It was a relatively straightforward par 3 and I managed to land on the fringe thankfully.

It is noteworthy, however, that that foursome ended up having to let two more groups play through. They were on pace for a 5.5 hour round.
 
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torbee said:
Sunday afternoon golf at a course down by Monmouth, Illinois.

I am in a stellar mood and having my best front 9 of the season. On pace for about a 40-42 on front.

The foursome in front of us has been playing REALLY slowly, but not egregiously. Until hole 7.

We had to wait about 5 minutes on the tee box while these jackholes criss-crossed the fairway looking for balls an inordinate amount of time. OK, they aren't playing "ready golf" but it happens.

After we hit our drives (and mine is stellar, lands center fairway about 155 yards from green - they are STILL jackassing around in and around the green, inexplicably shanking and topping chips. We wait about 3 minutes for our second shots. Finally, they get ON the green. And now they are lining up putts, plumb-bobbing their putters and missing, badly. This goes on, I'm not shitting you, another FIVE MINUTES. It's obvious these guys are betting (which is fine by me) because they are lining up the shortest putts and taking time and not conceding ANY gimmes. Last guy on misses like a two footer and then - again, not shitting you - walks back to where he'd missed like a 9-footer and takes A PRACTiCE PUTT (while we are obviously standing 150ish yards out waiting) He of course misses that one, then proceeds TWICE to try and put short two-footers like the one he just missed. And he misses both of those. They finally trundle - painfully slowly - off the green, a full 8 or so minutes after we got to our drives and they were on the green.

Now I'm starting to get steamed (how steamed I was not initially aware of, but as you will see, a LOT!)

I go to hit a nice easy 155 yard 7 iron. And completely toe it, sending it at a 90 degree angle directly into the woods to my right, ruining my good front 9 score.

At this point, a hot red rage engulfs my body and I yell, extremely loudly and I should note in a sort of a canyon-like, reverberating area "THANKS A LOT F--KERS! I JUST SHANKED BY SHOT BECAUSE OF YOUR SLOW ASSES!"

I then drop a ball, take my penalty stroke, and attempt a second approach shot that hits the green, but rolls off the back.

As we roll up to the green, these guys are still off to the side. Clearly vexed. A fat, redneck-y looking one is all puffed up and as I'm looking for where my second ball landed, gets all aggressive "WHO YELLED? Which one of you assholes yelled?"

I ignore him, figuring they will eventually STFU and go away.

Now he starts geting even angrier and inexplicably says "What's your problem, Judy? Who yelled, ya ******?"

I look him in the eye and say "I did."

"What's your f----ing problem, Judy?" he says.

"You're slow-ass play, " I repsond.

Then he gets all pissed off yelling at me about how I need to "find a different game to play" and "What the hell are you in a hurry for" etc., etc., hurling insults, etc.

I actually keep my cool pretty well (for someone who often runs his mouth when provoked.)

Finally, he goes "Maybe you should play a different sport"

At which I can't resist saying "ME? I should play a different sport? You're the f---k face that missed three two-foot putts."

Then one of my partners gets between us so things don't escalate and we - believe it or not - actually did play through, lol. So in the end, my outburst worked I guess.

So here's the question - I know I violated golf etiquette by cursing and yelling on the course (and I suppose "directing" it at the group ahead). And I really didn't think it would reverberate and be quite as loud as it ended up, lol. But that said, who do you think was the bigger a-hole in this situation?

I will hang up and listen to your answers.
Click to expand...
I love to tell jokes when play is slow. It keeps everyone loose and passes the time with a great laugh.
 
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