What's the dumbest thing you have done on the job?

[Tenacious E]

Not work related, but reminds me of a similar story.

So, it's 1995 and I'm playing it cool on a date carrying my Nokia 100. We went to see the Iditarod and I tripped in some snow. As I'm tripping I tossed the phone to my date who caught it and hit 'send' which called the last number I dialed.

Where was that call, might you ask? To my scope dope buddy on duty at the 11th Air Force tracking the friendly skies. Since it was a work line, another controller answered who didn't know who it was. To keep this from being TL;DR, she transferred the unknown call to ALL the controllers for a good laugh. Finally, my buddy recognized my voice and killed the call after about 20 minutes of listening to me trying to put on my dating moves. Also, this was back in the day when you paid per minute.

Well, if we're going non-work related cell phone stories, I can one up you. About 10 years ago I got a new phone. I had never had an incident with a cell phone where I caused it damage. So when the guy at the store asked if I wanted a protection plan, I said no I'm good. Less than a week later, a hoodie with a pocket on the front goes through the wash with my new cell phone in it. Ruined. I go back to the store and the same guy is there, and he asks me if I wanted a protection plan on the replacement phone. I say no, I've had my stupid moment for the decade. So literally a day later, I have a big souvenir cup full of water (the kind you get at sporting events) in my left hand, and my phone in the right. I lean over to turn the tv off with my cup hand, and balancing myself, with my right arm above my head. The phone slips out of my hand, drops about 3 feet, and lands directly in the cup of water. Ruined, and I couldn't duplicate what happened if I tried 100 times. So I had got three phones in about a week's time.

 

[alaskanseminole]

Well, if we're going non-work related cell phone stories, I can one up you. About 10 years ago I got a new phone. I had never had an incident with a cell phone where I caused it damage. So when the guy at the store asked if I wanted a protection plan, I said no I'm good. Less than a week later, a hoodie with a pocket on the front goes through the wash with my new cell phone in it. Ruined. I go back to the store and the same guy is there, and he asks me if I wanted a protection plan on the replacement phone. I say no, I've had my stupid moment for the decade. So literally a day later, I have a big souvenir cup full of water (the kind you get at sporting events) in my left hand, and my phone in the right. I lean over to turn the tv off with my cup hand, and balancing myself, might right arm is above my head. The phone slips out of my hand, drops about 3 feet, and lands directly in the cup of water. Ruined, and I couldn't duplicate what happened if I tried 100 times. So I had got three phones in about a week's time.

Please tell me the same guy was there for the 2nd replacement! LOL

I've been hovering over the delete phone insurance button on me and Mrs. Alaska's phone for months now. I've NEVER used it in the 10+ years I've had it. But the second I do, I'll be returning to this thread.

 

[BelemNole]

GPS as in the Global Provisioning System for asset management?

It was the Trimble TerraFlex website. All our data was getting uploaded on to that. We did biological and cultural surveys. I was the only name on the account and the only one with a username/password and was the administrator.
I have no idea what they did after they canned me. Perhaps Trimble gave them access, but they might have had to set up their own account and lost everything that was uploaded.
I don't think the girl even knew the site existed, I handled all the gps work for the entire company.
I didn't care, wasn't my problem anymore.

 

[Tenacious E]

Please tell me the same guy was there for the 2nd replacement! LOL

I've been hovering over the delete phone insurance button on me and Mrs. Alaska's phone for months now. I've NEVER used it in the 10+ years I've had it. But the second I do, I'll be returning to this thread.

Same guy. It was in the Des Moines skywalk right by where I work. About 10 years later (last year), i ruined another phone by leaving it on top of my car while I was loading golf clubs and driving off. Found it smashed in the road near my house where I took my first corner at speed.

 

[alaskanseminole]

It was the Trimble TerraFlex website. All our data was getting uploaded on to that. We did biological and cultural surveys. I was the only name on the account and the only one with a username/password and was the administrator.
I have no idea what they did after they canned me. Perhaps Trimble gave them access, but they might have had to set up their own account and lost everything that was uploaded.
I don't think the girl even knew the site existed, I handled all the gps work for the entire company.
I didn't care, wasn't my problem anymore.

For context to the question, I literally just published our GPS Access "how to guide" this morning to the LCM team. So it just popped out at me.

 

[ZachJump]

After not having video on both a zoom and a teams call/conference, I asked our office manager to put in a work order to the IT company we use. She walks down to my office and slides a little slider on the top of the laptop screen which apparently turns the camera on and off. I had no idea it existed, or how it got moved.

Just a note...it doesn't turn the camera on and off...it is just a physical blocker to the camera lens.

 

[theiacowtipper]

This is around 1988. Yes I’m old. I was a brand new EMT. We picked up an inmate from the prison. A really really bad dude. I was working with paramedic and the inmate wasn’t doing well. Allergic reaction. I said to the paramedic aren’t we going to do something? The paramedic said f* him let him die. He didn’t but he could have.

Never said anything to anyone.

 

[seminole97]

Same guy. It was in the Des Moines skywalk right by where I work. About 10 years later (last year), i ruined another phone by leaving it on top of my car while I was loading golf clubs and driving off. Found it smashed in the road near my house where I took my first corner at speed.

Having had a blackberry clipped for several years as first phones, when I got an iPhone I had it survive more than one 6.4 mile drive to work when I set the phone on my roof getting keys or something.
The coefficient of friction on the otter box iPhone 4 rubber case is legendary.

 

[Derekd3408]

She was an absolute wood. If anyone else had asked me to do it I probably would have told them to fudge themselves.

She probably thought you were good at handling small skinny things.

 

[Scruddy]

When I was in my early teens I had a summer gig working for a pool company. I didn't know how threaded connections worked outside of the cap for my bike's valve stems and tried jamming a male plug into a hole without threading it. My coworker couldn't figure out that the problem with it not sealing was me for about 20 minutes. It was quickly remedied once the situation was assessed. I felt stupid at the time, but at least even young me knew what a woman was, so I'm drastically ahead of this generation (and a number of posters on this board) if nothing else.

 

[McLovin32]

She probably thought you were good at handling small skinny things.

You're probably right, and then I missed an opportunity. When I couldn't get it I should have told her "Sorry, couldn't get it. I'm used to dealing with much larger snakes "

 

[ButtersHawk]

IDK if dumb but when I delivered beer I had a key for a small town bar so I could deliver whenever. I liked going early to be alone and snoop out the new addition they were working on.
Anyway one day about 7:30AM whilst delivering at this bar the HuHot from the night before hit. The bar used a breaker so it was dark in the bathroom. I left something that'd impress Randy Marsh or Bono in the toilet only to have the toilet not flush. Using my phone light I saw there was actually no water in the toilet at all. In a panic I finished the delivery as fast as possible and got the hell out of there.
The next week across the bathroom entrance the bar had a sign covering the entire entrance saying "BATHROOMS NOW IN NEW ADDITION"

I felt awful but I didn't get paid by the hour at the job. I had no time to clean that up

 

[ConvenientParking]

I didn't care, wasn't my problem anymore.

 

[noleclone2]

Making 19,201 $hitposts on HORT/GIAORT.

 

[stickman80]

IDK if dumb but when I delivered beer I had a key for a small town bar so I could deliver whenever. I liked going early to be alone and snoop out the new addition they were working on.
Anyway one day about 7:30AM whilst delivering at this bar the HuHot from the night before hit. The bar used a breaker so it was dark in the bathroom. I left something that'd impress Randy Marsh or Bono in the toilet only to have the toilet not flush. Using my phone light I saw there was actually no water in the toilet at all. In a panic I finished the delivery as fast as possible and got the hell out of there.
The next week across the bathroom entrance the bar had a sign covering the entire entrance saying "BATHROOMS NOW IN NEW ADDITION"

I felt awful but I didn't get paid by the hour at the job. I had no time to clean that up

WInner winner chicken dinner.

 

[goldmom]

Never telling the prick I worked for to go f himself.
Not a single person who ever worked for him left or retired singing his praises as a great guy to work for.
But when you’re suddenly widowed in your mid 50’s you quickly realize you need to keep your job and you keep your mouth shut and go along to get along,

 

[stickman80]

Place I worked at years ago had an Asian woman who kept screwing up so she kept getting moved to a different area and finally they dumped her in a non-client accounting role so all her contact and screw-ups were internal.

After screwing my stuff up several times and me trying to explain the problem and solution to her I got frustrated. Finally she said, "I confused...please talk to my reader". Out of frustration I replied, "Yes, I think it is time I talk to your reader!" Unknown to me her leader was sitting with her on speaker phone.

Before talking to her leader I had to talk to HR and retake a diversity class.

Yes....it is ok if you call me a racist bastard over this one.

 

[Kinnick.At.Night]

I forgot to release a track authority once on a Friday afternoon years ago. I completed my other computer work and forms and left the office for the day. I put my phone on the counter when I got home and went out to mow the lawn. By the time I got back inside, around an hour-and-a-half later, I saw that I’d missed a bunch of calls and had messages. All from work. I realized what I’d done immediately and called the dispatch center. Let’s just say the dispatcher wasn’t pleased and let me know in a not so kind way that I was holding intermodal trains and a local. Essentially, costing the company $$$$. Oops. I apologized, released my authority, hung up and cracked open a beer.

 

[IAFB2021Champs]

She probably thought you were good at handling small skinny things.

She even did all the dirty work in this case and found it for him and he still didn’t know what to do.

 

[SeaPA]

Well, if we're going non-work related cell phone stories, I can one up you. About 10 years ago I got a new phone. I had never had an incident with a cell phone where I caused it damage. So when the guy at the store asked if I wanted a protection plan, I said no I'm good. Less than a week later, a hoodie with a pocket on the front goes through the wash with my new cell phone in it. Ruined. I go back to the store and the same guy is there, and he asks me if I wanted a protection plan on the replacement phone. I say no, I've had my stupid moment for the decade. So literally a day later, I have a big souvenir cup full of water (the kind you get at sporting events) in my left hand, and my phone in the right. I lean over to turn the tv off with my cup hand, and balancing myself, with my right arm above my head. The phone slips out of my hand, drops about 3 feet, and lands directly in the cup of water. Ruined, and I couldn't duplicate what happened if I tried 100 times. So I had got three phones in about a week's time.

So did you spring for the insurance on the 3rd phone?

 

[Tenacious E]

So did you spring for the insurance on the 3rd phone?

No. I figured I’d beat the odds going forward.

 

[gohawks50]

Not a dumb thing I did, but a funny story about one of my kindergartners. One morning Ethan (who had some speech problems) comes up to my desk pointing to something white sticking out of the hole in the knee of his jeans. I thought it was a dryer sheet so I pulled it out. Turns out it was a pair of little boy's tighty whities. Ethan's eyes got really big. I laughed and told him to put the underwear in his backpack to take home. A short time later, Ethan asked to go to the bathroom. I'm pretty sure he was checking to make sure I hadn't pulled the underwear he was wearing out of the hole in his jeans!

 

[HawkMachine]

First and last day of the running the camera.

 

[binsfeldcyhawk2]

When I got assigned to Spangdahlem AB, Germany from Hahn AB I was trying to find my new unit.

Drove right through the check point for my new Aircraft Maintenance Unit.

Anyway, get to the parking lot and see a couple security forces vehicles with their lights and sirens on driving down the taxiway. I go into the maintenance building and hear over the radio that a blue VW golf blew through the the checkpoint....oh F.

Go back to my car and wave down the next security forces vehicle I see. I'm thinking things will get cleared up quick...wrong. The guy calls it in, bunch of other vehicles show up and I'm on the ground getting cuufed and thrown into the back of the first vehicle. Long story short is I'm in the SP lockup for 4 hrs before the first sergeant from my new unit gets me out...great first impression.

 

[jasonrann]

So you were responsible for the upper decker? Got it.

 

[OutbackBowl2017]

Letting my mother in law to be part of our small business... Our shop bathroom is right next to my work bench that I spend the entire day at... My MIL had a stomach surgery 20 years ago that makes her poop smell like toxic waste that you could smell within a radius of a mile... Good thing I have a trash can close in case I need to turn and puke. 15 years of putting up with it so far lol...

Put a sign up that says courtesy flush as soon as you drop a deuce. That should help your situation.

Regarding any work or personal events that were embarrassing, none that measure to the level of the stories on here yet. I’m sure there will be one one day.

 

[blackbones]

Put a sign up that says courtesy flush as soon as you drop a deuce. That should help your situation.

Regarding any work or personal events that were embarrassing, none that measure to the level of the stories on here yet. I’m sure there will be one one day.

My wife advised me to delete my post lol...

 

[stillh8unlv]

Let the garbage pile up a bit in Pizza Ranch kitchen so me and the shift manager would both have to take trash out to Sycamore Mall dumpster instead of just one of us and then we could hit my little one hitter before going back in to close. I've been an exemplary employee since college. @millah_22 I got some statute of limitations questions before I reveal any my exploits with our mutual former employer but I did break laws on the job there from time to time as well.

Not the stupidest thing ever done at a Pizza Ranch.

Trust Me, I'm a Doctor!

 

[Daggerfoot]

Last season I had a 40# halibut at the boat after a pretty easy fight considering the size of the fish. I was leadering it to the gaff (which is the regular procedure) when with the energy it did not use during the fight, it rocketed back towards the bottom. That isn't all that uncommon either, but the stupid thing I did was I held on to the leader. 40# mono sliced 3 of my fingers to the bone leaving a really nasty, jagged wound. I guess the silver lining is it wasn't braid, or typing this would have been a lot more difficult.

Edit to add: The leader broke and I lost the fish, along with about $400.

 

[beanerhawk]

Back in my mid 20's banging way to many co-workers. Don't recommend that, work gets awkward when they start talking.

 

[ping72]

Making 19,201 $hitposts on HORT/GIAORT.

When I was younger, I was dumb enough to HROT on my work computer. Now I know better.

About 15 years ago, I posted a picture of a very attractive young woman in a Star Wars R2-D2 leotard. Right after that, a woman I worked with sent an email she was looking for something on a website. So I pull up the website, copy the URL, paste it into the email and hit send.

She writes back about 30 seconds later with “uh… That’s not the link to X.” I clicked the link and it goes to the picture that I posted on this site of the young lady. Apparently something did not work when I tried to copy the website. But the link to that picture was still on my clipboard to paste.

I said something like oops and then sent her the correct link. Thankfully, she was cool and didn’t mention it again. That probably could’ve been pretty bad for me.

I’m hitting post on this. But to not violate board rules, I’ll do another search and see if I can find that picture.

 

[ping72]

When I was younger, I was dumb enough to HROT on my work computer. Now I know better.

About 15 years ago, I posted a picture of a very attractive young woman in a Star Wars R2-D2 leotard. Right after that, a woman I worked with sent an email she was looking for something on a website. So I pull up the website, copy the URL, paste it into the email and hit send.

She writes back about 30 seconds later with “uh… That’s not the link to X.” I clicked the link and it goes to the picture that I posted on this site of the young lady. Apparently something did not work when I tried to copy the website. But the link to that picture was still on my clipboard to paste.

I said something like oops and then sent her the correct link. Thankfully, she was cool and didn’t mention it again. That probably could’ve been pretty bad for me.

I’m hitting post on this. But to not violate board rules, I’ll do another search and see if I can find that picture.

Think this was it:

 

[HawkeyeShawn]

This was about 20 years ago. I worked in sales for a super paranoid company. They wouldn’t allow you to email outside the company through normal email channels, like outlook. You had to email through their CRM. Nothing personal, you had to be 100% work all the time. There was once a memo put out about how long people were spending in the restrooms. We used to joke about having to wear seatbelts at our desks.

There was a small group of us that were anti-management. We were successful there despite how awful they were. We found out that they were monitoring our internal emails with each other. Every single email was being read. They knew if we were bitching, had potential big sales coming, and even as much as where we were going to lunch or for drinks after work. They were known to send a spy to our happy hours to pretend to be one of us. No joke.

Once we caught on to this, we pretty much had had enough of their BS, we started emailing each other in binary code. Dumb shit. Things that didn’t matter or mean anything. Just so whoever was spying would have to take the time to decode the message.

I remember thinking, how would I ever explain this to my wife if I got fired. “You got fired? For what.” “Um, for sending emails to my friends in binary code.” Yeah, that would have gone over real well.

 

[seminole97]

Think this was it:

View embedded media

 

[ping72]

This was about 20 years ago. I worked in sales for a super paranoid company. They wouldn’t allow you to email outside the company through normal email channels, like outlook. You had to email through their CRM. Nothing personal, you had to be 100% work all the time. There was once a memo put out about how long people were spending in the restrooms. We used to joke about having to wear seatbelts at our desks.

There was a small group of us that were anti-management. We were successful there despite how awful they were. We found out that they were monitoring our internal emails with each other. Every single email was being read. They knew if we were bitching, had potential big sales coming, and even as much as where we were going to lunch or for drinks after work. They were known to send a spy to our happy hours to pretend to be one of us. No joke.

Once we caught on to this, we pretty much had had enough of their BS, we started emailing each other in binary code. Dumb shit. Things that didn’t matter or mean anything. Just so whoever was spying would have to take the time to decode the message.

I remember thinking, how would I ever explain this to my wife if I got fired. “You got fired? For what.” “Um, for sending emails to my friends in binary code.” Yeah, that would have gone over real well.

They would love that story on the anti-work sub Reddit.

 

[BubsFinn]

As part of my job as a private chef, I deliver what I make to my boss’s adult kids and their families. I have a set route I take between everyone’s home so most days I’m on autopilot making the deliveries.
A few weeks ago, construction issues put me on a different path. The new path actually put me on the road I take to go home. Well, I hit that road and totally forgot about the food in my backseat. After making only 2 of my 3 planned stops, I called it a day and went home. It was Friday and I was ready to start my weekend.
Saturday morning I got in my car to grab some breakfast somewhere and I noticed the strong aroma of garlic. I immediately realized what I had done. I called the family I skipped the previous day and apologized profusely. I got lucky because they had made plans to eat out on Friday and have the meal I was supposed to bring on Saturday. I was able to remake everything and everyone was happy. It cost me a day off, which isn’t so bad.

 

[bagdropper]

My user name says it all. About 35ish years ago, I once "dropped a bag" at work.

While I was going to college, I had a book bag full of computer textbooks I had to haul around. Not wanting them to get stolen, I'd bring the book bag into work. I was a bartender at the time, so I'd stash the book bag behind the bar. One Friday night I walked in at 6pm, the store was getting crushed, and the early bartender no-showed, so a manager was bartending (poorly) with way more than he could handle. As I walked in, the hostesses all screamed at me "get to the bar FAST", etc.

To punch in I had to walk past the two wells. As I walked by, I sort of tossed the book bag onto the counter top of the 2nd well...and the book bag slid across it and fell over, bowling pin striking the liquor rails completely full of about 40ish different bottles of booze. This dislodged the rails from the ice bin they were mounted to.

Every damn bottle broke. "POP...POP...POP... The ENTIRE bar full of about 150 customers goes silent - and then gives the event and me a standing ovation.

The look on my manager's face...I thought it was going to explode Indiana Jones Last Crusade style.




The rest as they say is history. Whenever the rare occasion of seeing former co-workers from there, the 1st thing out of their mouths is not my name, but "It's the Bagdropper!"

 

[pink shizzle]

I don't know if this qualifies but whatever. Back in college I worked at a golf course and went to throw out some garbage with my coworker. There was a trash bag on the ground that started moving and a noise came out that sounded like a baby's whimper.
We immediately ran to the bag and opened it. Out came a skunk, turned around, and lifted its tail. We ran away fast AF and it didn't spray. Probably isn't the type of dumb this thread is about but it's what first popped into my head.

 

[beanerhawk]

This was about 20 years ago. I worked in sales for a super paranoid company. They wouldn’t allow you to email outside the company through normal email channels, like outlook. You had to email through their CRM. Nothing personal, you had to be 100% work all the time. There was once a memo put out about how long people were spending in the restrooms. We used to joke about having to wear seatbelts at our desks.

There was a small group of us that were anti-management. We were successful there despite how awful they were. We found out that they were monitoring our internal emails with each other. Every single email was being read. They knew if we were bitching, had potential big sales coming, and even as much as where we were going to lunch or for drinks after work. They were known to send a spy to our happy hours to pretend to be one of us. No joke.

Once we caught on to this, we pretty much had had enough of their BS, we started emailing each other in binary code. Dumb shit. Things that didn’t matter or mean anything. Just so whoever was spying would have to take the time to decode the message.

I remember thinking, how would I ever explain this to my wife if I got fired. “You got fired? For what.” “Um, for sending emails to my friends in binary code.” Yeah, that would have gone over real well.

I think a lot of people would be shocked at how many companies read their employees emails. I've had two jobs in the last 30 years and I know both companies do this from time to time. I know of a lot of other companies that do it as well from friends. Seems to be the norm anymore.