Which side of the bed...

[JustSayOV]

...do you bang OP's Mom on?

Ok now that we got that out of the way, the real question is what side of the bed do you and your spouse sleep on?

Assuming you are standing at the foot of the bed and facing the head board, I sleep on the right side and the No-Pic Wife sleeps on the left side.

Not sure why or how it ended up like that, but anything else seems weird.

Pretty sure husbands that sleep on the left side molest collies and are SOTE (did I do that right?)

What say you GIAOT?

***I should add give a reason for which side if one exists, so we can form a scientific hypothesis

 

[kn288]

I'm on the left, the wife on the right. I was closest to the door at our old house and that's how picked a side. We moved and the door is now on her side. We tried to switch sides but neither of us could adapt. Her side is the sex side. I'm not sleeping in that filth.

 

[runkpanole]

Standing facing the headboard, the left.

As for OPs mom, wherever she wants to be wheelbarrowed.

 

[QChawks]

I'm on the left, the wife on the right. I was closest to the door at our old house and that's how picked a side. We moved and the door is now on her side. We tried to switch sides but neither of us could adapt. Her side is the sex side. I'm not sleeping in that filth.

this

we also have sex on that side too

 

[BrunoMars420]

I sleep closest to the door just incase I have to escape the ghosts

 

[JustSayOV]

Huh....I don't have a reason, just seems like that's how it always has been.

Was curious if it was based on functionality like @kn288 says or coincided with if a person is right handed so they sleep on the right side or something like that.

 

[BelemNole]

I'm on the left. Why? Hell, it's been that way for nearly 30 years - I can't remember why.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

I usually don't bring her in from the pasture

 

[JustSayOV]

I usually don't bring her in from the pasture

 

[jamesvanderwulf]

AR 16 is under the left side of the bed, just in case...

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Middle.

 

[Mayland]

First of all, only a monster would describe the side of the bed in that fashion. The proper way is you’re lying on your back with your head at the head of the bed (duh). So using this correct method, I sleep on the right side of the bed.

 

[SeaPA]

I am over on the left with OPs wife.

 

[hawkbirch]

Mr. Birch on the left and I'm on the right. It used to be opposite but I don't even remember when it changed or why.

 

[The Tradition]

Left (according to OP's method) because it's closest to the bathroom.

 

[Tenacious E]

...do you bang OP's Mom on?

Ok now that we got that out of the way, the real question is what side of the bed do you and your spouse sleep on?

Assuming you are standing at the foot of the bed and facing the head board, I sleep on the right side and the No-Pic Wife sleeps on the left side.

Not sure why or how it ended up like that, but anything else seems weird.

Pretty sure husbands that sleep on the left side molest collies and are SOTE (did I do that right?)

What say you GIAOT?

***I should add give a reason for which side if one exists, so we can form a scientific hypothesis

Agreed.

 

[wjr1818]

I'm on the right and the lady is on the left. Why? Not quite sure. Probably from the college days. She has been closer to the door in both of our homes and probably should be switched around for protection but it is what it is. My glock is ready to go in the safe by my nightstand if needed.

 

[win1forthe]

For 25 years, slept on the left, but then she had to go on dialysis at night so we had to switch sides because of the machine. Changing sides was not easy for either of us after all of those years.

 

[SSG T]

Bed? Nah, dog...kitchen table, right where OP eats his dinner

 

[3boysmom]

He sleeps on the left, I sleep on the right. No idea why other than he claims that he can't sleep on the right. I can sleep wherever.

 

[SansAgain]

It would be the right side because my left hand sucks at using morning wood.

 

[noleclone2]

I am on the left, she is on the right and dog is in the middle.

 

[JustSayOV]

First of all, only a monster would describe the side of the bed in that fashion. The proper way is you’re lying on your back with your head at the head of the bed (duh). So using this correct method, I sleep on the right side of the bed.

I thought about going with the port and starboard method but just figured my way would be the easiest…..didn’t want to get into the M1 stuff and all that crap from the rank ‘em threads (which i still don’t think i understand).

And i must say…..surprised by all the left side husbands so far.

 

[JustSayOV]

For 25 years, slept on the left, but then she had to go on dialysis at night so we had to switch sides because of the machine. Changing sides was not easy for either of us after all of those years.

Sorry to hear about the dialysis….for real.

I could imagine it was hard to switch. I would struggle bad trying to flip to the other side….would just feel “off”

 

[SL Hawk Fan]

To say I sleep on the left side of the bed is probably a little misleading; left edge is more accurate.

And no guns in the bedroom; forces the wife to resort to pillow smothering when I snore, which at least gives me a fighting chance.

 

[NorthernHawkeye]

I'm always on the side closest the bathroom. I have to go throughout the night.

If we stay with relatives, friends or at a hotel, it's the same, which causes us to have to switch it up.

 

[ericram]

Middle.

Middle is challenging as I have to crawl over one to go pee in the middle of the night. Therefore I usually have one sleep on the floor. I choose after they asked me before they can get into bed.

 

[Menace Sockeyes]

I'm on the left, the wife on the right. I was closest to the door at our old house and that's how picked a side. We moved and the door is now on her side. We tried to switch sides but neither of us could adapt. Her side is the sex side. I'm not sleeping in that filth.

this

we also have sex on that side too

I'm on the left. Why? Hell, it's been that way for nearly 30 years - I can't remember why.

Mr. Birch on the left and I'm on the right. It used to be opposite but I don't even remember when it changed or why.

Left (according to OP's method) because it's closest to the bathroom.

He sleeps on the left, I sleep on the right. No idea why other than he claims that he can't sleep on the right. I can sleep wherever.

I am on the left, she is on the right and dog is in the middle.

Same. Real men sleep on the left, OP. Sorry you had to find out this way.

 

[JustSayOV]

Same. Real men sleep on the left, OP. Sorry you had to find out this way.

Thats what I am realizing and its making me question how I view the world and life in general….

Me, @wjr1818 and @Tenacious E are just lone wolves out here in this left side dominated world…

 

[Tenacious E]

Seems like the driving reasons for the wrong-minded majority are tiny bladders and protecting the wife from home invaders while living in a janky neighborhood. I’m comfortable with our minority.

 

[noleclone2]

Seems like the driving reasons for the wrong-minded majority are tiny bladders and protecting the wife from home invaders while living in a janky neighborhood. I’m comfortable with our minority.

Awww. That’s cute-you actually think the guy chooses which side we sleep on!

 

[Tenacious E]

Awww. That’s cute-you actually think the guy chooses which side we sleep on!

Fair.

 

[JustSayOV]

I'm always on the side closest the bathroom. I have to go throughout the night.

If we stay with relatives, friends or at a hotel, it's the same, which causes us to have to switch it up.

Not gonna lie.....I can't fathom this.

I can accept some are left side sleepers, but to willingly just mix it up back and forth depending where you are at, all in regards to the proximity of the bathroom seems preposterous!

 

[JustSayOV]

Seems like the driving reasons for the wrong-minded majority are tiny bladders and protecting the wife from home invaders while living in a janky neighborhood. I’m comfortable with our minority.

 

[THE_DEVIL]

AR 16 is under the left side of the bed, just in case...

she tries to get away?

 

[SL Hawk Fan]

Overthinking why real men are sleeping on the left. It’s pretty simple really. Most of us are right handed, I presume, and when spooning we want our dominant hand available for any massaging and “exploring” we might have in mind.

Wonder if the weirdos in the minority happen to be left-handed.

 

[JustSayOV]

Overthinking why real men are sleeping on the left. It’s pretty simple really. Most of us are right handed, I presume, and when spooning we want our dominant hand available for any massaging and “exploring” we might have in mind.

Wonder if the weirdos in the minority happen to be left-handed.

I am right handed.....but I 100% agree with this logic you present by way of scientific hypothesis.

For me, again I don't know why I ended up on the right side, it has always just been that way, BUT I will say I have become more than adequate with my left hand for the said "exploring" you mention in that exact scenario, which ultimately is a benefit as I would now consider myself proficient with both hands when the call of duty requires using either one.

 

[Hendy hawk]

Side closest to the bathroom.

 

[HawkMachine]

Why would some of you have sex on one side of the bed?

If you are having sex on a bed, the only place is the middle. Unless of course there's only one person on the bed and the other is standing or something.

Having sex on one side just seems really weird.

 

[jasonrann]

I am on the right, closest to the door in case the murdering (cough...allegedly) neighbor decides to pay a visit.