Work poop question?

[swagsurfer02]

When you wipe do you stand up? If so, what if you are tall enough to look over the stalls?


Not into the other ones, but at the people coming or going from them. You're still not supposed to make eye contact right?

Should I just keep my eyes closed?

 

[ping72]

Anyone over the age of 3 should not stand to wipe.

 

[swagsurfer02]

Anyone over the age of 3 should not stand to wipe.

Like physical age or maturity wise?

 

[moral_victory]

Stand to wipe?

 

[QChawks]

Stand up wipe?

You're doing it wrong.

 

[IACub]

Who stands to wipe? What the hell is that all about?

 

[swagsurfer02]

It feels wrong to sit and wipe...


Is this an etiquette thing?

 

[BelemNole]

You know how sometimes you're in the bathrooms at work and some weirdo is doing something in the stall next door, you can see his feet facing the wrong direction, he's shuffling all around, and you're thinking to yourself WTF is going on in there! You're that guy.

 

[naturalmwa]

I get it, sometimes it takes both hands to hold it out of the water.

 

[Funky Bunch]

You know how sometimes you're in the bathrooms at work and some weirdo is doing something in the stall next door, you can see his feet facing the wrong direction, he's shuffling all around, and you're thinking to yourself WTF is going on in there! You're that guy.

 

[QChawks]

It feels wrong to sit and wipe...


Is this an etiquette thing?

Is this a black thang?

 

[TankHawk]

Nothing wrong with doing a final "finish" extra wipe after you stand up just to make sure, otherwise the previous comments about not standing up if you're older than 3 are correct.

 

[Pepperman]

Swag, if you are a stand up wiper, in these situations you need to be aware of the surroundings with extra care. Nobody else in the room, obviously you do your thing however you want. If somebody else is there, you need to be careful to crouch down a bit. Your thighs will get used to it after a time or two, and you'll never have the oddity of making eye contact over the stall height again.

 

[TailgateTom]

There's nothing worse then when in an emergency, you HAVE to use the facilities at the rest stop along the interstate. Inevitably, there are these shrimpy little half walls that separate the toilets. After sitting down, you realize you are staring eye to eye with the person pinching a loaf next to you. If you ever find yourself in this position, pray the only open stall isn't next to the urinal....

 

[naturalmwa]

Is this a black thang?

I think it might be the white side talking. As anyone with any ass is going to have a harder time digging in there after they stand.

 

[ping72]

I think it might be the white side talking. As anyone with any ass is going to have a harder time digging in there after they stand.

Plus once you've stood up you just clapped the cheeks together and smushed the poop all over them, much harder to clean.

If you simply tilt to the side you gain direct and immediate access before it spreads.

Reaching between your legs and smearing it on your coin purse is also incorrect.

 

[kn288]

I'm with you swag. Standing is the only way to wipe. And yes you don't make eye contact with anyone while wiping. I'm 6'4" so I see over most stalls. For those that sit, you're ghey.

 

[naturalmwa]

I'm with you swag. Standing is the only way to wipe. And yes you don't make eye contact with anyone while wiping. I'm 6'4" so I see over most stalls. For those that sit, you're ghey.

That's logical. We do have the inside scoop on the mechanics of crack managment.

 

[Fan In Black]

I stand to poop and sit to wipe

 

[swagsurfer02]

Swag, if you are a stand up wiper, in these situations you need to be aware of the surroundings with extra care. Nobody else in the room, obviously you do your thing however you want. If somebody else is there, you need to be careful to crouch down a bit. Your thighs will get used to it after a time or two, and you'll never have the oddity of making eye contact over the stall height again.

My thighs get quite the workout!

 

[fredjr82]

Swag is the type of guy who puts the milk in the bowl first then the cereal. No wonder his presence annoys me so often.

 

[BABiscuit]

Swag is the type of guy who puts the milk in the bowl first then the cereal. No wonder his presence annoys me so often.

That reminded of me of a miracle whip commercial where they spread the mayo over the lunch meat. Do people really make sandwiches like that. Am I doing it wrong buy spreading the mayo on the bread?

 

[fredjr82]

That reminded of me of a miracle whip commercial where they spread the mayo over the lunch meat. Do people really make sandwiches like that. Am I doing it wrong buy spreading the mayo on the bread?

 

[SSG T]

It feels wrong to sit and wipe...


Is this an etiquette thing?

If you stand, don't your butt cheeks press together? If so, how do you effectively clean yourself? Sitting allows for cleanliness without extra wipes.

 

[SSG T]

Plus once you've stood up you just clapped the cheeks together and smushed the poop all over them, much harder to clean.

If you simply tilt to the side you gain direct and immediate access before it spreads.

Reaching between your legs and smearing it on your coin purse is also incorrect.

See, this is why I need to remind myself to read the entire thread before I respond.

 

[Vroom_C14]

I get it, sometimes it takes both hands to hold it out of the water.

I see a bromance brewing here...

 

[zwick99]

When you wipe do you stand up? If so, what if you are tall enough to look over the stalls?


Not into the other ones, but at the people coming or going from them. You're still not supposed to make eye contact right?

Should I just keep my eyes closed?

I heard a funny true story the other day . A guy I listen to on sports talk has a sister station in the same building that is a country station. The sports talk go goes into the bathroom and the bathroom has a sound system with the radio on. As he is standing at the urinal someone walks in behind him and at the same time an old Aerosmith song comes across the radio. The new guy shouts yea baby and starts singing the Aerosmith song. The sports talk guy sarcastically shouts, "You sound just like him." The sports guy then turns around and it is Steve Tyler. Apparently Steve Tyler has a country song coming out and he stopped in the country station to promote it last week.

 

[fredjr82]

I heard a funny true story the other day . A guy I listen to on sports talk has a sister station in the same building that is a country station. The sports talk go goes into the bathroom and the bathroom has a sound system with the radio on. As he is standing at the urinal someone walks in behind him and at the same time an old Aerosmith song comes across the radio. The new guy shouts yea baby and starts singing the Aerosmith song. The sports talk guy sarcastically shouts, "You sound just like him." The sports guy then turns around and it is Steve Tyler. Apparently Steve Tyler has a country song coming out and he stopped in the country station to promote it last week.

The sports guy was probably correct unless Grandpa Tyler had an autotune machine strapped to his back. Dude looks like a lady (/pun)

 

[naturalmwa]

I see a bromance brewing here...

That's why I work showers into my foreplay.

 

[fredjr82]

That's why I work showers into my foreplay.

When you're with a woman though all the "natural" lubricant washes down the drain with the shower. Another advantage of enjoying the "love rocket" I guess

 

[zwick99]

The sports guy was probably correct unless Grandpa Tyler had an autotune machine strapped to his back. Dude looks like a lady (/pun)

The sports guy was being sarcastic. He basically was implying the guy sounded like chit but then it turned out to be Steve Tyler.

 

[ping72]

The sports guy was being sarcastic. He basically was implying the guy sounded like chit but then it turned out to be Steve Tyler.

Fred understood that.

 

[fredjr82]

The sports guy was being sarcastic. He basically was implying the guy sounded like chit but then it turned out to be Steve Tyler.

 

[naturalmwa]

When you're with a woman though all the "natural" lubricant washes down the drain with the shower. Another advantage of enjoying the "love rocket" I guess

J Lube is fun in the shower. You have to work to wash it away and that's the whole point.

 

[fredjr82]

J Lube is fun in the shower. You have to work to wash it away and that's the whole point.

F that!! I can't stand soft water because it never feels like you get the soap washed off. I'm not messing around with non-water-soluble lube.

 

[naturalmwa]

F that!! I can't stand soft water because it never feels like you get the soap washed off. I'm not messing around with non-water-soluble lube.

It is water based, it just has staying power. Its cheap too, like $15 for 5 gallons. You can really slam it home, but don't try to pick her up in your arms, you may end up in the hospital. Get a bath mat too. Handles in the shower are not just for old people.

 

[fredjr82]

It is water based, it just has staying power. Its cheap too, like $15 for 5 gallons. You can really slam it home, but don't try to pick her up in your arms, you may end up in the hospital. Get a bath mat too. Handles in the shower are not just for old people.

 

[IACub]

Why does every thread turn into a discussion about Steven Tyler and lubrication? I miss the days when everything was political.

 

[swagsurfer02]

Swag is the type of guy who puts the milk in the bowl first then the cereal. No wonder his presence annoys me so often.

I do this on the second bowl, as I never finish all of the milk!

 

[SailorJerryHawk]

There's nothing worse then when in an emergency, you HAVE to use the facilities at the rest stop along the interstate. Inevitably, there are these shrimpy little half walls that separate the toilets. After sitting down, you realize you are staring eye to eye with the person pinching a loaf next to you. If you ever find yourself in this position, pray the only open stall isn't next to the urinal....

I wouldn't think it wouldn't matter if one had to poop that bad. We are all humans.Now if that guy next to you sounds like he was giving birth,maybe a quick shoutout to ask if he is okay would be cool.