Are you better off financially at this point in your life than your parents were at the same age?

[nolesincebirth]

The other thread got me wondering.

I grew up lower middle class. We weren’t “poor” but we were financially challenged. It wasn’t unusual for the bank to send threatening letters about delinquencies. We had a nice house but couldn’t afford it. Name brand clothes were a rarity.

I am now upper middle class. My kids have no idea what generic items are and I’m on path to pay off my house 10 years early. So I’m substantially better off financially than when I grew up. But my wife and I have and continue to work our asses off which I feel is somewhat detrimental as we’re firmly in the rat-race.

But I’m curious how many have really been able to change their social status through hard work (as opposed to inheritance, gifts, etc). Is the American dream still alive? I don’t know many (if any) that went from dirt poor to rich. Most, like me, went from low middle class to upper. A significant improvement, no doubt, but still middle class.

 

[JRHawk2003]

Divorced Parents. Better off than mom and stepdad; yes. Better off than Dad; No.

 

[NorthernHawkeye]

Marry a good woman and love and support one another.

Divorce is a cancer on our society. It hurts so many people.

 

[hawkbirch]

We had just enough growing up. I don't remember going without the necessities but expensive, name brand clothes just weren't an option for me. I have no doubt that my mom went without regularly to make sure that we had the most she could give us. Mr. Birch grew up mostly the same. Both parents worked because they had to.

We have wildly exceeded what our parents had and also what I dreamed as being possible when I was a child. My challenge is giving my kids the same work ethic Mr. Birch and I learned out of necessity.

 

[Bonerfarts]

The other thread got me wondering.

I grew up lower middle class. We weren’t “poor” but we were financially challenged. It wasn’t unusual for the bank to send threatening letters about delinquencies. We had a nice house but couldn’t afford it. Name brand clothes were a rarity.

I am now upper middle class. My kids have no idea what generic items are and I’m on path to pay off my house 10 years early. So I’m substantially better off financially than when I grew up. But my wife and I have and continue to work our asses off which I feel is somewhat detrimental as we’re firmly in the rat-race.

But I’m curious how many have really been able to change their social status through hard work (as opposed to inheritance, gifts, etc). Is the American dream still alive? I don’t know many (if any) that went from dirt poor to rich. Most, like me, went from low middle class to upper. A significant improvement, no doubt, but still middle class.

My grandfather only had a 6th grade education. He grew up poor on a farm and made ends meet by farming and driving a truck. He went from poor to working class and was very proud of his accomplishments. My mother and father both grew up poor and climbed from working class (when they had us kids) to middle class when they retired. At 30 I made more money than both of my parents earned combined the year they retired. I would say we are middle class/upper middle, but to be fair, the wife (no pics) had a lawyer as father and might be a slight step down (she is a teacher).

My kids have their work cut out for them to keep progressing.

 

[StormHawk42]

I assume so because wife and I both make good $$$ and my parents were a single income household. Granted my dad was the small town lawyer for everyone so we had a very comfortable upbringing but in his early 30s (like me currently), I know running his own practice was tough financially because clients don’t like to pay.

 

[The Tradition]

Also divorced parents. Much better off than mom... not quite at the same place as dad, but I'm getting closer.

 

[SoMplsHawkI]

I would say it's about the same. Any thing I would want is within reach as it was fory my parents when they were retired 10 years.

My kids will be far more financially secure when they reach my age.

 

[Titanhawk2]

much

 

[Hoosierhawkeye]

No

 

[Jan Itor]

Marry a good woman and love and support one another.

Divorce is a cancer on our society. It hurts so many people.

When you say marry a good woman, do you mean one that can take a punch?

 

[Tenacious E]

The other thread got me wondering.

I grew up lower middle class. We weren’t “poor” but we were financially challenged. It wasn’t unusual for the bank to send threatening letters about delinquencies. We had a nice house but couldn’t afford it. Name brand clothes were a rarity.

I am now upper middle class. My kids have no idea what generic items are and I’m on path to pay off my house 10 years early. So I’m substantially better off financially than when I grew up. But my wife and I have and continue to work our asses off which I feel is somewhat detrimental as we’re firmly in the rat-race.

But I’m curious how many have really been able to change their social status through hard work (as opposed to inheritance, gifts, etc). Is the American dream still alive? I don’t know many (if any) that went from dirt poor to rich. Most, like me, went from low middle class to upper. A significant improvement, no doubt, but still middle class.

I am hardly a classic "rags-to-riches" story, but I am doing marginally better than my parents were at 48. Although they were doing very well, I am doing better at the same age. My dad finished very strong though, and I have a ways to go to get where he currently is financially perched, at the age of 80. The more interesting aspect of this is that both my brother and I were adopted as infants, from different families, so we did come from "rags."

In high school, he was decidedly not an athlete, and had a pony tail. He went to an Ivy, married someone from said Ivy who also went to Wharton and worked on Wall Street as an investment banker, and they are rich AF. He retired a couple of years ago and is 52, mostly due to the money his wife brought in.

As for me, I was very much a "jock" in high school. I did not go to an Ivy (but have a more advanced professional degree than him), and I married a social worker and not a Wall Street investment banker. Consequently, I am not rich AF and I am chiseling away in the rat race like you OP. But, if things continue as they are, I hope to retire no older than 58, or 60 at the latest, and be much better off financially than my parents were at that point.

So I like to think of our family as a good data point in the nature versus nurture debate. The keys to success for both my brother and I were learning how to learn throughout childhood, maxing out educational opportunities available to each of us (including networking), and not having to pay for those educational opportunities until after undergrad.

csb

 

[nolesincebirth]

I am hardly a classic "rags-to-riches" story, but I am doing marginally better than my parents were at 48. They were doing very well, but I am doing better at the same age. My dad finished very strong though, and I have a ways to go to get where he currently is financially perched, at the age of 80. The more interesting aspect of this is that both my brother and I were adopted as infants, from different families, so we did come from "rags."

In high school, he was decidedly not an athlete, and had a pony tail. He went to an Ivy, married someone from said Ivy who also went to Wharton and worked on Wall Street as an investment banker, and they are rich AF. He retired a couple of years ago and is 52, mostly due to the money his wife brought in.

As for me, I was very much a "jock" in high school. I did not go to an Ivy (but have a more advanced professional degree than him), and I married a social worker and not a Wall Street investment banker. Consequently, I am not rich AF and I am chiseling away in the rat race like you OP. But, if things continue as they are, I hope to retire no older than 58, or 60 at the latest, and be much better off financially than my parents were at that point.

So I like to think of our family as a good data point in the nature versus nurture debate. The keys to success for both my brother and I were learning how to learn throughout childhood, maxing out educational opportunities available to each of us (including networking), and not having to pay for those educational opportunities until after undergrad.

csb

Cool story and interesting dynamics. I’m a firm believer in nurture.

And I’m curious to see how education plays a role in everyone’s answers.

I had to pay for every penny of my college. I worked to pay my rent and bills and took out student loans for tuition. By the time I finished law school, I was over $130k in debt.

It took me just at 20 years to pay it off. But I’m done. But that debt was a burden I carried for a long time.

 

[Old_wrestling_fan]

My wife and I are very significantly better off than either set of parents, or any grandparents. To me, the American Dream is still alive in the sense that we worked for it and had essentially nothing given to us in the form of inheritance, college money, etc.

Meanwhile, we are also very significantly ahead of almost all of our collective siblings, with the one exception being a brother of mine that married into a family that "has money". For the most part, various choices and ahem, habits, derailed the financial progress of all of the other siblings IMO.

There are many pitfalls and even shortcuts to nowhere that make achieving the dream challenging, but it is doable for sure.

 

[ConvenientParking]

I make more money than either of them. Also have more debt than either. Live in a much more expensive town (Des Moines lol) than we ever did growing up. If I didn't, I wouldn't make more money than either of them and the debt would suck even more.

 

[Mayland]

Divorced parents. When my mom died I got exactly 0 dollars. When dad died my two siblings and I inherited a $50,000 house. It was only worth that much because of an upswing in oil drilling activity in western North Dakota.
So needless to say I didn’t grow up with much. My kids won’t get rich off my estate but they’ll have something.

 

[Jerome Silberman]

Pretty comparable. Our household income is probably higher, but COL and inflation have probably made that a wash. The biggest difference is that my family lives in Iowa City vs growing up in a town of about 1,400.

 

[QChawks]

Yes, as neither of my parents went to college.
They created a nice living being self employed but would have been classified as more low/mid class.
Although they were great at savings and investing.

 

[Car-go]

Yes, far better

 

[Tenacious E]

Cool story and interesting dynamics. I’m a firm believer in nurture.

And I’m curious to see how education plays a role in everyone’s answers.

I had to pay for every penny of my college. I worked to pay my rent and bills and took out student loans for tuition. By the time I finished law school, I was over $130k in debt.

It took me just at 20 years to pay it off. But I’m done. But that debt was a burden I carried for a long time.

I was "lucky" to have the GI Bill pay for a good chunk of my post-undergraduate schooling, although I paid into the GI Bill fund (was a requirement at the time) and the benefits then were nowhere near as good as they are now. And, of course I "lost" four years of prime earning potential serving in the Air Force, but we had some savings heading into school 2.0. I went to a state school with in-state tuition (kept my Iowa residence specifically for that purpose while living in Boston), and I had a small amount of loans which I paid off quickly.

 

[nolesincebirth]

I was "lucky" to have the GI Bill pay for a good chunk of my post-undergraduate schooling, although I paid into the GI Bill fund (was a requirement at the time) and the benefits then were nowhere near as good as they are now. And, of course I "lost" four years of prime earning potential serving in the Air Force, but we had some savings heading into school 2.0. I went to a state school with in-state tuition (kept my Iowa residence specifically for that purpose while living in Boston), and I had a small amount of loans which I paid off quickly.

I figure you worked for it too. Just a different route. Military service / GI Bill isn’t a freebie. Just a different form of paying your way.

 

[Tenacious E]

I figure you worked for it too. Just a different route. Military service / GI Bill isn’t a freebie. Just a different form of paying your way.

True. It was a roll of the dice as to where we (got married out of college when she was 22, and I was 23, which seems bonkers now) got stationed. Ended up in Massachusetts in the Boston metro. Obviously great schools there but they are private and expensive, so I ruled those out (assuming I could have gotten in). If I got stationed in Virginia, I would have gotten an MBA from Darden or a law degree from UVA. There were a couple of other possibilities if I got stationed in Florida or Ohio, but the reality was Iowa was going to be my cheapest route by far, and my wife wanted to return to Iowa where her family was (mine had moved out of Iowa during college). At that point, since the law school was higher ranked than the business school, I opted for law school. Hardly a romantic reason for going into it. I have always been a pretty pragmatic person.

 

[SSG T]

No. The big things they spent on, cars/house/etc, were a far lower % of their monthly pay than we've had. Adjusted for inflation, they made less than us, but had more disposable income in real dollars (not adjusted for inflation).

Prices on everything went up at a higher rate than salaries.

 

[MitchLL]

I was raised on a farm and my parents couldn't afford kids until by dad was 35.

So, yes, I'm better off.

 

[bunsen82]

Financially yes. However came from a high middle class income so honestly not much difference on impact on financial dynamics.

 

[BlIIlken2]

Yes because

 

[seminoleed]

Absolutely, much better.

 

[hawkeyeandy]

No. My dad was an engineer and made good money. My stepmother was a teacher and did not make good money. But together, they did pretty well. They did not spend on material things. We had used cars and lived in a trailer for a while until they bought the old farmhouse next door. My dad paid fully for my college education. Now, at 88, he's in a memory care facility but has the savings and investments to pay for it.
I, on the other hand, and my (no pic) wife are public school teachers. We do OK, but I couldn't pay for all of my children's education, just my family obligation. We save and invest but we sure don't have the money banked that my dad has.

 

[BelemNole]

At my current age? Probably not. Dad was onto his second career by then and at about my age became president of a worldwide engineering firm.

 

[JMNSHO]

Nope

 

[JWolf74]

We had just enough growing up. I don't remember going without the necessities but expensive, name brand clothes just weren't an option for me. I have no doubt that my mom went without regularly to make sure that we had the most she could give us. Mr. Birch grew up mostly the same. Both parents worked because they had to.

We have wildly exceeded what our parents had and also what I dreamed as being possible when I was a child. My challenge is giving my kids the same work ethic Mr. Birch and I learned out of necessity.

Very similar. Lower middle class. All necessities were available but there wasn't name brand clothing. We never went on vacation (even now, I think my folks have only ever gone on vacation a few times). Dad worked 2 jobs, mom as a secretary. My brother and I were first generation college, and both subsequently med school. They couldn't help pay for it at all but instilled in me a work ethic and to value education. My dad told me many times he'd quit his job and come and hold my hand in class until I graduated college if necessary. And he was dead serious. My challenge with be to not raise spoiled kids. As they get older I plan to inform them I'm planning on dieing almost penniless. They will have had every advantage growing up, but it's on them after that.

 

[Flie]

I make more money through my job than their combined income at the same age although they had more accumulated wealth at this point in their lives.

 

[SeaPA]

Far better off than my parents were at my age, for a few reasons (mostly thanks to them and the sacrifices they made through the years).

Both of my parents grew up poor. Mom was one of 7 kids, whose father had a junkyard in a small town in PA. Dad was one of two boys; his father was a sorry human being - heavy drinker who frequently would not come home on weekend nights, and it was generally better when he didn't because when he did he was drunk & physically abusive to everyone in the house. He worked on the docks in Boston; my dad often laughed about how he grew to hate lobster because it was often the only thing they'd have to eat for several days (part of the pay to the dock workers was that they got to take home the unsold lobster (i.e. the ones missing a claw, or that were damaged in some way that restaurants/seafood shops didn't want them).
In his late 20s, early 30s, my dad worked fulltime (mostly manual labor jobs) to house and feed our family (I'm the youngest of 5 siblings), and went to school at night to get his college degree & become a CPA. Once he established his career, he put my siblings & I through college & helped as best he could as we were starting our own lives.
On my end, it helped financially that my wife & I did not have kids until later in life (early 40s for me); my career was well-established & we already had socked away a decent amount of money before those two money-pits entered our lives.

 

[JWolf74]

I make more money through my job than their combined income at the same age although they had more accumulated wealth at this point in their lives.

Yeah, I'm doing much better now at 36 than they were. But they bought a house in their mid 20s on modest incomes with no degrees. It wasn't even within reach for me until after residency, and that was only because of specific physician loans that require no down payment (basically geared towards residents/recent grads with great future earning potential).

 

[Tenacious E]

Very similar. Lower middle class. All necessities were available but there wasn't name brand clothing. We never went on vacation (even now, I think my folks have only ever gone on vacation a few times). Dad worked 2 jobs, mom as a secretary. My brother and I were first generation college, and both subsequently med school. They couldn't help pay for it at all but instilled in me a work ethic and to value education. My dad told me many times he'd quit his job and come and hold my hand in class until I graduated college if necessary. And he was dead serious. My challenge with be to not raise spoiled kids. As they get older I plan to inform them I'm planning on dieing almost penniless. They will have had every advantage growing up, but it's on them after that.

It's a fine line. I want my kids to go forth in life in kick ass on their own two feet, but I also want them to follow their dreams regardless of how it is compensated. I feel like if we pay for their education and they feel like they have a financial safety net, they will take risks and follow their hearts and live the lives they want. On the other hand, there could be a failure to launch if they feel like they will always be taken care of. Sometimes I am not sure we are handling it correctly, but one is a senior in high school and the other is a freshman, and we will not really know until we see how colleges goes for each of them...

 

[HawkeyeShawn]

Better than my parents at age 52, by a long shot. My parents were broke most of their lives. My Mom passed at age 60, 15 years ago. They were bankrupt when she passed. My Dads been able to accumulate a couple million as his small excavation business thrived over the last 15 years. It helps not having my mother’s medical expenses weighting him down.

 

[Red Hills Nole]

I'm 64, never married , no children ( although I have helped support a couple of young ladies in exchange for "considerations") I worked for the same corporation all or part of every year from 1975 thru 2020. My employer had/has a very generous employee stock ownership plan that I took advantage of . Upon retirement I , while by no means what I would call "rich", had enough to allow me to purchase my home admittedly a trailer and another for my younger brother. My parents were both hard working religious folks who raised five of us to varying outcomes. My step-father worked in various and several jobs over the years from selling insurance to driving a beer truck. My Mother did secretarial work mostly for the State of Florida. So I guess technically I'm in better shape than they were.

 

[Formerly Rockymtnole]

Yes, by far. Difference between community college and professional degrees. The older I get the more I realized how stretched we probably were at times but us kids never knew it and they sacrificed personally so we could have money for braces, college, etc. We were lucky to have such good folks.

 

[Scott559]

Both parents died at age 57, Their house was paid for, Overall estate value was around 150k, All assets split amongst 3 kids.
I am mid 60’s, Divorced with grown kids, My house is paid off as well as car, No debt. I make decent money, Have a solid 401k so I am in pretty good shape for retirement.

 

[unsubstantiated]

I pay more in taxes than my Dad ever earned.