Dating

[Mike Zierath]

No. Some of them? Sure. Hell, even a majority of them.

You have to remember how easy it is to start a side relationship these days with some "old flame". Some modern women just get F'd over by that time and time again. Women also aren't apt to jump right back in after something like that. So some just "slip through the cracks".

I was luck enough to find one of them. Is she perfect? No, but who is? She's like nobody I've ever met before.

You should probably tell her........

Z

 

[fredjr82]

You should probably tell her........

Z

I do.

 

[Joes Place]

I do.

I now pronounce you: man and husband....
😉

 

[torbee]

Sure. For men though it gets easier as we both age. Sorry to the ladies of HROT, but men age better. When women are younger they normally date asswipes, the "bad boy" phase. After they get through that phase they're looking for someone who connects with then. It certainly helps to be good looking, charming, successful, etc (all of which I am) but women become much more accepting, as long as you treat them well, in their mid 30s

I was told by a divorcee friend of mine (female) that if I was not married and on a dating app I would “clean up” and this is despite being chubby and fairly average looking.

She said post 40 —- if a guy is gainfully employed, moderately intelligent, dresses decently and isn’t heinously ugly —— he basically has an unending opportunity to get with horny, lonely MILFS.

I have to say I was intrigued 🙂.

But not enough to risk my marriage.

 

[HawkRugged17]

 

[fredjr82]

I now pronounce you: man and husband....
😉

Marriage is still a 4 letter word to me

 

[Nole Lou]

While the divorce rate is way way too high I will point out that the divorce rate is inflated because that's a percent of all marriage that end in divorce. So what you get is a lot of people who have been married and divorced like 5 or 6 times driving up the stats.

If you look somewhere around 40% of first marriages end in divorce give or take a few percentage points.

Which means that 60% of first marriages fulfill "til death do us part"

Is 60% too low. YES. But it's also a majority.



This is absolutely true. You have to chose the marriage even when it sucks. Wife and I had some tough times that we got through too. Times when it might have been easy to quit. We mostly didn't quit because we didn't believe in quitting. We have had about 3 to 4 straight good years after having probably just as many bad years and I hope it stays this way forever but I'm also aware it might get tough again.

I believe that 60% for first time marriages goes up considerably with other factors as well, like college education, not being in poverty, not being under 21, etc.

For a lot of people, their circumstances dictate the odds of their marriage being successful are very strongly in their favor.

Not that someone should decide whether or not to get married based on statistics. But I do hear a lot of people saying "most marriages end in divorce", when statistically, their chances for a successful marriage are probably closer to 75%.

 

[seminole97]

Not that someone should decide whether or not to get married based on statistics. But I do hear a lot of people saying "most marriages end in divorce", when statistically, their chances for a successful marriage are probably closer to 75%.

So, slightly worse than Russian Roulette?

 

[Hoosierhawkeye]

I believe that 60% for first time marriages goes up considerably with other factors as well, like college education, not being in poverty, not being under 21, etc.

For a lot of people, their circumstances dictate the odds of their marriage being successful are very strongly in their favor.

Not that someone should decide whether or not to get married based on statistics. But I do hear a lot of people saying "most marriages end in divorce", when statistically, their chances for a successful marriage are probably closer to 75%.

The age thing is interesting though. There is this sweet spot of getting married between like 25 and 30 that has the lowest chances. Before 25 your chances are higher and they are really high if you are under 20.

But they go up after 30.

My hypothesis is that after 30 you start to become too individualistic as an adult. So ideally you want to hit the spot where you are mature enough for marriage but not spend so much time single/dating that you get set in your own ways and change becomes more difficult for you.

 

[fredjr82]

I was told by a divorcee friend of mine (female) that if I was not married and on a dating app I would “clean up” and this is despite being chubby and fairly average looking.

She said post 40 —- if a guy is gainfully employed, moderately intelligent, dresses decently and isn’t heinously ugly —— he basically has an unending opportunity to get with horny, lonely MILFS.

I have to say I was intrigued 🙂.

But not enough to risk my marriage.

I concur with her conclusion. Fish in a barrel

 

[SiouxCyty]

Loneliness. At 45 for a woman and 50 for a man, the desperation needle is off the charts.

Was married for 7 years and was divorced at 37. Took counseling and never dated for a year. Hardest part for me was lack of companionship. Remarried about 3 years later going on 25 now. Key is to not look for same person you had.

 

[Nole Lou]

The age thing is interesting though. There is this sweet spot of getting married between like 25 and 30 that has the lowest chances. Before 25 your chances are higher and they are really high if you are under 20.

But they go up after 30.

My hypothesis is that after 30 you start to become too individualistic as an adult. So ideally you want to hit the spot where you are mature enough for marriage but not spend so much time single/dating that you get set in your own ways and change becomes more difficult for you.

Agreed. Speaking as someone that got married quite young by today's standards (23), it's not even a matter of that you get too selfish or set in your ways in a self-centered sense. It's more that when you get married young, most of your "ways" are mutual. There's so much that you haven't done at 25 that you can work out together, and a lot less at 35.

It's like the TV in bed thing. If someone has fallen asleep to the TV for ten years and can only fall asleep that way, and the other person has always only slept in total darkness and silence for ten years...that can be hard to work out.

If neither is established, then you just pick one and see how it works. If you put in a TV, and then one person realizes they can't sleep with a TV in the room, you turn it off. Nobody "loses" anything they're accustomed to.

(I'm not arguing in favor of having to get married young-ish, only that I think it gets more of a bad rap than it deserves. If you're 26, and you've found "the one", the age isn't a problem).