Dumb joke that made me chuckle

[DooBi]

A young monk joins an abbey and dedicates his life to copying ancient religious texts. After the first day he talks to the head monk. "Father, we are copying texts from copies made with copies of copies. If there is a mistake we would never know. Also if there is a mistake we will keep making the same mistake over and over."

The head monk decides he better go to the basement and check the originals for mistakes. After being in the basement for 2 days the young monk decides to check on him.

When he gets down there he sees the old monk hunched over an original document crying his eyes out. He looks like he's been weeping for a very long time. The young monk says "father are you ok?"

The old monk, between sobs, says "Dear lord Jesus... the word is cele-BRATE"

 

[TDJ7]

 

[DFSNOLE]

A young monk joins an abbey and dedicates his life to copying ancient religious texts. After the first day he talks to the head monk. "Father, we are copying texts from copies made with copies of copies. If there is a mistake we would never know. Also if there is a mistake we will keep making the same mistake over and over."

The head monk decides he better go to the basement and check the originals for mistakes. After being in the basement for 2 days the young monk decides to check on him.

When he gets down there he sees the old monk hunched over an original document crying his eyes out. He looks like he's been weeping for a very long time. The young monk says "father are you ok?"

The old monk, between sobs, says "Dear lord Jesus... the word is cele-BRATE"

I'll give you a like for the effort.

 

[tumorboy]

A man walks into a bar.
Man then says ouch.

 

[DFSNOLE]

Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That's the punch line.

 

[DFSNOLE]

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

 

[SoonerBeAHawk]

Reminded me of an old, old, classic commercial:




And apparently Brother Dominic was reprised a few years ago to reflect the change in technology since. Kinda cool to compare:

 

[Ray Kinsella]

When is a joke a dad joke? When it's apparent.

What do you call someone who isn't a dad but tells dad jokes? A faux pa.

 

[DFSNOLE]

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

 

[GOHOX69]

2 out of 3 people laughed including myself! Nice!

 

[CarolinaHawkeye]

A young monk joins an abbey and dedicates his life to copying ancient religious texts. After the first day he talks to the head monk. "Father, we are copying texts from copies made with copies of copies. If there is a mistake we would never know. Also if there is a mistake we will keep making the same mistake over and over."

The head monk decides he better go to the basement and check the originals for mistakes. After being in the basement for 2 days the young monk decides to check on him.

When he gets down there he sees the old monk hunched over an original document crying his eyes out. He looks like he's been weeping for a very long time. The young monk says "father are you ok?"

The old monk, between sobs, says "Dear lord Jesus... the word is cele-BRATE"

Your best post ever.

 

[86Hawkeye]

2 out of 3 people laughed including myself! Nice!

2/3 of me laughed.

 

[DFSNOLE]

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!

 

[DooBi]

How did Luke get around the forests of Endoor?

Ewoked

 

[GOHOX69]

How did Luke get around the forests of Endoor?

Ewoked

These are dumb but funny. Have you considered a career in stand up?

 

[JWolf74]

A horse walks into a bar.

The other patrons get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

 

[GOHOX69]

A horse walks into a bar.

The other patrons get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

Nice.

 

[DFSNOLE]

My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?"

I told him, "No it doesn't"

 

[GOHOX69]

These jokes are brilliant! More please!

 

[DFSNOLE]

Five out of four people admit they're bad with fractions.

 

[DFSNOLE]

After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.

 

[GOHOX69]

I actually have depression and this thread is the first time I've had less depressive thoughts this month.

 

[DFSNOLE]

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"

 

[DFSNOLE]

Some people can't distinguish between etymology and entomology. They bug me in ways I can't put into words.

 

[DFSNOLE]

One that should go well in Iowa....

A farmer had a three legged pig and his neighbor asked him why the pig had only three legs. "Well, I'll tell you" the farmer replied. "One day I was plowing my field and the tractor turned over and pinned me underneath. That pig ran for help. He saved my life". "Oh, that's how he lost his leg?" the neighbor drawled. "No. One night my wife and I were sound asleep and the house caught on fire. That pig woke us up. He saved our lives!" "So that's how he lost his leg", stated the neighbor. "No, that wasn't it" the farmer affirmed. Exasperated, the neighbor demanded "Then how did he lose his leg?" and the farmer replied, "When you have a pig that good, you don't eat him all at once!"

 

[tumorboy]

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Primates

 

[DFSNOLE]

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

 

[GOHOX69]

Some people can't distinguish between etymology and entomology. They bug me in ways I can't put into words.

Haha

 

[GOHOX69]

This room is rockin. On fire!

 

[DFSNOLE]

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

 

[DFSNOLE]

If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $ 6.30 now.

 

[JWolf74]

What do you call a 3 legged dog?

Bernard. Because that's what his owner named him.

 

[JWolf74]

What do you call a dairy cow who no longer produces milk?

Steak.

 

[DFSNOLE]

I can't be the only one reading many of these in Steven Wright's voice.

 

[DooBi]

What will we call this giant piece of advertising?

Phil: a philboard.
Bill: I've got a better idea

 

[DFSNOLE]

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

 

[LesClaypool]

I had no idea DFS had this kind of joke game.

Bravo my man!

 

[billanole]

I had no idea DFS had this kind of joke game.

Bravo my man!

He showed up biggly.

 

[LuteHawk]

Pope John Paul II was the first pope to visit the White House.
He came in October of 1979. He was greeted by President Carter.

After they meet for a private meeting, there was mutual bond of
friendship. President Jimmy Carter extended a warm invitation to
the Pope to return again and said: "Next time bring your wife".

 

[LuteHawk]

During a Winter storm, a young man stopped at a farmer's
house. He asked if he could stay overnight. The farmer said
that was possible, but he would need to sleep in a bedroom
with a red head.. The next morning the young man told the
farmer that he enjoyed sleeping with his red headed son.