I went to the doctor about my short-term memory loss. The first thing he did was make me pay in advance.
Dumb joke that made me chuckle
- Thread starter DooBi
- Start date
Today a man came to my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
Gary Larson, Midvale School for the Gifted plagiarist...
The city of Chicago has some really tough high schools.
One has now added an obituary page to their school'
newspaper. Another one had a student throw a teacher
out of the second floor window. A high school senior just
wanted to prove the law of gravity.
One has now added an obituary page to their school'
newspaper. Another one had a student throw a teacher
out of the second floor window. A high school senior just
wanted to prove the law of gravity.
Man walks into a bar with a donkey. The bartender says, "Hey, you can't bring that jackass in here!"
Man says, "Why not?"
Bartender says "I was talking to the donkey"
Man says, "Why not?"
Bartender says "I was talking to the donkey"
A dumb blonde is looking to make some money, so she knocks on the door of a house and asks the man if he has any chores she can do. He says, "Sure, you can paint by porch".
An hour later, she knocks on the door and says she's all done. The man says, "That's amazing that you could do that so fast!"
The blonde says, "It was easy! And, by the way it's not a porch, it's a Lexus."
An hour later, she knocks on the door and says she's all done. The man says, "That's amazing that you could do that so fast!"
The blonde says, "It was easy! And, by the way it's not a porch, it's a Lexus."
A couple gets married, gets pregnant and has a child. Unfortunately when the baby is born, it is simply a head, no body. The couple resigns themselves to the situation and loves their new baby.
Years go by and their Dr calls that he has found a body that will be a perfect match for their child.
The couple rushes into their kids room with the news.
"Son we have great news!. We have the greatest gift we could ever give you".
And the son says, " Yeah, well it better not be another ****ing hat".
Years go by and their Dr calls that he has found a body that will be a perfect match for their child.
The couple rushes into their kids room with the news.
"Son we have great news!. We have the greatest gift we could ever give you".
And the son says, " Yeah, well it better not be another ****ing hat".
A priest, a nun, and a rabbit go to the blood center to donate blood. The receptionist stops them at the door. “Rabbit, what are you doing here? Do you even know your blood type?”
The rabbit says, “I think I’m a type O.”
The rabbit says, “I think I’m a type O.”
Why does Norway have barcodes on the side of their battleships?
So when the come back to Port they can Scandinavian.
So when the come back to Port they can Scandinavian.
What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
What's blue but not too heavy? Light blue.
I'm not saying anything without my lawyer present.
Cop: sir, you are the lawyer.
So where's my present?
Cop: sir, you are the lawyer.
So where's my present?
I have a Russian friend who is a sound technician.
And a Czcek one too. A Czcek one too.
And a Czcek one too. A Czcek one too.
Douglas C. Neidermeyer
HB Legend
“Honey, I have a confession to make," a guy told his bride. "I'm a golf nut. You'll never see me on weekends during golf season. "
"Well, dear," she murmured. "I have a confession to make too. I'm a hooker. "
"No big deal," replied the groom. "Just keep your head down and your left arm straight! "
"Well, dear," she murmured. "I have a confession to make too. I'm a hooker. "
"No big deal," replied the groom. "Just keep your head down and your left arm straight! "
This is sort of an original. New take on classic genre of humor. Let me know what you think.
Q: What do nuns tell already blind little boys to discourage them from choking the chicken?
A: They tell them "Helen Keller used to be a little blind boy."
Q: What do nuns tell already blind little boys to discourage them from choking the chicken?
A: They tell them "Helen Keller used to be a little blind boy."
Two couples playing golf. One of the men hit a big slice that went behind a barn. The other man said, "If you open the barn doors on each side you can shoot right through the barn and on to the green."
So, he tried it. But he hit the top of the door and the ball ricocheted back and hit his wife in the head, killing her.
A year later, he's out playing and hit the same slice behind the barn. His playing partner tried to explain the same strategy of hitting through the barn.
He replied, "No way. The last time I tried that I got a double-bogey."
So, he tried it. But he hit the top of the door and the ball ricocheted back and hit his wife in the head, killing her.
A year later, he's out playing and hit the same slice behind the barn. His playing partner tried to explain the same strategy of hitting through the barn.
He replied, "No way. The last time I tried that I got a double-bogey."
I knew a guy once, he was addicted to BRAKE FLUID!
He said he could stop at any time.
He said he could stop at any time.
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