Ferentz Five step Football program.

[hansenhawk]

We can call it FFF for fun.

Step 1- Schedule as easy as possible
Step 2 - Use that schedule to pull off miracle season(s) every so often.
Step 3- Use those miracle seasons too:
A - Keep fans off your back
B- Get contract extensions and make bank.
Step 4 - After miracle seasons, people will be reminded how mediocre we really are; causing:
A- Realization of how bad our recruiting is and how badly we lack talent.
B- This is the point where fans really become hostile and call for you to be fired.
Step 5 - In those long reality type seasons, just win 1 big game, then cry like a baby. This leads to:
A - People thinking how hard you are trying to win games here.
B - What a high character and caring coach we have.

Rinse and repeat and hold on like hell to circle around to step 2, which should happen about every 5-10 years using this model.

Now, this model works best if you are using the 1 step AD program, which is:

Step 1: Have a completely worthless AD who has no friggin' clue what he is doing.

Anyways, what can I say, I couldn't sleep tonight....

 

[hawkeyesx6]

You forgot steps 6 & 7.

Step 6......Win Big 10 Coach of the Year FOUR times which is given out to complete frauds like mentioned above by people who no nothing about football.

Step 7.......Win National Coach of the Year TWO times which is given out to complete frauds like mentioned above by people who no nothing about football.

 

[Clifford C. Clavin]

You forgot steps 6 & 7.

Step 6......Win Big 10 Coach of the Year FOUR times which is given out to complete frauds like mentioned above by people who no nothing about football.

Step 7.......Win National Coach of the Year TWO times which is given out to complete frauds like mentioned above by people who no nothing about football.

I'll add the following...finish in the final top 10 five different times, when the program had only done that a total of eight times prior to your arrival, and only twice in the previous 39 years.

 

[nu2u]

Ferentz Haters 4 Step Survival Plan:

Step 1. Keep a low profile when the Hawkeyes are winning.

Step 2. Create a message board spectacle with over-the-top gloom and doom commentary when they lose.

Step 3. Invent ridiculous conspiracy theories impugning the integrity of Kirk Ferentz when success makes it impractical to utilize Step 2.

Step 4. Resume Step 1 until the next loss.