New worst thing that I don’t want to have happen to me.

[FAUlty Gator]

My friend had a procedure (that I wasn’t sure what it was) and texted him if he was ok and what he had done.

This is his exact response:

Yea. I had an ass procedure. I had a fistulotomy. Terrible operation. Sliced my ass open. 5” open wound with a wire tying my asshole to the wound so it wouldn’t close. Infection had to drain.

Yeah. That’s a no for me dawg.

 

[millah_22]

Pics?

 

[Kozisek]

Oh God... Just kill me

 

[millah_22]

My friend had a procedure (that I wasn’t sure what it was) and texted him if he was ok and what he had done.

This is his exact response:

Yea. I had an ass procedure. I had a fistulotomy. Terrible operation. Sliced my ass open. 5” open wound with a wire tying my asshole to the wound so it wouldn’t close. Infection had to drain.

Yeah. That’s a no for me dawg.

this should be the punishment for last place in the football league @QChawks

 

[FAUlty Gator]

this should be the punishment for last place in the football league @QChawks

Performed by second to last place.

 

[hawkbirch]

Google fourth degree tear during childbirth. Same level of no thank you.

 

[Themanintheyellowhat]

Performed by second to last place.

Or performed on OC of last place offense?

 

[alaskanseminole]

Pics?

Further confirmation this is a @Colonoscopy alt account.

 

[GES4]

My friend had a procedure (that I wasn’t sure what it was) and texted him if he was ok and what he had done.

This is his exact response:

Yea. I had an ass procedure. I had a fistulotomy. Terrible operation. Sliced my ass open. 5” open wound with a wire tying my asshole to the wound so it wouldn’t close. Infection had to drain.

Yeah. That’s a no for me dawg.

For me, the answer is still opening my parachute and having a bunch of pots and pans fly out of it.

 

[HawkMD]

Google fourth degree tear during childbirth. Same level of no thank you.

I’ve sewn many of those. Even had some of the hubbies ask to make it tighter. 😳

 

[Obviously Oblivious]

Dear lord, I can literally smell this thread through my computer screen.

 

[Hawgk]

I’ve sewn many of those. Even had some of the hubbies ask to make it tighter. 😳

Well, did you?

 

[lonestar50]

Is this like a slipadictomy?

 

[yescyam]

I should have known better than to open this.

 

[jberesford]

Yea. I had an ass procedure. I had a fistulotomy.

You sure your friend wasn't bullshitting you? Kinda seems like a made up name for something that tears your ass apart.

 

[jonesy5960]

Google fourth degree tear during childbirth. Same level of no thank you.

No.

 

[EvilMonkeyInTheCloset]

You sure your friend wasn't bullshitting you? Kinda seems like a made up name for something that tears your ass apart.

It's the minor version of the more significant fisteralotomy.

 

[DFSNOLE]

My friend had a procedure (that I wasn’t sure what it was) and texted him if he was ok and what he had done.

This is his exact response:

Yea. I had an ass procedure. I had a fistulotomy. Terrible operation. Sliced my ass open. 5” open wound with a wire tying my asshole to the wound so it wouldn’t close. Infection had to drain.

Yeah. That’s a no for me dawg.

Had it done 4 times with the exception of the tie wire. It's as much fun as it sounds.

 

[FAUlty Gator]

Had it done 4 times with the exception of the tie wire. It's as much fun as it sounds.

 

[ping72]

 

[jasonrann]

Had it done 4 times with the exception of the tie wire. It's as much fun as it sounds.

 

[DFSNOLE]

The surgery is to remove a pocket of infection. In my case, the doctor couldn't find the origin and the infection returned, meaning another surgery.

 

[OrlandNole]

That looks like what I did to OP's mom last night.

 

[jamesvanderwulf]

Having a stroke in mid stroke...

 

[Colonoscopy]

See a lot of those. Typically wash'em out with dr pepper and stuff some styrofoam peanuts in there. In and out in 20 minutes. No surgery needed.

 

[goldmom]

Reported. 😵‍💫

 

[Colonoscopy]

Reported. 😵‍💫

you're just jealous

 

[St. Louis Hawk]

I’ve sewn many of those. Even had some of the hubbies ask to make it tighter. 😳

How about a courtesy stitch there doc?

 

[OutbackBowl2017]

How about a courtesy stitch there doc?

God bless women for child birth and doing anal based off of this thread cause I’m like…..

 

[St. Louis Hawk]

The surgery thing sounds worse, but this has to be a close second. From this week:

 

[yescyam]

The surgery thing sounds worse, but this has to be a close second. From this week:

View embedded media

 

[bagdropper]

Brings a whole new meaning to the joke "gee, Doc...you use your whole fist there?"

"Why, yes. Yes I did."

 

[ping72]

 

[B1GDeal]

I’ve sewn many of those. Even had some of the hubbies ask to make it tighter. 😳

 

[HawkMD]

View embedded media

I tell a different version of this joke revolving around breast reductions.

 

[beanerhawk]

The surgery is to remove a pocket of infection. In my case, the doctor couldn't find the origin and the infection returned, meaning another surgery.

Couldn't find it 4 times? yikes.

 

[DFSNOLE]

Couldn't find it 4 times? yikes.

I guess they found it the fourth time because there wasn't a fifth

 

[EasyHawk]

Google fourth degree tear during childbirth. Same level of no thank you.

My awesome wife has always been thin, and our first child was just under 10 pounds. It was not a good situation for a while. I remember the nurse bringing in the stool softeners as we were going home and reading her the riot act about taking them as directed because if not she would be back in the hospital with nothing separating the two cavities. It was a long recovery.

 

[hawkbirch]

My awesome wife has always been thin, and our first child was just under 10 pounds. It was not a good situation for a while. I remember the nurse bringing in the stool softeners as we were going home and reading her the riot act about taking them as directed because if not she would be back in the hospital with nothing separating the two cavities. It was a long recovery.

I lived this nightmare, too. It's probably best that I didn't know it was a thing before I went into labor with my first.

 

[goldmom]

My awesome wife has always been thin, and our first child was just under 10 pounds. It was not a good situation for a while. I remember the nurse bringing in the stool softeners as we were going home and reading her the riot act about taking them as directed because if not she would be back in the hospital with nothing separating the two cavities. It was a long recovery.

My kids were big (both 9+ lbs) I was pretty skinny - and I thank the Lord every day I had Caesarean sections for both.
Tiny scar that faded out over time and none of that stretched out situation.