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Newborn or pregnant wife

H

Hawk and Awe

HB Heisman
Sep 15, 2012
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About to have my first child (girl 6/26) and everyone keeps telling me to enjoy the last days before she comes. I keep thinking there's no way a child could be worse than dealing with my wife lately (no pic).

quick example - I've been sleeping on the couch a lot because she takes up the bed with her "snoogle". Big sacrifice right? We have a nice couch and I don't mind, but the other day I got screamed at because I didn't tuck in the couch cushions....

Am I wrong to assume parenting will be easier than living with a woman that maybe should require a straight jacket?
 
Good luck on your imminent divorce....

Child support sucks, next time wear a rubber!
 
I would rather have a newborn than my pregnant wife.

Babies aren't as hard as many claim. At least mine weren't.
 
LOL - I love my wife. Have never been happier and am not complaining. So stop it with the divorce and "easy" talk.

I know the offspring is going to be all sorts of work, but that at least makes sense to me. I can't make sense of or relate to my current situation.
 
Your wife is incredibly uncomfortable. She's tired/bloated/hemorrhoidal, her joints have shifted (pelvic bones are moving big time at this point), hormones are ramping up for birth, she probably has ligament pain on her sides, pregnancy brain in full effect. Yes, most women go through this, blah blah blah, but suck it up for another month. And tell her she's beautiful and you love her.

(BTW, you totally complained in your first post.)
 
My wife was great the whole time she was pregnant other than the stupid pictures she always wanted. Enjoy these last couple days your life is over. The first 6-8 months is a wasteland of nothing. Every little task becomes a studio sized epic. Bottles, pumps, diapers, washing everything. I can't even begin to tell you how awful it will be if the kid has colic like mine did for 3 months. Basically nothing to stop the crying. There is however light at the end of the tunnel. Get through those first 8 months and it slowly starts to improve. Then bam she will be ready for the second one.
 
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Wendy79 said:
Your wife is incredibly uncomfortable. She's tired/bloated/hemorrhoidal, her joints have shifted (pelvic bones are moving big time at this point), hormones are ramping up for birth, she probably has ligament pain on her sides, pregnancy brain in full effect. Yes, most women go through this, blah blah blah, but suck it up for another month. And tell her she's beautiful and you love her.

(BTW, you totally complained in your first post.)
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Maybe I just don't have the same definition of complaining..... Suck it up? I'm just wondering if it's going to be worse lady.

It's really hard living with her - is that a complaint or a statement? If she had no legs it'd be really hard on me too - that doesnt mean I don't appreciate and respect how hard it is on her.

Why is it so off limits to say pregnant women are difficult to deal with?
 
Hawk and Awe said:
Maybe I just don't have the same definition of complaining..... Suck it up? I'm just wondering if it's going to be worse lady.

It's really hard living with her - is that a complaint or a statement? If she had no legs it'd be really hard on me too - that doesnt mean I don't appreciate and respect how hard it is on her.

Why is it so off limits to say pregnant women are difficult to deal with?
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Hawk and Awe said:
Maybe I just don't have the same definition of complaining..... Suck it up? I'm just wondering if it's going to be worse lady.

It's really hard living with her - is that a complaint or a statement? If she had no legs it'd be really hard on me too - that doesnt mean I don't appreciate and respect how hard it is on her.

Why is it so off limits to say pregnant women are difficult to deal with?
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I'm not trying to be a berk but the fact that you are sleeping on the couch probably says a lot about the future of your marriage. My wife has had 4 kids in the last 5 years and that has not been necessary. If you're choosing to do so on your own, well that's a whole nother story. Good luck it's like nothing you could imagine. Just remember it will get better.
 
It's both, I guess. It's not taboo, but she's carrying your child, and it's not an easy thing to do. So throw in a little "I know she's uncomfortable blah blah but the hormones level out at some point, right?" I know of some guys who said the same thing/kind of thing you did and it was definitely complaining.

She's also probably going to be very hormonal after birth. Plus you'll have a baby (that will eat or poop every 2 hours), she'll be completely exhausted and really sore even if she doesn't have a C-section, she may go days without a shower, and hopefully you won't have a colicky baby (watch out for food sensitivities). Heck, one of my friends ended up with a dislocated hip during birth. Or maybe she'll get her pre-pregnancy body back within a week or two, she won't be bleeding down there for days, you won't see her poop in front of a half dozen people during birth, she'll get her hair and makeup done every day and always look great, and the baby will take to the boob like a champ. You can hope.

Congrats, btw.
 
Wendy79 said:
It's both, I guess. It's not taboo, but she's carrying your child, and it's not an easy thing to do. So throw in a little "I know she's uncomfortable blah blah but the hormones level out at some point, right?" I know of some guys who said the same thing/kind of thing you did and it was definitely complaining.

She's also probably going to be very hormonal after birth. Plus you'll have a baby (that will eat or poop every 2 hours), she'll be completely exhausted and really sore even if she doesn't have a C-section, she may go days without a shower, and hopefully you won't have a colicky baby (watch out for food sensitivities). Heck, one of my friends ended up with a dislocated hip during birth. Or maybe she'll get her pre-pregnancy body back within a week or two, she won't be bleeding down there for days, you won't see her poop in front of a half dozen people during birth, she'll get her hair and makeup done every day and always look great, and the baby will take to the boob like a champ. You can hope.

Congrats, btw.
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Baby isn't his...... GET OUT NOW!!
 
Smalls4IA said:
I'm not trying to be a berk but the fact that you are sleeping on the couch probably says a lot about the future of your marriage. My wife has had 4 kids in the last 5 years and that has not been necessary. If you're choosing to do so on your own, well that's a whole nother story. Good luck it's like nothing you could imagine. Just remember it will get better.
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This is a really important piece I left out. It didn't seem important when I posted, but now understand some of the hate I received.

I'm on the couch on my choice. She actually hates that I do it and often begs me to sleep in bed. I don't have much room and toss and turn which wakes her up so I decide to sleep downstairs as a lesser of 2 evils.

She also works 1-1 shifts as a nurse so her sleep is really valuable. I know it will get better, but love hearing it so thank you.
 
Wendy79 said:
It's both, I guess. It's not taboo, but she's carrying your child, and it's not an easy thing to do. So throw in a little "I know she's uncomfortable blah blah but the hormones level out at some point, right?" I know of some guys who said the same thing/kind of thing you did and it was definitely complaining.

She's also probably going to be very hormonal after birth. Plus you'll have a baby (that will eat or poop every 2 hours), she'll be completely exhausted and really sore even if she doesn't have a C-section, she may go days without a shower, and hopefully you won't have a colicky baby (watch out for food sensitivities). Heck, one of my friends ended up with a dislocated hip during birth. Or maybe she'll get her pre-pregnancy body back within a week or two, she won't be bleeding down there for days, you won't see her poop in front of a half dozen people during birth, she'll get her hair and makeup done every day and always look great, and the baby will take to the boob like a champ. You can hope.

Congrats, btw.
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If it's so awful why do people bother?
 
My second (boy) is due in August and his due date is the same day my daughter will be turning 2. last two years have been an emotional roller coaster between raising a first kid, then a miscarriage, then finding out we were expecting again such a short time later. I have excelled at being the verbal whipping boy when she needed to yell at someone for her toast being slightly more dark than normal or her side of the bed only having 5 pillows instead of 6. All in all its been a fun stressful ride, but hearing that first cry makes all the struggles go away
 
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Rhino3382 said:
My second (boy) is due in August and his due date is the same day my daughter will be turning 2. last two years have been an emotional roller coaster between raising a first kid, then a miscarriage, then finding out we were expecting again such a short time later. I have excelled at being the verbal whipping boy when she needed to yell at someone for her toast being slightly more dark than normal or her side of the bed only having 5 pillows instead of 6. All in all its been a fun stressful ride, but hearing that first cry makes all the struggles go away
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Fight her, be careful tho..... She has the strength of two!
 
Rhino3382 said:
My second (boy) is due in August and his due date is the same day my daughter will be turning 2. last two years have been an emotional roller coaster between raising a first kid, then a miscarriage, then finding out we were expecting again such a short time later. I have excelled at being the verbal whipping boy when she needed to yell at someone for her toast being slightly more dark than normal or her side of the bed only having 5 pillows instead of 6. All in all its been a fun stressful ride, but hearing that first cry makes all the struggles go away
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We may have married the same woman. Our first is due around christmas, so when the hormones really ramp up it may be a fun ride.
 
JWolf74 said:
We may have married the same woman. Our first is due around christmas, so when the hormones really ramp up it may be a fun ride.
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One of the better quotes I heard from an old timer one time was "God made all women the same, he just gave them different faces so we can tell which one is ours"

With that, I may have just used that quote for the 1000th time since hearing it, and no end in sight.
 
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What's the big debate here? Pregnant women can be difficult, tired and stressed. All with very good reason. Why is this wrong to say when a dude just wants to vent a little to strangers on a message board?
 
And congrats btw jwolf. Think I read you were moving to STL. Let's get together for a ton of beers before you take off and bring the wives/Designated drivers
 
Rhino3382 said:
And congrats btw jwolf. Think I read you were moving to STL. Let's get together for a ton of beers before you take off and bring the wives/Designated drivers
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This is a good idea. Was hoping to get DSMBoyz together before I leave on the 8th. I'm done with class, so I'm fairly open. Just spending my days packing and playing golf.
 
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Pregnancy boobies are great, enjoy them while you can BC you won't be doing much with them for the next 6 months (or so).

Kids, I have 3, and I liked the baby phase (they sleep a lot and that is great) but age 1 - 6 are really a waste as your main concern is making sure they don't harm or kill themselves.

Around age 7-8 they start to show a little more of who they are becoming, they become more athletic (if that is one of their things) and they are just starting to become reliable in terms of taking care of themselves (they can get cereal, toast, PB&J ext) and these little things start to feel like big wins as you slowly begin to get little bits of your life back.

But yeah, it's great, but incredibly incredibly frustrating.
 
Rhino3382 said:
My second (boy) is due in August and his due date is the same day my daughter will be turning 2. last two years have been an emotional roller coaster between raising a first kid, then a miscarriage, then finding out we were expecting again such a short time later. I have excelled at being the verbal whipping boy when she needed to yell at someone for her toast being slightly more dark than normal or her side of the bed only having 5 pillows instead of 6. All in all its been a fun stressful ride, but hearing that first cry makes all the struggles go away
Click to expand...

Just wanted to warn you that the level of crazy is unimaginable after #2 arrives. They feel guilty all the time that the 1st isn't getting enough attention. Good luck! After that is easy
 
theIowaHawk said:
I would rather have a newborn than my pregnant wife.

Babies aren't as hard as many claim. At least mine weren't.
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I thought having a baby was very difficult when we had the first one. I stressed over everything and he was colicky. By the time the second came, I looked forward to having the baby.. Newborns don't do anything. Being left alone with just the baby was awesome. Change a diaper, get a bottle, and then let him nap on your lap for a few hours.

To the OP, having a pregnant wife sucks, but it sucks even worse to have a newborn combined with a hormonal new mother. My wife seemed to take six months to get back to normal after each of the three kids.
 
Okay, I will tell you what your wife thinks. She thinks that you won't sleep in the bed with her because you think she is fat and ugly. No matter what you tell her this is what she will think. So suck it up and sleep with her if that's what she wants.
Next, the crazy won't go away as soon as she gives birth. Or really anytime soon afterward. If she breastfeeds her boobs will get even bigger and rock hard. They will hurt, leak, maybe her nipples will crack and bleed. There will be a baby that is constantly attached and she will be extremely sleep deprived. Baby will eat every 2 hours timed from the beginning of the last feeding. But they eat for 45 minutes so she will really have about an hour between feedings. Her hormones will be all over the place and when baby cries she will probably think she is a terrible mother. So really you will not lose many of your current issues but will pick up more. Eventually things will get back to something that resembles normal. But with the coolest little being you've ever met. Which is why we do it again.
 
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Smalls4IA said:
I'm not trying to be a berk but the fact that you are sleeping on the couch probably says a lot about the future of your marriage. My wife has had 4 kids in the last 5 years and that has not been necessary. If you're choosing to do so on your own, well that's a whole nother story. Good luck it's like nothing you could imagine. Just remember it will get better.
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Needs a bigger bed, one of the keys to a blissful marriage.
 
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What surprised me most was that even the simple things had to be planned. You couldn't just take off for the grocery store-the baby had to be dressed, a bottle prepared to take along, and if it was winter, the baby bundled and perhaps the car warmed up. Of course you get used to it. And it will always amaze me that people come from other people:)
 
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