ADVERTISEMENT

What are you and your S/O's policy on major changes to your appearance?

Hoosierhawkeye

Hoosierhawkeye

HB King
Sep 16, 2008
54,348
53,104
113
42
So I saw something while scrolling today and basically some person changed their hair color and their spouse got upset about it and everyone thought that was a giant red flag and it ment he was controlling or abusive.

For me I just thought it was common for people in committed relationships, especially a marriage to not make major changes to their appearance without getting the clearance from their spouse. Obviously I'm not talking about medically necessary changes like glasses or something like that. But just vanity changes.

Like I wouldn't grow out facial hair without getting the ok from my spouse, I wouldn't change my hairstyle without getting the ok from my spouse. I wouldn't even get a tan without getting my spouse's ok. Same goes for her.

Are we strange? Because I always felt it was very normal that you don't change your appearance without your spouse being ok with it.
 
THE_DEVIL said:
Neither of us would notice or care
Click to expand...

You wouldn't notice? Like if your spouse changed her hair color you wouldn't notice?

If I came home and my spouses hair was anything other than it's natural color I would be asking "why the hell would you do that"

I'd lose my shit if she got a tattoo. I am pretty positive it would go about the same if the roles were reversed.
 
  • Like
Reactions: thewop
Hoosierhawkeye said:
So I saw something while scrolling today and basically some person changed their hair color and their spouse got upset about it and everyone thought that was a giant red flag and it ment he was controlling or abusive.

For me I just thought it was common for people in committed relationships, especially a marriage to not make major changes to their appearance without getting the clearance from their spouse. Obviously I'm not talking about medically necessary changes like glasses or something like that. But just vanity changes.

Like I wouldn't grow out facial hair without getting the ok from my spouse, I wouldn't change my hairstyle without getting the ok from my spouse. I wouldn't even get a tan without getting my spouse's ok. Same goes for her.

Are we strange? Because I always felt it was very normal that you don't change your appearance without your spouse being ok with it.
Click to expand...
Interesting question. We would definitely discuss extreme departures in hairstyles - like shaved bald or a dye job. I would think we'd give each other the heads up about piercings or tattoos as well. Not sure what else there would be. A golden grill?
 
  • Like
Reactions: artradley
Hoosierhawkeye said:
I wouldn't even get a tan without getting my spouse's ok.
Click to expand...
Vine Wtf GIF
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Wow
Reactions: JWolf74, RayRay3454, artradley and 20 others
Hoosierhawkeye said:
You wouldn't notice? Like if your spouse changed her hair color you wouldn't notice?

If I came home and my spouses hair was anything other than it's natural color I would be asking "why the hell would you do that"

I'd lose my shit if she got a tattoo. I am pretty positive it would go about the same if the roles were reversed.
Click to expand...
We've been married since 86 and we are both 59. Looks and appearence are not an essential need in our life.
 
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: InsaneHawkJJP, TennNole17, FAUlty Gator and 1 other person
millah_22 said:
Her body, her choice. It may not be my preference if she wants to shave her head, but it's not my hair.

If I want to shave off my beard, I'm not asking my wife's permission.
Click to expand...

See I disagree. . . maybe it's due to my faith and scripture but I don't believe that my body belongs entirely to myself but also to my wife and vice versa. We share a home, a bed, DNA, saliva, children, and a bank account. Morally speaking I believe that extends to our bodies as well.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: InsaneHawkJJP and NoWokeBloke
Hoosierhawkeye said:
See I disagree. . . maybe it's due to my faith and scripture but I don't believe that my body belongs entirely to myself but also to my wife and vice versa. We share a home, a bed, DNA, saliva, children, and a bank account. I believe that extends to our bodies as well.
Click to expand...
You may share all that but it sounds like your juevos are in her purse.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: Twoooooooo, mattymoknows, blhawk and 2 others
Hoosierhawkeye said:
See I disagree. . . maybe it's due to my faith and scripture but I don't believe that my body belongs entirely to myself but also to my wife and vice versa. We share a home, a bed, DNA, saliva, children, and a bank account. Morally speaking I believe that extends to our bodies as well.
Click to expand...
So what happens if you forbade her from getting a bob and she does it anyway?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Moral
Hoosierhawkeye said:
No again she wouldn't make any changes to her appearance without my approval as well. That's a mutual thing, not a one sided thing.
Click to expand...
Just giving ya shit. I don't care if my s/o changes her hair color or gets a tan or whatever. I guess though i'd like a conversation if it's something that hits the bank account like a boob job or something but obviously that's an obvious conversation that'd need to be had.
 
millah_22 said:
So what happens if you forbade her from getting a bob and she does it anyway?
Click to expand...

Getting a bob?

Do you mean a job?

We would both discuss if her working was good for our situation in all aspects including childcare and finances and determine together if it is a good choice. She had a job before, she had to leave the job for multiple reasons but the main reason she isn't working is due to the fact that our chlidren have to do school online due to their disabilities. They understand the material but they (especially the youngest) do not have the self help skills to attend school. The 10 year old is borderline. The 9 year old I'm convinced can do it with little problems. 8 year old wouldn't even be able to be in a special needs class.

I wouldn't change jobs without her being ok with it.
 
Hoosierhawkeye said:
Getting a bob?

Do you mean a job?

We would both discuss if her working was good for our situation in all aspects including childcare and finances and determine together if it is a good choice. She had a job before, she had to leave the job for multiple reasons but the main reason she isn't working is due to the fact that our chlidren have to do school online due to their disabilities. They understand the material but they (especially the youngest) do not have the self help skills to attend school. The 10 year old is borderline. The 9 year old I'm convinced can do it with little problems.

I wouldn't change jobs without her being ok with it.
Click to expand...
....

a bob is a style of haircut you Runza
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Wow
Reactions: SoProudNole, praguehawk, l.todd and 5 others
Hoosierhawkeye said:
Getting a bob?

Do you mean a job?

We would both discuss if her working was good for our situation in all aspects including childcare and finances and determine together if it is a good choice. She had a job before, she had to leave the job for multiple reasons but the main reason she isn't working is due to the fact that our chlidren have to do school online due to their disabilities. They understand the material but they (especially the youngest) do not have the self help skills to attend school. The 10 year old is borderline. The 9 year old I'm convinced can do it with little problems.

I wouldn't change jobs without her being ok with it.
Click to expand...

You don't even know what a bob haircut is and you get appearance power?
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: JWolf74, SoProudNole, fredjr82 and 2 others
Moral said:
You don't even know what a bob haircut is and you get appearance power?
Click to expand...

No don't know the names of haircuts.

Now that I've looked it up it would probably be ok because it wouldn't bother me, although I would wonder why she didn't ask.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Moral
As long as the changes have no impact on her running form, then I'm ok with them.




On a serious note, no, neither one of us ask the other about anything that we do appearance wise. She might ask my thoughts about something and then doesn't actually go through with anything but that's it. She got her hair done a bit differently before we got married last weekend, and did not ask for my permission and I'm totally fine w/ that. No pics of wife. If she wants to change something with her appearance, she's a free woman to do so. Same goes for me.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: JWolf74, TennNole17, NDallasRuss and 3 others
McLovin32 said:
As long as the changes have no impact on her running form, then I'm ok with them.




On a serious note, no, neither one of us ask the other about anything that we do appearance wise. She might ask my thoughts about something and then doesn't actually go through with anything but that's it. She got her hair done a bit differently before we got married last weekend, and did not ask for my permission and I'm totally fine w/ that. No pics of wife. If she wants to change something with her appearance, she's a free woman to do so. Same goes for me.
Click to expand...
just gonna bury the lede on this one?
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: GES4, McLovin32 and Moral
Hoosierhawkeye said:
So I saw something while scrolling today and basically some person changed their hair color and their spouse got upset about it and everyone thought that was a giant red flag and it ment he was controlling or abusive.

For me I just thought it was common for people in committed relationships, especially a marriage to not make major changes to their appearance without getting the clearance from their spouse. Obviously I'm not talking about medically necessary changes like glasses or something like that. But just vanity changes.

Like I wouldn't grow out facial hair without getting the ok from my spouse, I wouldn't change my hairstyle without getting the ok from my spouse. I wouldn't even get a tan without getting my spouse's ok. Same goes for her.

Are we strange? Because I always felt it was very normal that you don't change your appearance without your spouse being ok with it.
Click to expand...
You are very strange. I wouldn't ever ask my wife if I could trim my beard or get a hair cut, neither would she. When she goes to get her hair done I never know what she'll look like when she gets home, nor would I care. Been together since 2000 and married since 2005. I've never even thought about it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Twoooooooo and blhawk
Derekd3408 said:
If your spouse came home with hair dyed like the rainbow, you wouldn't notice?
Click to expand...
That would depend whether she unlocked the door and let me out of the basement. :)

At some point I would, but I wouldn't say anything about it for at least a couple hours. It would take that long for her to stop telling how her day went and I try not to make eye contact during this time.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

cigaretteman

Libertarians are merely pawns in major party battles

Replies
2
Views
102
Off Topic
tarheelbybirth
tarheelbybirth
cigaretteman

Biden set to announce support for major Supreme Court changes

Replies
121
Views
2K
Off Topic
RileyHawk
R
RicoSuave102954

Democratic operative announces party exit after volunteering at DNC : 'Impossible to unsee what I've seen'

Replies
11
Views
421
Off Topic
Hans81
H
The Tradition

Well what the hell did they expect was going to happen?

Replies
13
Views
784
Off Topic
Titus Andronicus
Titus Andronicus
Hoosierhawkeye

Minnesota National Guard - Walz didn't know about Iraq deployment and was a Command Sgt Major on the day he retired.

Replies
286
Views
5K
Off Topic
cohawk
C
ADVERTISEMENT

Latest posts

ADVERTISEMENT
Top Bottom
Back