ADVERTISEMENT

Anyone ever hired a private investigator to find someone?

lucas80

HR King
Gold Member
Jan 30, 2008
115,273
167,883
113
My oldest daughter has a friend whose mom recently passed away. His dad was in and out of his life, and has not been seen or heard from in 3 years. Mom and dad were married, but never divorced. Mom never pursued it, and her health had gone downhill pretty fast the last year. Mom and dad were both in the Army, mom was a medic, and during mom's deployments the daughter's friend would spend time with his paternal grandmother who lived in North Carolina where mom was stationed. He believes she is being truthful in saying she has not heard from him. They have a close relationship.
Now that mom is dead the son feels like he should find dad to tell him, and also because he wants to settle mom's estate. It isn't much.
Anyone ever hired a PI? @Jimmy McGill you do divorce cases, don't you? Ever used one? The friend thinks his dad is dead, probably overdosed somewhere is his guess. If the dad did expire somewhere would they necessarily look for family? I assume since he's a veteran it would be standard to run finger prints through a criminal database if they found a homeless guy who had overdosed, but what about a DoD database?
Helpful thoughts will be appreciated.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Moral
Second thought on the DoD angle, if dad has accessed VA care in the last 3 years could he be tracked down that way?
 
Helpful thoughts will be appreciated.

Season 3 Ugh GIF by Parks and Recreation
 
Has he tried using Google? If you posted the father’s name here along with some relative’s names and previous addresses, I’m sure his father would be found fairly quickly.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jimmy McGill
My oldest daughter has a friend whose mom recently passed away. His dad was in and out of his life, and has not been seen or heard from in 3 years. Mom and dad were married, but never divorced. Mom never pursued it, and her health had gone downhill pretty fast the last year. Mom and dad were both in the Army, mom was a medic, and during mom's deployments the daughter's friend would spend time with his paternal grandmother who lived in North Carolina where mom was stationed. He believes she is being truthful in saying she has not heard from him. They have a close relationship.
Now that mom is dead the son feels like he should find dad to tell him, and also because he wants to settle mom's estate. It isn't much.
Anyone ever hired a PI? @Jimmy McGill you do divorce cases, don't you? Ever used one? The friend thinks his dad is dead, probably overdosed somewhere is his guess. If the dad did expire somewhere would they necessarily look for family? I assume since he's a veteran it would be standard to run finger prints through a criminal database if they found a homeless guy who had overdosed, but what about a DoD database?
Helpful thoughts will be appreciated.

I never hired a PI, but had clients that did. I found that most of them will charge outrageous prices for things that you can do on your own. Very unreliable. Now.....I say this unfortunately because I loved watching Tom Selleck in Magnum PI.

Not likely going to get any information from VA or DOD unless Dad is dead. It is all confidential unless he gives permission to provide information.

In regards to estate, if there isn't much, it can be done easily through a small estate affidavit. Might want to publish notice of death 3 times in local paper to give dad a chance to contest things if he is still alive.

These are the nightmare scenarios where there truly is no "right" answer. But usually the stress of the decision is not worth it. Time to move on as the likelihood of Dad being alive or giving a shit are slim to none.
 
  • Like
Reactions: lucas80 and GOHOX69
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT