Bullying claims and eerie online posts: What we know about Iowa school shooter Dylan Butler

[HawkMachine]

Charging the school is as dumb as charging his dad for having the guns.

I'd have to guess that only 20% of the bullying actually takes place on school grounds.

It's the social media.

Kids are f'n terrible now with it.

 

[HawkMachine]

To help bullying we need BETTER PARENTS.


When my boys were younger, almost every day I would tell them to stick up for other kids and not to bully. At the same time, I always ended, "don't be afraid to throw the first punch though". lol

They never have thrown a punch and I know for a fact they are nice to ALL.

 

[DeangeloVickers]

Suspend the bullies and don't let them back to school until they and their parents complete mandatory counseling.
If it continues, kick them out and the parents can homeschool or send them to an alternative school.
Unfortunately all the bullying situations my kids dealt with growing up were from kids the school was too weak to take action on. They were allowed to pretty much behave how they wanted for one reason or another, and the schools coddled them.
Enough is enough. Kids and parents need to start learning there are real consequences to negative actions. But Unfortunately our schools and school boards have been infected with weakness and complete lack of leadership.

 

[NorthernHawkeye]

Suspend the bullies and don't let them back to school until they and their parents complete mandatory counseling.
If it continues, kick them out and the parents can homeschool or send them to an alternative school.
Unfortunately all the bullying situations my kids dealt with growing up were from kids the school was too weak to take action on. They were allowed to pretty much behave how they wanted for one reason or another, and the schools coddled them.
Enough is enough. Kids and parents need to start learning there are real consequences to negative actions. But Unfortunately our schools and school boards have been infected with weakness and complete lack of leadership.

This and we need to codify laws that cements such a pathway for schools.

 

[jasonrann]

To help bullying we need BETTER PARENTS.


When my boys were younger, almost every day I would tell them to stick up for other kids and not to bully. At the same time, I always ended, "don't be afraid to throw the first punch though". lol

They never have thrown a punch and I know for a fact they are nice to ALL.

Our daughter is 7 1/2 and has already witnessed "mean girl" shite going on. We have always told her to be kind to everyone and she has. She has won numerous awards for "kindness" and "having a big heart". She has intervened in multiple bullying situations sticking up for the victim. I can't tell you how proud that makes me.

Our 2 1/2 year old son will have the same instructions. He will also know how to handle himself. I was a skinny kid growing up, didn't grow into my body and fill out until college. I took a lot of shite until I punched a bully, the biggest kid in school, right in the face. I'd had enough. At that point, I didn't care if he beat me into oblivion, I was going to get my shot in. He never messed with me again.

I am a very easy going person, but this is one area I simply will not be passive about. If there are issues at school, teachers/administrators will be contacted until issues are resolved. If that doesn't work, we will go directly to parents.....period.

 

[Sharky1203]

So here we are 2024 and the bullies are still around. I thought that I was the only one who ever got bullied in middle school for being so little. It sucked having to wait until I was 16 to take a growth spurt.

Where are the parents, friends and school officials at explaining to the kids that they will be better than the bullies someday? I was told that and some I am better than, others I have no idea if I am. But I grew out of the confusion that was my childhood and moved on.

This kid was confused and no one (IMO) reached out to him in a way that didn't make him a victim. Bad things happen. Bad people happen. This has always been and always will be. We need to arm the children with the correct answers (no matter how tough the world is) to combat the urge to get revenge. Anymore being a victim is the same as getting revenge on the ones who did it. IMO, they are two separate things and young developing minds have merged them together.

I don't know what causes it. If it's video games, movies, our peers, the current world, social media, lack of respect for human life, etc? I really don't know, but we have a serious problem and we haven't addressed it. But labeling victims isn't working anymore.

My heart goes out to the people shot and the families of the ones lost. The survivors will carry this forever (including families). My heart really goes out to the family of the young man who did this. That's a burden no one should have to carry.

 

[joelbc1]

When my son was in the 7th grade, at a Catholic school, his class went on a field trip a couple of weeks before the end of the school year. The bus had two teachers on board. One of the boys walked up the aisle slapping other kids in the head. My son was one of them. He didn't react. Two girls sitting behind him told the teacher. The teacher told the principal, Sister Jeri, who called me. The kid got 1 hour detention each day.

I told Sister Jeri that my son had been trained in self defense, and I was going to change my instructions to him about what to do in these situations. I had previously told him to only fight back if he really needed to in order to keep from being hurt. I told Sister Jeri the new instructions would be that if is struck first, to do whatever he needs to do to make sure he's not struck again. I added that someone would end up being hurt, and that I would expect no more punishment than detention, because that's the standard.

Sister Jeri said she thought the other kid was just playing. I asked her if she had ever been struck in the head, or otherwise struck in anger. She said no. I told her that boys play by hitting a shoulder, but never the head. She didn't understand that.

The bully didn't return to school the next year. Seems a couple of other parents had discussions with Sister Jeri as well, including a dad who happened to be a Bird Colonel in the Army. Sometimes educators need a real life example to understand the world isn't necessarily kumbaya.

Based On your interaction with a nun, you have surmised all teachers are such? Ask Sister Jeri what she is and I bet her answer is not “a teacher” first...just saying...your scenario is no doubt true...I think your source pool is a bit construed.

 

[Here_4_a_Day]

The left doesn't understand they are the ones breeding the world's violence. I had girls, and was determined they not be victims simply because they were. At an early age, I taught them how to fish hook, eye gouge and how to bite a person's ear off with a modicum of effort. First time one of these skills was employed, was by the oldest in 5th grade. A boy that outweighed her by 25 pounds had her by the hair and she put her thumb into the little phucker's eye. When the abhorred principal called me, one of his stupid ass statements was, "It's almost like someone taught her how to do that." My reply was, "Who taught the boy how to pull her hair...is that part of the curriculum these days?" She had very few harassment issues in school after that.

Teach your kids to be neither a bully or a victim! That's the best policy...but, unfortunately that clashes with the left's goal of making everyone a victim!

 

[goldmom]

Don't blame the kid for this, or even the parents or teachers. This kid suffered a lot in his life and adults told him that he could be a woman and doing so would fix his problems.

It's not surprising that changing genders didn't fix his problem and in the process he learned to hate those who fed him these lies and who bullied him to start with.

Shooters like this do it because they want to make others suffer and feel a pain like they have endured.

💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

 

[Here_4_a_Day]

You need to be shot in the head.

You need to be shot in the nuts.......

 

[stanzithemanzi12]

Don't be an effing weirdo, and you're a lot less likely to be bullied. Bullying isn't right. Even if they're mentally ill trans kids. But I'm tired of making victims out of these coward school shooters.

 

[RicoSuave102954]

Charging the school is as dumb as charging his dad for having the guns.

I'd have to guess that only 20% of the bullying actually takes place on school grounds.

It's the social media.

Kids are f'n terrible now with it.

You're very naive if you don't think the Perry School District and possibly some teachers/administrators aren't going to pay through the nose for their failures here.

 

[SB_SB]

This reminds me of a line in A Few Good Men when the military person on trial says "We were supposed to fight for those who couldn't fight for themselves". That's exactly what this kid did, he fought for his sister who couldn't fight for herself. He had been bullied for years and didn't take it to the level of shooting someone. It wasn't until he saw someone else being bullied that he decided to fight for them.

 

[jasonrann]

Don't be an effing weirdo, and you're a lot less likely to be bullied. Bullying isn't right. Even if they're mentally ill trans kids. But I'm tired of making victims out of these coward school shooters.

Just curious, do you have kids? Did you know the shooter? My kids aren't weirdos, but at times, they sure as shite act like weirdos. It doesn't justify bullying, especially damaging, persistent bullying. Good lord, I can't believe what I read on here sometimes.

 

[goldmom]

This reminds me of a line in A Few Good Men when the military person on trial says "We were supposed to fight for those who couldn't fight for themselves". That's exactly what this kid did, he fought for his sister who couldn't fight for herself. He had been bullied for years and didn't take it to the level of shooting someone. It wasn't until he saw someone else being bullied that he decided to fight for them.

Oh, okay. Never brought up the issue to his parents, or were they part of the problem?
Again…are you going to wait - like me and others - for more facts to emerge?

 

[HawkMachine]

Our daughter is 7 1/2 and has already witnessed "mean girl" shite going on.

Be prepared, it doesn't go away.

Girls are 10x worse than boys. Any parent that has raised both would agree.

Like most girls, there was drama in my daughter's grade beginning in kindergarten.

But like my boys, told her to be nice to all.

She's in college now but I remember a girl in high school I told her to talk to specifically.

This girl was WEIRD. Terrible parent, no clue where the dad was. I remember the mom made a comment to my wife one day where she wanted to wear the blood of her girls around her neck in a vile.

The girl was interested in creepy pasta, voodoo dolls, just weird chit.

Always told my daughter to talk to this girl and be nice for her safety and others.

She actually bumped into her a couple of weeks ago. She was working a job. Not sure if she ever graduated HS though.

 

[Rustys Dad]

Bullying always has been - and always will be - part of our society. I remember two kids in particular who made my life hell in middle school and in 9th grade. Looking back - there is no way any teachers would have known about it - and the last thing on my mind was going to a teacher, etc., to share my story.

There are so many dynamics in play. If a teacher doesn’t witness bullying - what are they to do. If a kid gets accused of being a bully but really isn’t - what is that kid to do and what will that kid’s parents say in return.

My personal two cents: it starts at home. Kids learn right and wrong from home. Trust me when I say my parents would have instantly known if I even looked at a gun.

Something is usually missing from the relationship - where the parents didn’t instill right from wrong … weren’t aware of their kid’s friends or what their kid is up to.

Sure - I did some stupid shit as a kid … but my foundation was instilled by my parents. Be nice to people. Don’t pick on people … etc

It’s unfortunate any “missed clues” don’t come out until after a tragic event has occurred… A good friend is a police officer in the Des Moines metro … and said you’d be amazed at how some kids grow up … and what they face at home and elsewhere.

 

[joelbc1]

Oh, okay. Never brought up the issue to his parents, or were they part of the problem?
Again…are you going to wait - like me and others - for more facts to emerge?

Facts just get in the way of a good narrative. I must not read the right material, because I have seen or hears none of the “gender” bullshit regarding this situation. What sources are reporting this stuff? Perry ( law enforcement and school) has done a pretty effective job of controlling information here. I think most of us are waiting for “facts” on this matter.

 

[goldmom]

I think everyone encounters some kind of unpleasantness in school that can be termed poor socialization skills or assimilation that manifests itself in a very broadened definition of what we’d call bullying today versus 20-30-40 years ago. It’s almost always the result of an issue in the child’s home. Both with the bully and the bullied.
Teaching basic respect for how we treat others and the idea of limits on what we should be tolerating in how others treat us is at its base a parental obligation.
I know I keep harping on this but no one said it’s easy being a parent. But a little goes a long way and even if we don’t preach it to the child they learn so much just by watching how Mom and Dad behave in life and treat others. Learning from example is gold.

 

[joelbc1]

I think everyone encounters some kind of unpleasantness in school that can be termed poor socialization skills or assimilation that manifests itself in a very broadened definition of what we’d call bullying today versus 20-30-40 years ago. It’s almost always the result of an issue in the child’s home. Both with the bully and the bullied.
Teaching basic respect for how we treat others and the idea of limits on what we should be tolerating in how others treat us is at its base a parental obligation.
I know I keep harping on this but no one said it’s easy being a parent. But a little goes a long way and even if we don’t preach it to the child they learn so much just by watching how Mom and Dad behave in life and treat others. Learning from example is gold.

Teaching basic respect for others is certainly not the responsibility of our schools! THAT is a parenting concern, first and foremost. Schools should be part of the process...but the “hands on” has to be from the home and parents. Many here have it back-asswards. It is not the teacher’s main responsibility to teach respect towards others. That is what parents, family and church are for primarily.

 

[stickman80]

Oh, okay. Never brought up the issue to his parents, or were they part of the problem?
Again…are you going to wait - like me and others - for more facts to emerge?

It justs seems very odd.

The kid that died was reported to have been shot 3 times. The shooter meant to kill him.

It is also being reported the shooter was terribly bullied.....but he is 17....and the kid who died is 11.

And now the family says that the shooters state escalated after his little sister was bullied.

If all that is reported is correct it does create an interesting motive.

 

[joelbc1]

It justs seems very odd.

The kid that died was reported to have been shot 3 times. The shooter meant to kill him.

It is also being reported the shooter was terribly bullied.....but he is 17....and the kid who died is 11.

And now the family says that the shooters state escalated after his little sister was bullied.

If all that is reported is correct it does create an interesting motive.

WHO is reporting this, stickman? Internet gossip..rumor...innuendo? Who?

 

[IAFB2021Champs]

Pretty sure teachers already don’t get paid enough but now we’re going to charge them or put them in jail if they don’t do a good enough job babysitting and doing the things a students parent should be doing?
We don’t want to do anything in this country for mental health but teachers should be to blame for not supplying similar help?

Just shut down schools and let parents try and raise their kids, that shit would be interesting.

 

[Rifler]

Just curious, do you have kids? Did you know the shooter? My kids aren't weirdos, but at times, they sure as shite act like weirdos. It doesn't justify bullying, especially damaging, persistent bullying. Good lord, I can't believe what I read on here sometimes.

Agreed,.. one person's weirdo is another person's best friend.

 

[Finance85]

Based On your interaction with a nun, you have surmised all teachers are such? Ask Sister Jeri what she is and I bet her answer is not “a teacher” first...just saying...your scenario is no doubt true...I think your source pool is a bit construed.

I went to Catholic schools through the 4th grade. I have a healthy understanding of the wide range of how nuns interact. I'm not sure why you feel the need to project otherwise.

 

[SB_SB]

Oh, okay. Never brought up the issue to his parents, or were they part of the problem?
Again…are you going to wait - like me and others - for more facts to emerge?

Are we ever going to know the real story of what went on?

 

[bojihawk44]

What are schools supposed to do, exactly?

Bullying is incredibly hard to prove because in most cases it's just one person's story versus another person's story. It's not like the school has the authority to perform an investigation or confiscate items like phones and go through them without some sort of legal backing.

Once again, people who don't work in schools always have the best ideas as to how to run them.

 

[Old_wrestling_fan]

What are schools supposed to do, exactly?

Bullying is incredibly hard to prove because in most cases it's just one person's story versus another person's story. It's not like the school has the authority to perform an investigation or confiscate items like phones and go through them without some sort of legal backing.

Once again, people who don't work in schools always have the best ideas as to how to run them.

Not a teacher, but as a business owner I definitely understand the dilemma when one person tells you something about another person...that you really cannot corroborate, etc. As sure as there are legit bullies in the world, there are also legit "story tellers" who can't get along with anyone. It can be VERY difficult to tell what really happened in a situation that you did not personally witness.

So I would be very much opposed to holding educators responsible for what they cannot know. BUT...if there are reports of bullying, they should be shared with the parents of the perpetrator(s)...along with the associated penalties for said bullying, should it be able to be confirmed.

I do think that the schools should be held responsible to document charges of bullying, they should not be free to just dismiss them and ignore them.

Bullying is a broad term and we really don't know what happened here other than reported long term bullying. Did someone call this kid a name a few years back and that was it? Or was there persistent, unresolved friction that went unchecked? I don't know, but there is a HUGE amount of unknown here, where on the "spectrum" did this reported bullying fall?

FWIW, businesses that "know" about harassment between employees have an obligation to resolve it in some form or they can be found to be negligent and/or promoting a hostile work environment.

I would see the schools/educators having a similar level of liability. Not being held accountable to a random, unsubstantiated claim per se, but if they are demonstrably ignoring things that actually occurred then yes, they could be wrapped around the axle too.

 

[ZumaHawk]

Very well said “Ol Wrestling Fan “. There are definitely people who are hard to deal with.
Tattletales so to speak. With that said small town small school with supposedly years of bullying happening. Someone had to have seen something at some point.

 

[DeangeloVickers]

This reminds me of a line in A Few Good Men when the military person on trial says "We were supposed to fight for those who couldn't fight for themselves". That's exactly what this kid did, he fought for his sister who couldn't fight for herself. He had been bullied for years and didn't take it to the level of shooting someone. It wasn't until he saw someone else being bullied that he decided to fight for them.

What in the actual fvck... killing someone isn't "fighting" its killing. If this evil puke wanted to fight for his sister he could have done so without killing anyone. Quit justifying murder.

 

[SB_SB]

What in the actual fvck... killing someone isn't "fighting" its killing. If this evil puke wanted to fight for his sister he could have done so without killing anyone. Quit justifying murder.

Are you sure fighting back doesn't sometimes include killing? I'll let you think about that for a minute and get back to me.

 

[DeangeloVickers]

Are you sure fighting back doesn't sometimes include killing? I'll let you think about that for a minute and get back to me.

When your life or the life of another is in imminent danger only. That's the law so you should think about your post a bit longer and probably edit or remove it. As awful as bullying is it isn't grounds for murder.

 

[joelbc1]

I went to Catholic schools through the 4th grade. I have a healthy understanding of the wide range of how nuns interact. I'm not sure why you feel the need to project otherwise.

Because you talk purer bullshit here Finance…..She is a nun who teaches….she is NOT a teacher. Sorry.

 

[goldmom]

Are you sure fighting back doesn't sometimes include killing? I'll let you think about that for a minute and get back to me.

You’re going to need to explain why you “think”that sometimes killing should be “included “.
Kill bullies??

 

[RNHawk]

A bit simplistic, maybe?

100lb kid being bullied by 250lb kid. Just fight it out huh?

The bullying would probably stop

 

[SB_SB]

You’re going to need to explain why you “think”that sometimes killing should be “included “.
Kill bullies??

I’m not saying it should be. But keep in mind that when people bully they are doing it with the idea they think the bullied person can’t harm them. Well, that’s not always the case and the bully doesn’t get to define the rules of the “game”. You’re going to find that some people will fight back with their own rules. You might not like the outcome but then people shouldn’t be playing the game. Play dangerous games, get dangerous responses.

 

[SB_SB]

When your life or the life of another is in imminent danger only. That's the law so you should think about your post a bit longer and probably edit or remove it. As awful as bullying is it isn't grounds for murder.

Maybe he felt his sister’s life was in danger.

 

[CaboKP]

They added that the bullying had escalated recently, when his younger sister started getting picked on, too. Officials at the school didn’t intervene.
Jolliff said she was horrified to hear that friends of 17-year-old Dylan Butler, who police have identified as the shooter, say he was bullied for years and that teachers and school officials did nothing to protect him.

Two friends and their mother who spoke with the AP said Butler was a quiet person who had been bullied since elementary school.

All reports indicate the kid was bullied at school for years and it had been reported and nothing was done. When the bullies started in on his younger sister it was reported and the school didn't intervene.

The school including the faculty failed miserably and people were killed. Every faculty member who had knowledge of this and stood idly by should be fired. Laws need to be passed making faculty members criminally charged.

Did you just take an article and use that to call the shooter a victim?

I'm sure a lot of people own some portion of fault, but the individual person still makes choices.

 

[jamesvanderwulf]

Because you talk purer bullshit here Finance…..She is a nun who teaches….she is NOT a teacher. Sorry.

The nuns and priests at my Catholic grade school had way more education than the public, one room country school house teacher had. She would often take a nap at noon hour while the kids played outside and would often not wake up for 2 hours. We were jealous of the public school kids at the time. But later when our classmates became doctors, lawyers and military officers it was all forgotten...

 

[goldmom]

I’m not saying it should be. But keep in mind that when people bully they are doing it with the idea they think the bullied person can’t harm them. Well, that’s not always the case and the bully doesn’t get to define the rules of the “game”. You’re going to find that some people will fight back with their own rules. You might not like the outcome but then people shouldn’t be playing the game. Play dangerous games, get dangerous responses.

This cannot be young people of school age you’re referring to.
Adults…maybe. Kids…no.