"white privilege" doesn't take anything away from your hard work or your efforts. It simply is a recognition that your path was not further complicated by your skin color. You can and should be both proud of the fruits of your hard work and cognizant that other peoples' hard work has not borne the same fruit.
Amen.
Malcolm Gladwell's book
Outliers is an outstanding read and, IMO, relates to this very topic. It explores the hypothesis of factors playing into various peoples' successes. One of the central tenets of the book is essentially this: "Even though extremely successful people are [insert positive adjective such as brilliant, hard-working, etc], they commonly are the recipient of a good break in their lives which helps to launch their successes." He has a chapter on Bill Gates (who is undoubtedly brilliant) and how he had the fortune of being provided access to an early version of a computer at a local college. Without that access, who knows what would have happened. Does it detract from Gates' success? Absolutely not. But it recognizes that he was afforded a "good break" that others with similar skills/brain power did not.
Why do so many people take it personally when the term "white privilege" is used? My personal theory is because they somehow feel as if it minimizes their efforts in life. But, if you step back and be honest with yourself, the term is broad but accurate. Are their "privileges" associated with various status levels in our country? Anyone saying "no" is either hopelessly naive or lying. Easy example . . . Ivy League college admissions. You think that the playing field is level for all applicants? Did I, coming out of a rural high school in NE Iowa, have the same chance to get admitted into Harvard, Yale or Cornell as, say, the son/daughter of a graduate of one of those colleges? No way. That's a "privilege" that others enjoyed while I didn't. Did an African-American child who, through no fault of his/her own, attended inner city elementary, middle and high schools have the same opportunities to get admitted into a particular college? Hell no. I was "privileged" to attend solid (not elite) elementary schools, junior high and high school. That is, indeed, a "privilege" that I had over many inner city African-American students. Frankly, it was a "privilege" that I had over many students of all shapes, sizes and colors in the poorer parts of this country.
There is nothing demeaning about recognition of the fact that, while others had more "privilege" than I, I still had more "privilege" than others. Doesn't change the fact that I got good grades in HS, did well on ACT, admitted into Northwestern's School of Journalism (couldn't afford it), attended U of Iowa, graduated with two majors, did well on LSAT, admitted into Iowa's College of Law, passed the bar exam and have practiced law for 26+ years. Would my road have been less difficult if I wasn't the first attorney in my family or came from a family of wealth? Almost certainly. Was my road easier than those who didn't have some of my opportunities? Damn right.
I'll share a quick story. Every year, we go to the Iowa State Fair for one day and one day only. Last year, while getting a good beer at the Iowa Craft Beer tent, we couldn't find a place to sit so we stood just outside of the tent. A young African American teenager (likely 16, 17 or 18 years old) was working in an adjacent area and busting his ass carrying crates. Super hot day and, by the amount of sweat, you could tell that he working hard. He walked past a group of three white females (mid-20s?) who were smoking. I noticed that one female purposefully exhaled smoke in the area of the kid's face as he walked by. He didn't cough but he reacted to it. I figured it was an unfortunate mistake but noticed the female chuckle a bit after it happened. I then noticed the kid coming back to get another load of crates. This time, two of the females exhaled smoke in his face as he walked by. He waved the smoke away but kept looking straight ahead and walking. When he returned, the same two did it again. The kid kept walking and didn't say anything. All three women laughed. At this point, I took a couple of steps and asked "what the f--k was their problem?" Told them that they were scum and that if they didn't leave, I would report their conduct to the people running the tent and then find a cop. I got a couple of middle fingers thrown my way and told to mind my own "f--king business." I went to find someone in authority at the Craft Beer Tent but, by the time that I got back, they had left. They told my wife that I was an "f--king a--hole."
As I fumed about it afterwards, it dawned on me that there was zero (repeat that - zero) other African American adults among well over 100 people under the beer tent. It also dawned on me that these females didn't pull the "smoke stunt" on any other workers or patrons - who all happened to be white - that walked by. They did it to an African American teenager who happened to be working his ass off.
Little things like that . . . shit that people may not see or, perhaps, want to see. While I have no idea if that kid ever found out that the women were confronted, I'm confident that he probably understands "white privilege."
So, instead of taking offense and getting righteous when you hear the term "white privilege," stop for a second and be thankful for the opportunities presented to you and that perhaps you didn't have to fight through certain issues that others have had to fight through. And take a moment to try to understand what life may be like in others' shoes. I've never been pulled over by a police officer for failing to use a turn signal. But African-American friends of mine have. I've never had a store employee follow me around a store because that person thought that I may be a shoplifter but I have African-American friends that have. I've never had anyone cross the street as I approached them on the sidewalk to avoid me but I've have African-American friends that have had that happen to them.
I've never considered myself to be particularly "privileged" in the big scheme of life but I am not too proud to admit that I've had "privilege" that many in the African American community have not had.