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I was never sure this happened in real life

soybean

HR King
Sep 30, 2001
53,513
18,953
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A guy I used to sell equipment to up in Canada became a friend over the 40 years we did business. He called me yesterday to catch up as we had not seen each other in over a year. It was a normal conversation for about 5 minutes until he hesitated and ominously said "Michelle and I are having problems"....it suprised me because he and Michelle just had a 3 day 25th anniversary event/party a couple years ago and seemed for all the world to be a very happy couple. Both are in their middle 60's, in good health, have plenty of money, and a great business. This is the second marraige for both of them. Michelle is an attractive women but not a great beauty. He is a Gary Grant type and women swoon for him. Anyway, he tells me that about 3 months ago Michelle asked him if he would be ok with bringing in a 3rd person to the marriage...and she meant another man. But not just any man, or not the pool boy or gigalo type he imagined. Nope, she wanted to bring in a paticular fellow they both already knew. A 85 year old retired janitor that was teaching them both how to keep bees and their hive as a hobby, something he and Michelle could do together after they retired. But Michelle wanted this guy in their bed. At this point he started to cry and his sobbing made it hard to understand what he was saying, so we ended the call and agreed to talk later. Later turned out to be about 2 minutes and he was back to continue. More composed now he told me how he reluctantly agreed to her request but made it clear he was never going to be in the same bed with them for any reason. She agreed and they invited this guy whose name is, believe it or not, Guy, over for some wine. Apparently Guy and Michelle got right to the point and agreed in front of him to the details - Guy would come to their house 3 times a week to service Michelle. He said that he insisted that he always be present and the thing must occur in one of the spare bedrooms. He said that working out the details were like buying a used car - 3 timmes and week, but never on Sundays or a holiday. She wanted three hours but he insisted on just two. The only thing Guy wanted was for two of the three coupllngs to be in the morning.

He told me that for the first 2-3 weeks everything was as normal except that he and Michelle stopped having sex. Then Michelle announced she had fallen in love with Guy. In love with Guy, but did not want the marriage to end. She just wanted to "keep" Guy. Like a dumb ass he agreed.

The very next week Michelle announces that Guy will be moving in and taking up residence in two of the spare bedrooms. It is then that he discovers that Guy is a pipe smoker in their previously smoke free home. Shortly he discovered this room & board arrangement also included a lump some cash payment monthly for which Michelle noted as "Lesson" in the register.

Then he came home one day fearing he might catch Guy and Michelle expanding the 3 times a week agreement, but it was worse - a strange dog confronted him at the door and would not stop barking. Then he heard the sound of a child crying and Michelle rushing to the door with a young women in tow to pull back the dog. It was then that Michelle made the unhappy announcement that the young woman was Guy's grand daughter and her and he one year old child would be staying "for a while" while she sorted out some sort of romantic fall out she had. Oh, and her dog was staying too.

He said his home had decended into a bedlam of sorts and he couldn't imagine it getting any worse, until it did. Yesterday morning he woke up and Michelle was not in bed. He assumed she had fled to Guy's room for another session. He got up and headed for the kitchen and some coffee when he noticed a man he did not recognize coming out of one of Guy's room's - naked. He confronted the fellow asking who he was and what he was doing in his house naked. The man responded "i'm Robert, Guy's friend, I'm here for Michelle.

He asked me what I would do.
 
A guy I used to sell equipment to up in Canada became a friend over the 40 years we did business. He called me yesterday to catch up as we had not seen each other in over a year. It was a normal conversation for about 5 minutes until he hesitated and ominously said "Michelle and I are having problems"....it suprised me because he and Michelle just had a 3 day 25th anniversary event/party a couple years ago and seemed for all the world to be a very happy couple. Both are in their middle 60's, in good health, have plenty of money, and a great business. This is the second marraige for both of them. Michelle is an attractive women but not a great beauty. He is a Gary Grant type and women swoon for him. Anyway, he tells me that about 3 months ago Michelle asked him if he would be ok with bringing in a 3rd person to the marriage...and she meant another man. But not just any man, or not the pool boy or gigalo type he imagined. Nope, she wanted to bring in a paticular fellow they both already knew. A 85 year old retired janitor that was teaching them both how to keep bees and their hive as a hobby, something he and Michelle could do together after they retired. But Michelle wanted this guy in their bed. At this point he started to cry and his sobbing made it hard to understand what he was saying, so we ended the call and agreed to talk later. Later turned out to be about 2 minutes and he was back to continue. More composed now he told me how he reluctantly agreed to her request but made it clear he was never going to be in the same bed with them for any reason. She agreed and they invited this guy whose name is, believe it or not, Guy, over for some wine. Apparently Guy and Michelle got right to the point and agreed in front of him to the details - Guy would come to their house 3 times a week to service Michelle. He said that he insisted that he always be present and the thing must occur in one of the spare bedrooms. He said that working out the details were like buying a used car - 3 timmes and week, but never on Sundays or a holiday. She wanted three hours but he insisted on just two. The only thing Guy wanted was for two of the three coupllngs to be in the morning.

He told me that for the first 2-3 weeks everything was as normal except that he and Michelle stopped having sex. Then Michelle announced she had fallen in love with Guy. In love with Guy, but did not want the marriage to end. She just wanted to "keep" Guy. Like a dumb ass he agreed.

The very next week Michelle announces that Guy will be moving in and taking up residence in two of the spare bedrooms. It is then that he discovers that Guy is a pipe smoker in their previously smoke free home. Shortly he discovered this room & board arrangement also included a lump some cash payment monthly for which Michelle noted as "Lesson" in the register.

Then he came home one day fearing he might catch Guy and Michelle expanding the 3 times a week agreement, but it was worse - a strange dog confronted him at the door and would not stop barking. Then he heard the sound of a child crying and Michelle rushing to the door with a young women in tow to pull back the dog. It was then that Michelle made the unhappy announcement that the young woman was Guy's grand daughter and her and he one year old child would be staying "for a while" while she sorted out some sort of romantic fall out she had. Oh, and her dog was staying too.

He said his home had decended into a bedlam of sorts and he couldn't imagine it getting any worse, until it did. Yesterday morning he woke up and Michelle was not in bed. He assumed she had fled to Guy's room for another session. He got up and headed for the kitchen and some coffee when he noticed a man he did not recognize coming out of one of Guy's room's - naked. He confronted the fellow asking who he was and what he was doing in his house naked. The man responded "i'm Robert, Guy's friend, I'm here for Michelle.

He asked me what I would do.
The only correct thing to do in this situation is to bang the granddaughter.
 
This is the weirdest Dear Abby ever but it will be fun to pretend like it's legit so here goes:

Well, if he keeps agreeing to it then it's nobody else's business in my opinion. However, it doesn't sound like he agrees to that. He needs to find a lawyer and start divorce proceedings. She clearly doesn't love him anymore, has probably been getting plowed by this guy for years...even decades, and he will never be happy again in the current setup.

That or find some really desperate 20something looking for a sugar daddy and just have her move in and then every time they are going at it, the two of them have a competition to see who can be the most disruptive. Just make sure you get Netflix to film the reality show first.
 
he noticed a man he did not recognize coming out of one of Guy's room's - naked. He confronted the fellow asking who he was and what he was doing in his house naked. The man responded "i'm Robert, Guy's friend, I'm here for Michelle.
gangbang-yesman.gif
 
A guy I used to sell equipment to up in Canada became a friend over the 40 years we did business. He called me yesterday to catch up as we had not seen each other in over a year. It was a normal conversation for about 5 minutes until he hesitated and ominously said "Michelle and I are having problems"....it suprised me because he and Michelle just had a 3 day 25th anniversary event/party a couple years ago and seemed for all the world to be a very happy couple. Both are in their middle 60's, in good health, have plenty of money, and a great business. This is the second marraige for both of them. Michelle is an attractive women but not a great beauty. He is a Gary Grant type and women swoon for him. Anyway, he tells me that about 3 months ago Michelle asked him if he would be ok with bringing in a 3rd person to the marriage...and she meant another man. But not just any man, or not the pool boy or gigalo type he imagined. Nope, she wanted to bring in a paticular fellow they both already knew. A 85 year old retired janitor that was teaching them both how to keep bees and their hive as a hobby, something he and Michelle could do together after they retired. But Michelle wanted this guy in their bed. At this point he started to cry and his sobbing made it hard to understand what he was saying, so we ended the call and agreed to talk later. Later turned out to be about 2 minutes and he was back to continue. More composed now he told me how he reluctantly agreed to her request but made it clear he was never going to be in the same bed with them for any reason. She agreed and they invited this guy whose name is, believe it or not, Guy, over for some wine. Apparently Guy and Michelle got right to the point and agreed in front of him to the details - Guy would come to their house 3 times a week to service Michelle. He said that he insisted that he always be present and the thing must occur in one of the spare bedrooms. He said that working out the details were like buying a used car - 3 timmes and week, but never on Sundays or a holiday. She wanted three hours but he insisted on just two. The only thing Guy wanted was for two of the three coupllngs to be in the morning.

He told me that for the first 2-3 weeks everything was as normal except that he and Michelle stopped having sex. Then Michelle announced she had fallen in love with Guy. In love with Guy, but did not want the marriage to end. She just wanted to "keep" Guy. Like a dumb ass he agreed.

The very next week Michelle announces that Guy will be moving in and taking up residence in two of the spare bedrooms. It is then that he discovers that Guy is a pipe smoker in their previously smoke free home. Shortly he discovered this room & board arrangement also included a lump some cash payment monthly for which Michelle noted as "Lesson" in the register.

Then he came home one day fearing he might catch Guy and Michelle expanding the 3 times a week agreement, but it was worse - a strange dog confronted him at the door and would not stop barking. Then he heard the sound of a child crying and Michelle rushing to the door with a young women in tow to pull back the dog. It was then that Michelle made the unhappy announcement that the young woman was Guy's grand daughter and her and he one year old child would be staying "for a while" while she sorted out some sort of romantic fall out she had. Oh, and her dog was staying too.

He said his home had decended into a bedlam of sorts and he couldn't imagine it getting any worse, until it did. Yesterday morning he woke up and Michelle was not in bed. He assumed she had fled to Guy's room for another session. He got up and headed for the kitchen and some coffee when he noticed a man he did not recognize coming out of one of Guy's room's - naked. He confronted the fellow asking who he was and what he was doing in his house naked. The man responded "i'm Robert, Guy's friend, I'm here for Michelle.

He asked me what I would do.
I think people are crazy . . . so do I think Soybean is trolling the board . . . hard to say, but I lean towards this being a real conversation, and holy shit where is the Tylenol and everyone needs to get the hell out of my house now and this marriage is over.
 
A guy I used to sell equipment to up in Canada became a friend over the 40 years we did business. He called me yesterday to catch up as we had not seen each other in over a year. It was a normal conversation for about 5 minutes until he hesitated and ominously said "Michelle and I are having problems"....it suprised me because he and Michelle just had a 3 day 25th anniversary event/party a couple years ago and seemed for all the world to be a very happy couple. Both are in their middle 60's, in good health, have plenty of money, and a great business. This is the second marraige for both of them. Michelle is an attractive women but not a great beauty. He is a Gary Grant type and women swoon for him. Anyway, he tells me that about 3 months ago Michelle asked him if he would be ok with bringing in a 3rd person to the marriage...and she meant another man. But not just any man, or not the pool boy or gigalo type he imagined. Nope, she wanted to bring in a paticular fellow they both already knew. A 85 year old retired janitor that was teaching them both how to keep bees and their hive as a hobby, something he and Michelle could do together after they retired. But Michelle wanted this guy in their bed. At this point he started to cry and his sobbing made it hard to understand what he was saying, so we ended the call and agreed to talk later. Later turned out to be about 2 minutes and he was back to continue. More composed now he told me how he reluctantly agreed to her request but made it clear he was never going to be in the same bed with them for any reason. She agreed and they invited this guy whose name is, believe it or not, Guy, over for some wine. Apparently Guy and Michelle got right to the point and agreed in front of him to the details - Guy would come to their house 3 times a week to service Michelle. He said that he insisted that he always be present and the thing must occur in one of the spare bedrooms. He said that working out the details were like buying a used car - 3 timmes and week, but never on Sundays or a holiday. She wanted three hours but he insisted on just two. The only thing Guy wanted was for two of the three coupllngs to be in the morning.

He told me that for the first 2-3 weeks everything was as normal except that he and Michelle stopped having sex. Then Michelle announced she had fallen in love with Guy. In love with Guy, but did not want the marriage to end. She just wanted to "keep" Guy. Like a dumb ass he agreed.

The very next week Michelle announces that Guy will be moving in and taking up residence in two of the spare bedrooms. It is then that he discovers that Guy is a pipe smoker in their previously smoke free home. Shortly he discovered this room & board arrangement also included a lump some cash payment monthly for which Michelle noted as "Lesson" in the register.

Then he came home one day fearing he might catch Guy and Michelle expanding the 3 times a week agreement, but it was worse - a strange dog confronted him at the door and would not stop barking. Then he heard the sound of a child crying and Michelle rushing to the door with a young women in tow to pull back the dog. It was then that Michelle made the unhappy announcement that the young woman was Guy's grand daughter and her and he one year old child would be staying "for a while" while she sorted out some sort of romantic fall out she had. Oh, and her dog was staying too.

He said his home had decended into a bedlam of sorts and he couldn't imagine it getting any worse, until it did. Yesterday morning he woke up and Michelle was not in bed. He assumed she had fled to Guy's room for another session. He got up and headed for the kitchen and some coffee when he noticed a man he did not recognize coming out of one of Guy's room's - naked. He confronted the fellow asking who he was and what he was doing in his house naked. The man responded "i'm Robert, Guy's friend, I'm here for Michelle.

He asked me what I would do.
He’s f*cking with you…
Im Just Kidding Big Sean GIF by BuzzFeed
 
Not buying the whole “Canadian” aspect of all of this. If your friend was maybe a southerner, and this took place in New Orleans, for example, then maybe.
 
A guy I used to sell equipment to up in Canada became a friend over the 40 years we did business. He called me yesterday to catch up as we had not seen each other in over a year. It was a normal conversation for about 5 minutes until he hesitated and ominously said "Michelle and I are having problems"....it suprised me because he and Michelle just had a 3 day 25th anniversary event/party a couple years ago and seemed for all the world to be a very happy couple. Both are in their middle 60's, in good health, have plenty of money, and a great business. This is the second marraige for both of them. Michelle is an attractive women but not a great beauty. He is a Gary Grant type and women swoon for him. Anyway, he tells me that about 3 months ago Michelle asked him if he would be ok with bringing in a 3rd person to the marriage...and she meant another man. But not just any man, or not the pool boy or gigalo type he imagined. Nope, she wanted to bring in a paticular fellow they both already knew. A 85 year old retired janitor that was teaching them both how to keep bees and their hive as a hobby, something he and Michelle could do together after they retired. But Michelle wanted this guy in their bed. At this point he started to cry and his sobbing made it hard to understand what he was saying, so we ended the call and agreed to talk later. Later turned out to be about 2 minutes and he was back to continue. More composed now he told me how he reluctantly agreed to her request but made it clear he was never going to be in the same bed with them for any reason. She agreed and they invited this guy whose name is, believe it or not, Guy, over for some wine. Apparently Guy and Michelle got right to the point and agreed in front of him to the details - Guy would come to their house 3 times a week to service Michelle. He said that he insisted that he always be present and the thing must occur in one of the spare bedrooms. He said that working out the details were like buying a used car - 3 timmes and week, but never on Sundays or a holiday. She wanted three hours but he insisted on just two. The only thing Guy wanted was for two of the three coupllngs to be in the morning.

He told me that for the first 2-3 weeks everything was as normal except that he and Michelle stopped having sex. Then Michelle announced she had fallen in love with Guy. In love with Guy, but did not want the marriage to end. She just wanted to "keep" Guy. Like a dumb ass he agreed.

The very next week Michelle announces that Guy will be moving in and taking up residence in two of the spare bedrooms. It is then that he discovers that Guy is a pipe smoker in their previously smoke free home. Shortly he discovered this room & board arrangement also included a lump some cash payment monthly for which Michelle noted as "Lesson" in the register.

Then he came home one day fearing he might catch Guy and Michelle expanding the 3 times a week agreement, but it was worse - a strange dog confronted him at the door and would not stop barking. Then he heard the sound of a child crying and Michelle rushing to the door with a young women in tow to pull back the dog. It was then that Michelle made the unhappy announcement that the young woman was Guy's grand daughter and her and he one year old child would be staying "for a while" while she sorted out some sort of romantic fall out she had. Oh, and her dog was staying too.

He said his home had decended into a bedlam of sorts and he couldn't imagine it getting any worse, until it did. Yesterday morning he woke up and Michelle was not in bed. He assumed she had fled to Guy's room for another session. He got up and headed for the kitchen and some coffee when he noticed a man he did not recognize coming out of one of Guy's room's - naked. He confronted the fellow asking who he was and what he was doing in his house naked. The man responded "i'm Robert, Guy's friend, I'm here for Michelle.

He asked me what I would do.
What to do? Get us pics of Michelle man!

And tell him to go find one of those fine woman that swoon over him, bring her home, bang her brains out in his bedroom to see how Michelle likes it. Tit for twat. It’s that simple.
 
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