I was never sure this happened in real life

[desihawk]

@torbee does good work with his raunchy letters series but @soybean is the master of this genre. Hoping this is the beginning of a sequel that matches the terrific standard set by the SIL series.

 

[Hawki97]

The real question is, how much is your buddy tipping Guy? Inquiring minds (@BrianNole777 ) want to know!

 

[DirtyJohns97]

Life as a G indeed

 

[desihawk]

I get it. I never met Guy. Michelle is not a movie star looker, but she does have a figure that stops traffic.

help us out by telling us which celebrity she most resembles

 

[SoDakHawk]

Your Canadian buddy needs to throw them all out of the house, including Michelle. File for divorce and move on with his life.

 

[sdhawkeye]

I've read it twice now and still can't find the part about the money clip.

 

[Bierhalter]

A guy I used to sell equipment to up in Canada became a friend over the 40 years we did business. He called me yesterday to catch up as we had not seen each other in over a year. It was a normal conversation for about 5 minutes until he hesitated and ominously said "Michelle and I are having problems"....it suprised me because he and Michelle just had a 3 day 25th anniversary event/party a couple years ago and seemed for all the world to be a very happy couple. Both are in their middle 60's, in good health, have plenty of money, and a great business. This is the second marraige for both of them. Michelle is an attractive women but not a great beauty. He is a Gary Grant type and women swoon for him. Anyway, he tells me that about 3 months ago Michelle asked him if he would be ok with bringing in a 3rd person to the marriage...and she meant another man. But not just any man, or not the pool boy or gigalo type he imagined. Nope, she wanted to bring in a paticular fellow they both already knew. A 85 year old retired janitor that was teaching them both how to keep bees and their hive as a hobby, something he and Michelle could do together after they retired. But Michelle wanted this guy in their bed. At this point he started to cry and his sobbing made it hard to understand what he was saying, so we ended the call and agreed to talk later. Later turned out to be about 2 minutes and he was back to continue. More composed now he told me how he reluctantly agreed to her request but made it clear he was never going to be in the same bed with them for any reason. She agreed and they invited this guy whose name is, believe it or not, Guy, over for some wine. Apparently Guy and Michelle got right to the point and agreed in front of him to the details - Guy would come to their house 3 times a week to service Michelle. He said that he insisted that he always be present and the thing must occur in one of the spare bedrooms. He said that working out the details were like buying a used car - 3 timmes and week, but never on Sundays or a holiday. She wanted three hours but he insisted on just two. The only thing Guy wanted was for two of the three coupllngs to be in the morning.

He told me that for the first 2-3 weeks everything was as normal except that he and Michelle stopped having sex. Then Michelle announced she had fallen in love with Guy. In love with Guy, but did not want the marriage to end. She just wanted to "keep" Guy. Like a dumb ass he agreed.

The very next week Michelle announces that Guy will be moving in and taking up residence in two of the spare bedrooms. It is then that he discovers that Guy is a pipe smoker in their previously smoke free home. Shortly he discovered this room & board arrangement also included a lump some cash payment monthly for which Michelle noted as "Lesson" in the register.

Then he came home one day fearing he might catch Guy and Michelle expanding the 3 times a week agreement, but it was worse - a strange dog confronted him at the door and would not stop barking. Then he heard the sound of a child crying and Michelle rushing to the door with a young women in tow to pull back the dog. It was then that Michelle made the unhappy announcement that the young woman was Guy's grand daughter and her and he one year old child would be staying "for a while" while she sorted out some sort of romantic fall out she had. Oh, and her dog was staying too.

He said his home had decended into a bedlam of sorts and he couldn't imagine it getting any worse, until it did. Yesterday morning he woke up and Michelle was not in bed. He assumed she had fled to Guy's room for another session. He got up and headed for the kitchen and some coffee when he noticed a man he did not recognize coming out of one of Guy's room's - naked. He confronted the fellow asking who he was and what he was doing in his house naked. The man responded "i'm Robert, Guy's friend, I'm here for Michelle.

He asked me what I would do.

"Guy"? Friends don't let Canadian friends fraternize with Quebecois.

 

[TC Nole OX]

help us out by telling us which celebrity she most resembles

Current Kelly McGillis not 1980’s Kelly McGillis

 

[TC Nole OX]

Current Kelly McGillis not 1980’s Kelly McGillis

 

[RollingBallofButcherKnives]

"Guy"? Friends don't let Canadian friends fraternize with Quebecois.

Good fishing in Quebec…

 

[torbee]

I'd like to say wood not, but it's been a bit of a dry spell.

I'm so gotdam horny, the crack of dawn better look out.

 

[Derekd3408]

I get it. I never met Guy. Michelle is not a movie star looker, but she does have a figure that stops traffic.

That body reeled in an 85 yr old, I believe it.

 

[Bierhalter]

Good fishing in Quebec…

If that were true ol' Guy wouldn't have gone "fishing" somewhere else.

 

[Derekd3408]

I'm with those that say Canada dude needs to start tapping that granddaughter ASAP.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

 

[Thunderlips71]

There is only one correct answer here:

 

[JustSayOV]

Good fishing in Quebec…

Well done Rolling Ball....well done

 

[RicoSuave102954]

1. Start cleaning out all joint accounts asap once that is accomplished move to step 2.

2. Tell Guy and his extended family to GTFO in the next hour.

3. Tell Guy's friend if he ever steps foot on the property he is going to catch the dead.

4. Tell Michelle it's over and to get out and he'll see her in court.

 

[NDallasRuss]

There is only one correct answer here:

Yeah, I think Canada guy has no choice but to go with murder-murder-murder-murder-let the dog outside-suicide.

 

[Moral]

There is only one correct answer here:

That isn't the Metallica album I would play if I wanted them to leave.

 

[McLovin32]

That body reeled in an 85 yr old bee keeper, I believe it.

FIFY. Bee keepers, despite their age, are well known for their ability to get chicks. Everyone knows that.

 

[torbee]

FIFY. Bee keepers, despite their age, are well known for their ability to get chicks. Everyone knows that.

 

[RollingBallofButcherKnives]

I guess we get to see her when her Only Fans site comes out…

 

[TDJ7]

 

[jamesvanderwulf]

Much like Mitt Romney, @torbee has a binder full of women, thick women, NTTAWWT....

 

[torbee]

Much like Mitt Romney, @torbee has a binder full of women, thick women, NTTAWWT....

BinderS, I have binders (plural) full of thick women.

Some pages *may* stick together.

 

[LuciousBDragon]

 

[Thunderlips71]

Bean’s friend has two options:
1. Get gay with Guy
2. Invite Sasquatch to their next orgy and let him rip these squatting freaks from limb to limb

 

[h-hawk]

I guess we get to see her when her Only Fans site comes out…

 

[torbee]

Bean’s friend has two options:
1. Get gay with Guy
2. Invite Sasquatch to their next orgy and let him rip these squatting freaks from limb to limb

3. Have 4-way with Guy, Michelle and Squatch

 

[Thunderlips71]

3. Have 4-way with Guy, Michelle and Squatch

 

[Derekd3408]

FIFY. Bee keepers, despite their age, are well known for their ability to get chicks. Everyone knows that.

Confirmed. Just ordered a couple dozen hives.

 

[McLovin32]

Confirmed. Just ordered a couple dozen hives.

View embedded media

Strong wood

 

[JWolf74]

"Guy"? Friends don't let Canadian friends fraternize with Quebecois.

Yeah, but it's pronounced Gee, which may actually be worse.

 

[Derekd3408]

Strong wood

Get some bees, brah. They will be in short supply when the secret is out.

 

[Thunderlips71]

I’m with Torbs on this one. Strong WOOD

 

[thewop]

1. Start cleaning out all joint accounts asap once that is accomplished move to step 2.

2. Tell Guy and his extended family to GTFO in the next hour.

3. Tell Guy's friend if he ever steps foot on the property he is going to catch the dead.

4. Tell Michelle it's over and to get out and he'll see her in court.

Include cutting off her Credit cards in step 1. Better yet cancel the accounts because she'll probably be able to reactivate the card.

This happened to my BIL where she went on a crazy spending spree and so far he's the one holding all the debt, she's not responsible for any of it. Still in court...

 

[OutbackBowl2017]

Killer bees take out Guy and Michelle.

 

[cfbfan23]

Yeah, but it's pronounced Gee, which may actually be worse.

 

[Tenacious E]

This would be a cooler story if it happened in new orleans.

With sorority girls rather than Social Security recipients.

 

[Tom Paris]

There's absolutely no way this story is real.

"A story like that's gotta be true!" ~ Cosmo Kramer