Let me preface this with a couple of comments:
1. I'm not going to revel with what ISU is currently facing. I have grave concerns that this will not ultimately stop at "power schools" flexing financial muscle and leaving schools in small population states and low TV revenue states behind. None of what is going on should make Iowa fans feel comfortable with where Iowa sits in the overall picture.
2. While I won't revel in ISU's situation, I certainly can mock how certain people respond. And I readily admit to thinking that Jamie Pollard is a giant freaking douche bag.
So . . . with that written, here goes:
Jamie Pollard: "So, Texas, you better be ready to open up your wallets and pay the penalty. The remaining Big 12 teams have no intention of disbanding and will hold you to your previously committed financial responsibilities."
University of Texas: "Are you talking about a $79M to $80M payout?"
Jamie Pollard: "You're god damned right I am."
University of Texas: "Are you sure?"
Jamie Pollard (chest out): "Hell to the yes."
University of Texas: "Just curious. Do you know what percentage $79,000,000 is of $31,900,000,000?"
Jamie Pollard: "Uh . . . uh . . . uh . . . no one told me that there would be math involved. I don't have a calculator on me."
University of Texas: "Let us help. $79M divided by $31.9B is 0.2%. The payout is literally .2% of our $31.9 billion endowment. With that . . . to whom should we make the check payable? By the way . . pro tip . . there's a calculator app on your smart phone."
(PHONE RINGS)
Jamie Pollard's secretary interrupts: "Mr. Pollard, Mr. Bowlsby is on the line. He needs to talk to you immediately. Apparently ESPN and FOX have called a special meeting to discuss re-working the contract in light of Oklahoma and Texas' departures and Mr. Bowlsby needs all of the ADs from the remaining 8 members on the call."
University of Texas: "Good luck with the call and the negotiations. The good news is that you can use the $79M check from us to offset the reductions that will be demanded by ESPN and FOX. Its the least we can do to soften the financial pain. Now, again, to whom should we make the check payable?"