I can’t sleep.
I mean there are multiple angles from this that are just… I’m having a difficult time shaking.
Not sure if anyone knows my personal situation, but I am a single father of 3 daughters and have my girls 90% of the time. I work at a factory, for it pays more than my field of study. My daughters and I get by only on my income. Yesterday, I had to write a check for $171 for my 4 year old’s daycare before leaving for Iowa City… also before leaving, I had to take $150 out of my account for Club volleyball fees, my gf and I’s tickets for yesterday and for a sitter to watch my daughters when I was at the meet last night. I can’t wait for my next paycheck…which is Thursday. I regretted nothing in terms of what I decided to spend my money on until I got to the parking lot at Carver yesterday.
I wouldn’t have blown up the way I did if: 1.) his redshirt wasn’t pulled Saturday and 2.) If I was at home watching it on B10 Network, opposed to spending money that I do not have an abundance of to watch at Carver.
Just… a heads up or an indication somewhere, anywhere would have been convenient. There was nothing to indicate to us that he wasn’t wrestling…. His anticipated debut was posted everywhere, from multiple media outlets… there wasn’t some “leak.” I mean, it was a huge talking point that the media ran with for the narrative leading to the meet…his press conference, the newspapers, etc… Everyone from SE Iowa who follows wrestling was under the impression that he was going yesterday.
I am very sorry to some of you that I may have disrespected in my responses yesterday when this went down. If I were wise, I would have simply handed my phone to my gf, because social media and me are not a good combination when I am upset and I knew better.
I am also extremely sorry to my brother/family… My impulsive decision making with this did not do him any favors. He is under enough stress right now… the last thing he needs is to feel tension with his teammates because his raw nerve of an older brother can’t keep his “chill factor” maintained.
I obviously should have waited until some of this stuff (his shirt) was made clear to us, but at the time, I was so upset that the possibility of there being a reason for things going the way they did, did not occur to me.
I regret so much about the way I handled this yesterday, and FWIW, I apologize to anyone who may have been rubbed the wrong way by it and I would be an idiot to blame anyone for feeling that way. I did nothing, but made an unfortunate situation worse than it already was.
