Which one of you ...

[Jimmy McGill]

keeps having random Story County Jehovah's witnesses sending me personalized letters?

Granted, only a few of you know my name. But I'm going to start posting these letters

 

[Hawki97]

Since I don't have your name, I just decided to sick the JW's on every practicing attorney in Story County. Glad it worked.

 

[goldmom]

keeps having random Story County Jehovah's witnesses sending me personalized letters?

Granted, only a few of you know my name. But I'm going to start posting these letters

Do it! 😂

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Since I don't have your name, I just decided to sick the JW's on every practicing attorney in Story County. Glad it worked.

I mean, I'm getting them at least monthly. I haven't rep'd a JW in over a decade.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

The letters are poorly written. Almost as though they could still be using Microsoft 95

 

[goldmom]

The letters are poorly written. Almost as though they could still be using Microsoft 95

So you expect those folks to have a way with words?
Their pamphlets have pictures of Catholic priests marching into hellfire. I mean that says it all, right?

 

[ButtersHawk]

The letters are poorly written. Almost as though they could still be using Microsoft 95

They are the Amish of American religions

 

[goldmom]

They are the Amish of American religions

I thought the Amish were…

 

[Jimmy McGill]

So you expect those folks to have a way with words?
Their pamphlets have pictures of Catholic priests marching into hellfire. I mean that says it all, right?

I guess I figured since they have so many rules (no blood transfusions), that they would be more disciplined and have more time not to come across as an idiot.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

I really need to let @BrianNole777 ghostwrite my response to them.

 

[BrianNole777]

So you expect those folks to have a way with words?
Their pamphlets have pictures of Catholic priests marching into hellfire. I mean that says it all, right?

Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in Hell.

@the24fan is one and can explain.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

The letter says they can talk to me in 1,027 different languages. LMAO

 

[IACub]

I kept getting emails from someone from a random Pop Warner football league in Illinois. I replied politely that I live in Iowa and I don't have kids, please take me off the list. Kept getting them. I was more firm, take me off the dang list. Kept getting them. Finally I replied all to the group that if they didn't take me off the list that I was going to forward all of their emails to all of my friends and have them spammed with any information we could find on narwhal whales. The emails stopped.

I don't know if this works with Jehovah's Witnesses, but narwhals are always an option.

 

[IACub]

The letter says they can talk to me in 1,027 different languages. LMAO

That actually sounds kind of fun. Ask if they speak Klingon.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

I kept getting emails from someone from a random Pop Warner football league in Illinois. I replied politely that I live in Iowa and I don't have kids, please take me off the list. Kept getting them. I was more firm, take me off the dang list. Kept getting them. Finally I replied all to the group that if they didn't take me off the list that I was going to forward all of their emails to all of my friends and have them spammed with any information we could find on narwhal whales. The emails stopped.

I don't know if this works with Jehovah's Witnesses, but narwhals are always an option.

Great idea, but obviously I'm going the NAMBLA route.

 

[jasonrann]

keeps having random Story County Jehovah's witnesses sending me personalized letters?

Granted, only a few of you know my name. But I'm going to start posting these letters

Interesting.

I received an email from a kind gentleman in Nigeria who apparently learned of a long lost relative of mine that had passed away. The poor soul was LOADED and I am next of kin. Giddy up. I gave him my credit card number so he can overnight the cashier's check worth millions straight away. My days on HORT are numbered, BA-BAY!

 

[Finance85]

keeps having random Story County Jehovah's witnesses sending me personalized letters?

Granted, only a few of you know my name. But I'm going to start posting these letters

 

[IACub]

Great idea, but obviously I'm going the NAMBLA route.

The National Association of Marlon Brando Look Alikes, right?

Right???

 

[Finance85]

Interesting.

I received an email from a kind gentleman in Nigeria who apparently learned of a long lost relative of mine that had passed away. The poor soul was LOADED and I am next of kin. Giddy up. I gave him my credit card number so he can overnight the cashier's check worth millions straight away. My days on HORT are numbered, BA-BAY!

I think I know that guy.... I told him I'd get back to him after I dealt with my family member's estate.... He seemed eager to help me with my investments.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

I have a return address. I kind of feel like dropping off a ton of porn off on their doorstep. For you penthouse and playboy subscribers, I need some help.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Marvin Spates. That is your letter writer.

 

[IACub]

I have a return address. I kind of feel like dropping off a ton of porn off on their doorstep. For you penthouse and playboy subscribers, I need some help.

No. I need those.

 

[jasonrann]

I have a return address. I kind of feel like dropping off a ton of porn off on their doorstep. For you penthouse and playboy subscribers, I need some help.

Oh, now I would go with something a tad more exotic.

 

[Finance85]

I have a return address. I kind of feel like dropping off a ton of porn off on their doorstep. For you penthouse and playboy subscribers, I need some help.

You're gonna need a big truck for this crowd's stuff. Better narrow it down - no stuck pages....

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Oh, now I would go with something a tad more exotic.

I'll take any donations.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Who wants to help?

 

[IACub]

I'll take any donations.

Pretty deep dive to get a mountain of porn. Kudos to you, sir.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Pretty deep dive to get a mountain of porn. Kudos to you, sir.

JW's need porn too. Service above self.

 

[pink shizzle]

The letter says they can talk to me in 1,027 different languages. LMAO

C3P0 is Jehovah's Witness?! Dude was also full of crap and massively ovexaggerated the number of forms of communication he was fluent in..

 

[OutbackBowl2017]

Who wants to help?

Sick the nihilists on them…..

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Sick the nihilists on them…..

I'm not messing around with the nihilists. They are likely to throw a marment in my tub or burn my car.

 

[goldmom]

You're gonna need a big truck for this crowd's stuff. Better narrow it down - no stuck pages....

😳

 

[the24fan]

I mean, I'm getting them at least monthly. I haven't rep'd a JW in over a decade.

There is letter writing territory , so if you are in rural area it’s possible that’s the easiest way to try and reach people.
During COVID it was the only way we could do our ministry, as the door to door ministry was put on halt.
In addition some of the older folks who can’t do as much door t door ministry use letters as a way of participating in the ministry as well.
We try and reach as many people as possible by many means, letters, there is business witnessing, public ministry carts, phone witnessing , the door to door work etc… it’s all about love of neighbor and following Jesus command to “make disciples of people of all the nations” Matthew 28:19,20

 

[the24fan]

The letter says they can talk to me in 1,027 different languages. LMAO

That’s no joke.
The website Jw.org is legit and Bible literature is available in over 1000 languages. It’s available on more languages than any other website . You can fact check that.

 

[drew_hawk]

I'm not messing around with the nihilists. They are likely to throw a marment in my tub or burn my car.

And then tomorrow maybe ve come back and cut off your chonson.

 

[Jimmy McGill]

There is letter writing territory , so if you are in rural area it’s possible that’s the easiest way to try and reach people.
During COVID it was the only way we could do our ministry, as the door to door ministry was put on halt.
In addition some of the older folks who can’t do as much door t door ministry use letters as a way of participating in the ministry as well.
We try and reach as many people as possible by many means, letters, there is business witnessing, public ministry carts, phone witnessing , the door to door work etc… it’s all about love of neighbor and following Jesus command to “make disciples of people of all the nations” Matthew 28:19,20

I wasn't quoted that one. I was given Matthew 6.10 and Psalm 72: 12-14

 

[Jimmy McGill]

That’s no joke.
The website Jw.org is legit and Bible literature is available in over 1000 languages. It’s available on more languages than any other website . You can fact check that.

How come you can come up with liturgy in 1000 languages, but you refuse blood transfusions?

 

[the24fan]

I wasn't quoted that one. I was given Matthew 6.10 and Psalm 72: 12-14

Oh ok. I’m familiar with both . Model prayer and God saving the on lowly ones crying for help .
My scripture was just explaining why we do many means to preach the good news of the kingdom . Matthew 28:29,20 is Jesus command go and make disciples in all nations.

 

[the24fan]

How come you can come up with liturgy in 1000 languages, but you refuse blood transfusions?

The blood issue is quite simple actually .
The following link explains it faster than I can type it all.
https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&docid=502013211&srcid=share

 

[Jimmy McGill]

Oh ok. I’m familiar with both . Model prayer and God saving the on lowly ones crying for help .
My scripture was just explaining why we do many means to preach the good news of the kingdom . Matthew 28:29,20 is Jesus command go and make disciples in all nations.

More power to you in your faith.

I just can't understand them wasting postage on me.