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1,000 words on Iowa sucking...

torbee

HR King
Gold Member
Is the basic theme of this week's Tuesdays With Torbee. Still think the Hawks can win the West, though, as everyone in there sucks too.

Tuesdays with Torbee​

David Bell once again got away from the Hawkeye secondary.




Tory Brecht
Columnist


One. Freaking. Guy.

That’s what I kept yelling during the fourth quarter from my seats in Section 103 as David Bell turned Iowa defenders into hapless extras in yet another personal highlight reel created at the Hawkeyes’ expense.

Only I didn’t use the word “freaking” - much to the chagrin of Mrs. Torbee and the kindly older Purdue fan lady who greeted my late-game “congrats on the win, your team is excellent” with a “thanks, but I don’t care for the salty language.”

But if ever a game provided legitimate excuse for frequently deploying expletive-filled language, this (ahem) show was the one.

There is no sugarcoating last Saturday’s putrid performance. It was a total team loss. The offensive line played lousy. The quarterback played lousy. The defensive line got zero pressure, allowing all three Purdue quarterbacks to pass and run with impunity. Iowa’s heretofore consistently excellent placekicker shanked a field goal attempt. Even Tory Taylor looked pretty pedestrian. I guess Charlie Jones had a nice day returning all of Purdue’s scores, but no one on offense could take advantage and put points on the board themselves. It was a crap sandwich served on moldy bread on what was otherwise a beautiful fall homecoming day.

Look, most realistic Iowa fans knew this inconsistent team wasn’t really the second-best team in college football. It turns out you have to be able to move the ball and score with consistency to be a true Top 5 contender. But with only a pedestrian-appearing Purdue standing between the Hawkeyes entering the bye week with an undefeated record and #2 ranking, it was setting up for a few more weeks of tweaking the college football intelligentsia about the superiority of “complementary” football.

Turns out consistency is more important than complement, with Purdue Coach Jeff Brohm and star receiver David Bell showing a consistent ability to kick Iowa’s ass up and down a football field.
It is a good thing the bye week looms, as Saturday’s performance (or lack thereof) is the kind of thing that could defeat a program twice. If Iowa players had been resting on their laurels or thinking they could just show up and beat down their Big 10 West Division foes, that notion was brutally knocked out of them Saturday.

That said, I don’t feel like Iowa came out “flat” or uninspired or with a hangover from its emotional victory over Penn State. The first play of the game, a beautiful catch-and-run from Keagan Johnson, indicated Iowa was ready to go. Of course he was never really targeted again, one of many head-scratching personnel and coaching decisions that highlighted that the staff and players were all uncharacteristically off their game this day.

Tyler Goodson averaged a robust 5.7 yards a carry, but only toted the ball 12 times. Arland Bruce, the other explosive young wide receiver, was only targeted once. It’s pretty obvious Iowa has no real offensive identity. It often appears coordinator Brian Ferentz is content to just throw stuff against the wall, hoping something sticks. But what is inexplicable is even when he finds something that works, he seems to immediately shelve it, looking for some new approach.

But the biggest disappointment in my mind was the performance of Iowa’s defensive line. It’s easy to wonder what happened to a skilled secondary that had been picking off balls and making life miserable for opposing quarterbacks, but it seems obvious to me it all starts up front. They say if you don’t have one good quarterback, you don’t have any, but Iowa managed to make a trio of Purdue signal callers look like all stars. On throwing plays, they had all day. On running plays, they had gaping holes. Iowa may have held onto its long streak of holding teams to 24 points or less, but not because it played good defense on Saturday.

So is there a silver lining in this litany of gloom?

I think so. The Hawkeyes still control their own Big 10 championship destiny. Win out, and they go to Indianapolis with a shot at a big time bowl or even a backdoor playoff spot if they win the whole thing. Likely? Probably not. But possible.

The team I watched Saturday looked very little like the team I watched the first six games of the season.

I remain convinced that the raw talent on this squad is among the best of the Ferentz era. Some young guys need to get old in a hurry and the two lines need to shore up their technique and intensity. But there are no world-beating teams left on the schedule.

It’s also possible that Purdue is current-era Kirk Ferentz’s kryptonite. I have watched quite a few of their games, and it is only against Iowa that they somehow avoid penalties, turnovers and other costly mistakes. It is only against Iowa that their offensive line is a brick wall and their receivers scamper unmolested across the field. I have no logical explanation for it, so I’m going to chalk it up to them just being a bad matchup for Iowa’s brand of football. It happens.

I guess the other silver lining is that last Saturday was not a “coulda, woulda, shoulda” game. I didn’t wake up Sunday thinking “man, if they would have just….” Or “If that guy had only been able to….” To a man, Iowa was beaten soundly. Every player and coach needs to own that and figure out what went wrong and how to fix it.

Both Iowa and Wisconsin are wondering where things went wrong and know the game in Madison may determine the best of the West. Iowa is back rolling around in the West Division muck and will have to claw and scrape for any shred of respect. At least it’s a familiar position for this program.

Time to get to work.
 
I believe that last Saturday might have been PParker's worst game plan as DC. And the reason for that may go above him....but it is what it is. I believe (or wanna believe) Iowa coaches thought they were good enough to s,kate by Purdue and win ugly and get to the "bye week" 7-0......Surprise! They weren't! They got caught with their pants down.
Now guys.......get a "game plan" and beat Wisconsin ! Please.....Not often has KF and PP disappointed me. Last Saturday, I was disappointed in their plan.
 
They have 2 losses. Overall record is the first tiebreaker. Head-to-head is second.

That's my understanding anyway.
Overall record in the BiG, not overall record. You don't get to give yourself a tie-breaker edge in winning a BiG division by scheduling cupcakes in the non-conference.
 
Overall record in the BiG, not overall record. You don't get to give yourself a tie-breaker edge in winning a BiG division by scheduling cupcakes in the non-conference.
Iowa always schedules cupcakes in their non-conference. It's why everyone says they have a fake ID.
 
Iowa always schedules cupcakes in their non-conference. It's why everyone says they have a fake ID.
Oh phuque Iowa's "fake ID" moniker......over the season, Iowa matches up well with the vast majority of D-1 football teams. I remember Iowa playing USC, Oregon State, Nebraska and OU in pre-season games...and it was 3 losses. You play a team you can beat...you play a team that might beat you and a rival and go from there....
 
Iowa always schedules cupcakes in their non-conference. It's why everyone says they have a fake ID.

They had Indiana and ISU which were both ranked at the time. They played the cupcakes close and rekt Maryland and their juggernaut offense. They also beat PSU. Iowa usually picks up later in the season, the OL needs to get it going or the need to leave a rb or fb for protection. They have to reconsider their WR depth chart, sorry Tracy. DJ and Bruce look like the McNutt DJK of years ago. I guess CJ would be the KMM at that point.
 
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Oh phuque Iowa's "fake ID" moniker......over the season, Iowa matches up well with the vast majority of D-1 football teams. I remember Iowa playing USC, Oregon State, Nebraska and OU in pre-season games...and it was 3 losses. You play a team you can beat...you play a team that might beat you and a rival and go from there....
You also remember that all the Big X schools had nothing to play for besides the Rose Bowl back in the day. So what if you went 0- 3 in the NC, vs. USC, Penn State and Oregon, if you won the Big you went to the Rose and everyone else went home, until 1975. ( the Big X didn't want to tarnish their brand in lesser bowls, I guess ).
 
Is the basic theme of this week's Tuesdays With Torbee. Still think the Hawks can win the West, though, as everyone in there sucks too.

Tuesdays with Torbee​

David Bell once again got away from the Hawkeye secondary.




Tory Brecht
Columnist


One. Freaking. Guy.

That’s what I kept yelling during the fourth quarter from my seats in Section 103 as David Bell turned Iowa defenders into hapless extras in yet another personal highlight reel created at the Hawkeyes’ expense.

Only I didn’t use the word “freaking” - much to the chagrin of Mrs. Torbee and the kindly older Purdue fan lady who greeted my late-game “congrats on the win, your team is excellent” with a “thanks, but I don’t care for the salty language.”

But if ever a game provided legitimate excuse for frequently deploying expletive-filled language, this (ahem) show was the one.

There is no sugarcoating last Saturday’s putrid performance. It was a total team loss. The offensive line played lousy. The quarterback played lousy. The defensive line got zero pressure, allowing all three Purdue quarterbacks to pass and run with impunity. Iowa’s heretofore consistently excellent placekicker shanked a field goal attempt. Even Tory Taylor looked pretty pedestrian. I guess Charlie Jones had a nice day returning all of Purdue’s scores, but no one on offense could take advantage and put points on the board themselves. It was a crap sandwich served on moldy bread on what was otherwise a beautiful fall homecoming day.

Look, most realistic Iowa fans knew this inconsistent team wasn’t really the second-best team in college football. It turns out you have to be able to move the ball and score with consistency to be a true Top 5 contender. But with only a pedestrian-appearing Purdue standing between the Hawkeyes entering the bye week with an undefeated record and #2 ranking, it was setting up for a few more weeks of tweaking the college football intelligentsia about the superiority of “complementary” football.

Turns out consistency is more important than complement, with Purdue Coach Jeff Brohm and star receiver David Bell showing a consistent ability to kick Iowa’s ass up and down a football field.
It is a good thing the bye week looms, as Saturday’s performance (or lack thereof) is the kind of thing that could defeat a program twice. If Iowa players had been resting on their laurels or thinking they could just show up and beat down their Big 10 West Division foes, that notion was brutally knocked out of them Saturday.

That said, I don’t feel like Iowa came out “flat” or uninspired or with a hangover from its emotional victory over Penn State. The first play of the game, a beautiful catch-and-run from Keagan Johnson, indicated Iowa was ready to go. Of course he was never really targeted again, one of many head-scratching personnel and coaching decisions that highlighted that the staff and players were all uncharacteristically off their game this day.

Tyler Goodson averaged a robust 5.7 yards a carry, but only toted the ball 12 times. Arland Bruce, the other explosive young wide receiver, was only targeted once. It’s pretty obvious Iowa has no real offensive identity. It often appears coordinator Brian Ferentz is content to just throw stuff against the wall, hoping something sticks. But what is inexplicable is even when he finds something that works, he seems to immediately shelve it, looking for some new approach.

But the biggest disappointment in my mind was the performance of Iowa’s defensive line. It’s easy to wonder what happened to a skilled secondary that had been picking off balls and making life miserable for opposing quarterbacks, but it seems obvious to me it all starts up front. They say if you don’t have one good quarterback, you don’t have any, but Iowa managed to make a trio of Purdue signal callers look like all stars. On throwing plays, they had all day. On running plays, they had gaping holes. Iowa may have held onto its long streak of holding teams to 24 points or less, but not because it played good defense on Saturday.

So is there a silver lining in this litany of gloom?

I think so. The Hawkeyes still control their own Big 10 championship destiny. Win out, and they go to Indianapolis with a shot at a big time bowl or even a backdoor playoff spot if they win the whole thing. Likely? Probably not. But possible.

The team I watched Saturday looked very little like the team I watched the first six games of the season.

I remain convinced that the raw talent on this squad is among the best of the Ferentz era. Some young guys need to get old in a hurry and the two lines need to shore up their technique and intensity. But there are no world-beating teams left on the schedule.

It’s also possible that Purdue is current-era Kirk Ferentz’s kryptonite. I have watched quite a few of their games, and it is only against Iowa that they somehow avoid penalties, turnovers and other costly mistakes. It is only against Iowa that their offensive line is a brick wall and their receivers scamper unmolested across the field. I have no logical explanation for it, so I’m going to chalk it up to them just being a bad matchup for Iowa’s brand of football. It happens.

I guess the other silver lining is that last Saturday was not a “coulda, woulda, shoulda” game. I didn’t wake up Sunday thinking “man, if they would have just….” Or “If that guy had only been able to….” To a man, Iowa was beaten soundly. Every player and coach needs to own that and figure out what went wrong and how to fix it.

Both Iowa and Wisconsin are wondering where things went wrong and know the game in Madison may determine the best of the West. Iowa is back rolling around in the West Division muck and will have to claw and scrape for any shred of respect. At least it’s a familiar position for this program.

Time to get to work.
You said picking off balls
 
David Bell - 240 yards (Kinnick Stadium record)
Iowa total team offense - 271 yards

Before the game I would have bet a million dollars that Parker would go all-out to stop Bell. I guess getting absolutely torched by Bell twice before wasn't enough. Single' coverage with a ten yard cushion ... didn't see that coming (neither did Brohm!).
 
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Like drake? Incarnate word? I'd rather have a fake ID than no ID in the college football world. And yes, Iowa shoulda dropped those cupcakes from Lames a long time ago
not everyone says that. Cowherd did and it caught on mostly with Cyclone fans
 
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not everyone says that. Cowherd did and it caught on mostly with Cyclone fans
If Iowa is the fake id of college football, Iowa State is the dumb junior in high school who gets invited to the big college party, gets roofied and has a train run on her in a dirty frat bathroom by STD-riddled morons and goes home filled with shame, degradation and humiliation.
 
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