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American sprinter Sha'Carri Richardson tests positive for cannabis, Olympic hopes in doubt

Ring. Ring. “Hello. Olympic headquarters. How may we help you?”

“Yeah. Hey, this is Carla Johansson. I just heard weed isn’t allowed in ANY women’s competition in this year’s Olympics?”

“Correct. We will not tolerate ANYTHING that might give you an advantage against other women.”

“Are you planning on strip-searching all of us?”

“No. That would be a violation of your rights.”

“Cool. So if I just duct tape it to my balls I should be able to sail right through to the medal rounds....see ya’ then.”
 
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