Every day in public interactions I’m basically becoming the real life version of the Progressive “Don’t become your parents.” commercial.
Yesterday I bought 5 power ball quick picks. Jackpot was like $250 million. I said, “Heh…$250 million is like nothing now. You know, when I was in college I remember the first time it hit $100 million and you couldn’t get into stores to buy a ticket the day of because of how crowded it was. Now it resets at like $100 million!” The 22 year old girl with the nose ring was like, “Um…you want anything else you old gross dude?”
Today I’m on an elevator with my son and a young lady is on there and the door is staying open longer than normal. I said, “You know why they stay open longer at medical offices? So wheelchairs and stretchers can in and out better.” She was like, “Ok.” My son was like “Please stop talking to people.”
I’m my fvcking dad.
csb
Yesterday I bought 5 power ball quick picks. Jackpot was like $250 million. I said, “Heh…$250 million is like nothing now. You know, when I was in college I remember the first time it hit $100 million and you couldn’t get into stores to buy a ticket the day of because of how crowded it was. Now it resets at like $100 million!” The 22 year old girl with the nose ring was like, “Um…you want anything else you old gross dude?”
Today I’m on an elevator with my son and a young lady is on there and the door is staying open longer than normal. I said, “You know why they stay open longer at medical offices? So wheelchairs and stretchers can in and out better.” She was like, “Ok.” My son was like “Please stop talking to people.”
I’m my fvcking dad.
csb
