I assume said zipper was convicted for crimes against humanity at The Hague correct?
The worst pain?
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Pfffft. Women don't understand true pain, childbirth is clearly not as bad as a guy getting hit in the nuts.
As evidence...despite the pain of childbirth, after a couple of years women quite frequently will say "you know, it might be nice to have another baby."
But you never, ever hear a guy say "you know, I think I would like another shot in the nuts."
Case closed.
Men do of they get something out of it like getting paid in the Jackass series. Seems to me that we just need to incentive getting kicked in the balls more.
Diverticulitis put me in the ER a little over a year ago. When they went to palpate my abdomen, I snatched the nurse's hand right before she went to press on the lower left side. I think I would have passed out if she actually pressed in on that spot.
The other painful moment that comes to mind was the first pee after a cystoscopy. I never want to go through that again.
The other painful moment that comes to mind was the first pee after a cystoscopy. I never want to go through that again.
Worst I can recall:
- Viral meningitis - spent 2-3 days in the hospital wishing for death to strike
- Wisdom teeth removal - spent 8 hours afterwards wishing for death to put its cold hand on me and drag my soul out of my body
- Sinus surgery - had a drain put in as a child into one of the sinus cavities behind my eye socket. Surgery itself was fine and was knocked out. A week later though, they had to clean the passageway out and was told they could do it in 10 minutes without local anesthesia or it would be hours and hours and a huge bill to my parents. I sucked it up and said just do it. Had to lay perfectly still and feel the suction thing pass up my nose and past my eye socket rubbing & scrapping. I would not wish this on my worst enemy (maybe PJ Fleck though).
- Viral meningitis - spent 2-3 days in the hospital wishing for death to strike
- Wisdom teeth removal - spent 8 hours afterwards wishing for death to put its cold hand on me and drag my soul out of my body
- Sinus surgery - had a drain put in as a child into one of the sinus cavities behind my eye socket. Surgery itself was fine and was knocked out. A week later though, they had to clean the passageway out and was told they could do it in 10 minutes without local anesthesia or it would be hours and hours and a huge bill to my parents. I sucked it up and said just do it. Had to lay perfectly still and feel the suction thing pass up my nose and past my eye socket rubbing & scrapping. I would not wish this on my worst enemy (maybe PJ Fleck though).
I broke my left arm playing basketball, and had surgery to fix it. Two plates and eleven screws. The worst pain was one of the screws coming loose and muscles and tendons raking across the top of the screw.
Next worse was rehab after achilles surgery.
Next worse was rehab after achilles surgery.
I had one other that was pretty bad. A buddy had just bought a new boat; first day he ever had it on the water was out at my lakehouse, and his 14 year old wanted to learn how to kneeboard. She wanted to watch me do it so she could get some idea how to manuever, so I hop on. My buddy was not really very experienced as a boat driver & was going a bit too fast for a kneeboard. At some point, he whipped me across the wake, the nose of the board went into the wake, and I wiped out. I went face-first into the water, and at the instant my face hit the water, the board popped up. The edge of the board hit me square in the bridge of the nose. A kneeboard is far harder than a nose, so it very much won the war, crushing my nose & cutting a big gash across it.
I went to the ER, they stitched up the gash. Went to the ENT a couple of days later. When the 65 year old Puerto Rican ENT looked at the X-ray, his reaction was something like "pssssssssheeewwwwwww. How you do THAT?" Right at that time, his partner walked by in the hall, and he says "John, look at THIS!!!!!" John looked at the X-ray, then at me, and says "DAMN. What the heck HIT YOU?"
Had surgery to put things back together and repair my severely deviated sceptum (it was pretty much pushed all the way to one side, leaving me with one giant nostril).
It all hurt like hell, but the worst was a couple of weeks after the surgery when they pulled out the packing that had been jammed up my nostrils to keep things in place while it healed. If you've ever pulled out a nose hair, you know how damn much that hurts. Now imagine ripping out every single hair in your nose, along with the scabs that were stuck to the packing.
Damn, after thinking about that memory I might need a drink.
I went to the ER, they stitched up the gash. Went to the ENT a couple of days later. When the 65 year old Puerto Rican ENT looked at the X-ray, his reaction was something like "pssssssssheeewwwwwww. How you do THAT?" Right at that time, his partner walked by in the hall, and he says "John, look at THIS!!!!!" John looked at the X-ray, then at me, and says "DAMN. What the heck HIT YOU?"
Had surgery to put things back together and repair my severely deviated sceptum (it was pretty much pushed all the way to one side, leaving me with one giant nostril).
It all hurt like hell, but the worst was a couple of weeks after the surgery when they pulled out the packing that had been jammed up my nostrils to keep things in place while it healed. If you've ever pulled out a nose hair, you know how damn much that hurts. Now imagine ripping out every single hair in your nose, along with the scabs that were stuck to the packing.
Damn, after thinking about that memory I might need a drink.
Full knee replacement at 38 years old. Fully septic so full knee replacement 28 days later. Knee drained and staples put back in with no numbing agent. Woke up at 5:30 having no clue what had happened as I was almost dead looked down in ICU with a new new knee. Doctor says I need more staples and just pounds them in. That sucked.
As I type, I have been having a gout flareup since yesterday afternoon. It's behind my knee. I couldn't sleep last night. I could barely get out of the car. Hoping the flareup medication and drinking tons of water kicks in soon. It's never comfortable to sleep with. Having it on the big toe, you can't even have a bed sheet over it.
I had Myocarditis a few years ago, after the movie: The Last Jedi. That was pretty damn bad.
I also had my gallbladder removed. That was painful because I didn't have health insurance at the time and kept waiting it out. I had it before and knew self-induced vomiting would take care of the flare-up. In this care, it didn't stop and I finally had to go to the ER. Of course, the hospital treated me as a drug addict considering my lack of insurance and vomit stains on my shirt. They finally got serious when my white blood cell count came back.
Has discitis in my lumbar spine. Despite 2 biopsies, nothing ever cultured out. But I still did 6 weeks of IV antibiotics. Anyway, I could barely move for >9 months. I couldn't pick my kids up. Rolling over in bed was excruciating. I was alternating max dose Tylenol and ibuprofen every few hours and was on the max dose muscle relaxants and gabapentin. It was awful. Slowly got better. I have no disc left between L2/3, but they've basically fused themselves together, so hopefully that'll save me a surgery later. Which is nice.
I've been hospitalized twice (4 day and 5 day stays) for diverticulitis and that is by far the worst physical pain I've ever experienced in my life. No pain killers take the edge off of that pain. Just horrendous.
mine would have been all my broken bones, prior to both my knees going out at the same time. I was evel kneivel in a previous life. now both knees are bone on bone. hurts to walk 5 feet.
I was having it until I got rid of cokes with high fructose corn syrup. diet cokes for me now.
I had this once. they thought I had my appendix explode, getting ready for surgery when they did a last second mri or ct scan, whatever that is. they put me on happy drugs for sure. tramadol or something. the antibiotics took care of it.
I find it humorous how many attorneys (myself included) wearing slippers to the Courthouse due to gout.
Gout in one foot is terrible. Gout in both feet is debilitating.
Gout in one foot is terrible. Gout in both feet is debilitating.
do you drink or eat a lot of high fructose? or do they? so I think we didn't get it here in the states till like 1983 or something. maybe I'm wrong on the dates, but that stuff will kill
Alcohol and fish did it to me in the past. Its been years since my last gout.
A not so-hidden truth is there are a lot of alcoholics in the legal field
A not so-hidden truth is there are a lot of alcoholics in the legal field
For the past 3 years I've been dealing with shoulder issues. Torn rotator cuff, torn labrum, and frozen shoulders. The first shoulder was so bad that I wasn't sleeping. After a couple weeks of no sleep I was getting a little crazy. Most of the time it was just dull pain but every now and then I'd move wrong and it was like I was shot. Roll over it bed and BANG! Once my brother was in town and wanted to see if I could fish because he was planning a trip. It was my left shoulder that time so he figured I'd be good. We're out there and a big old bumble bee flies up under the brim of my hat. Reacting on instinct I waved it away.....then hit the ground writhing in pain. Brother was confused. One minute I'm standing there talking, the next I'm on the ground.
Still, I'd take that pain over a cramp in my sphincter any day. I was on a med that caused constipation as a side effect. I have IBD. After a few days of not pooping I'm pretty full. Then an IBD episode hit. Stuff needed to come out, but the exit was blocked. Caused spasms in my sphincter that felt like someone was jabbing me in the anus with an ice pick. Repeatedly. Wife was concerned when she heard sobs coming from the bathroom. Went on for like an hour because in order for anything to pass I had to relax, which is hard when you're taking an ice pick to the ass. I stopped taking that medicine.
Still, I'd take that pain over a cramp in my sphincter any day. I was on a med that caused constipation as a side effect. I have IBD. After a few days of not pooping I'm pretty full. Then an IBD episode hit. Stuff needed to come out, but the exit was blocked. Caused spasms in my sphincter that felt like someone was jabbing me in the anus with an ice pick. Repeatedly. Wife was concerned when she heard sobs coming from the bathroom. Went on for like an hour because in order for anything to pass I had to relax, which is hard when you're taking an ice pick to the ass. I stopped taking that medicine.
I've never had it in my knee. Sounds awful. Good luck. Get better!
New Years Resolution: Research what gout is and how to avoid it.
For gout, I recommend cherries and cherry juice. It works.
When my little sis (no pics) was like 10, she was doing a handstand in our basement. She fell, and her collarbone landed on the metal part that holds the wheel on a computer chair. Like the base of this, but from a 90's type chair.
I'll never forget going to the hospital with her and my mom, and her just SCREAMING in pain at every single little bump during the drive. A collarbone is definitely not anything I ever want to break.
I do Cranberry for a lot of reasons, but Cherries are what are recommended
Stay away from too much red meat as well
Gall Stones...could drink an entire bottle of whiskey and still be basically sober and not able to pass out.
For me, I had (well, still have) a torn labrum that I mistakenly allowed to not get figured out for far too long. The swelling got so bad that I really couldn't move the entire shoulder area at all. I felt it from my neck/ear area to halfway down my side. I'd tuck my arm into the front pants pocket to limit overall movement as I walked.
I had what amounted to be a hump, the inflammation got so bad I'd sort of contort myself trying to ease the pressure. Yet for some unknown reason (now) I simply would not go see a doctor about it until one day I simply had had enough.
One cortisone shot later...never had an issue since. Now this sounds simple, but I knew shoulder issues were tricky and shoulder surgeries don't always have good outcomes - and I also knew cortisone shots are more or less a one time deal where if it doesn't work you can't just go get another one in the same location.
But this time X marked the spot - the doc hit the bull's eye - and I've never had an issue since.
It's my 3rd time. While it's acute and every movement is very painful, it's not as acute as having it in the big toe. But I could be lucky based on photos I have seen such as below. I am guessing this guy is on some serious pain medication.
I get gout flare ups in my knees and ankles. It put me in the hospital once. Worse pain of my life and I once had a piece of a nail stuck in my eye.
Goddamn. Between laughing and cringing at some of this, I feel like I have been lucky.
I had a bone spur in my neck, it would rub on the nerve, and my lats, pecs, traps, and tricep would all swell and burn. Couldn't lift, turn my head, flex, do anything without extreme pain. After enough stretching/IB's the pain would go away. I never knew what brought on these symptoms, eventually that spur either went away or the nerves just deadened. I haven't had an episode in years (knock on wood).
I had a bone spur in my neck, it would rub on the nerve, and my lats, pecs, traps, and tricep would all swell and burn. Couldn't lift, turn my head, flex, do anything without extreme pain. After enough stretching/IB's the pain would go away. I never knew what brought on these symptoms, eventually that spur either went away or the nerves just deadened. I haven't had an episode in years (knock on wood).
